Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“I am the Lord thy God.”
… Surah 1:1. In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
“Thou didst not build that.”
“If thou likest thy plan, thou may keep thy plan.”
“In the beginning was the government.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“We must never adopt an arrogant attitude of great-power chauvinism and become conceited because of the victory of our revolution and certain achievements in our construction. Every nation, big or small, has its strong and weak points.”
Thou shalt not consume walnuts in thy cookies, for they are truly an abomination.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“You need to defeat your inner hippie before you fall down a manhole and die.”
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/90/Quotations_from_Chairman_Mao_Tse-Tung_bilingual.JPG
“political power grows out of the barrel of a gun”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. “
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.”
“Democracy is the road to socialism.”
“The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.”
“The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“Judge not lest ye be judged and found not to be funny enough to make the Top 5 of SLOTD. Never mind even thinking about kiss up cookies.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying… Power is not only what you have, but what the enemy thinks you have. Power is derived from 2 main sources – phones and pens.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
Judges 15:15 – The Spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an Obama.
Genesis 3:13 – The woman said, “Obama deceived me, and I ate.”
…”four legs good, two legs better”.
…”I am an invisible man.”
…”All this happened, more or less.”
…”It was like so, but wasn’t.”
From each according to his ability. To each according to his needs.
Three is the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three…..Five is right out.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying:
“…and From the BOOK OF LACKADAISICAL Chapter XI Verse V-VII
“Thou shalt not cause sleep deprivation or pretend drownings, henceforth these will be called ‘Beating around the Bush!”
The 11th Commandment clearly says (and let me be perfectly clear!): “You can kill more children and Grandmothers with
Drones than you can by asking for info!”
The ruthless economic exploitation and political oppression of the peasants by the landlord class forced them into numerous uprisings against its rule…. It was the class struggles of the peasants, the peasant uprisings and peasant wars that constituted the real motive force of historical development in Chinese feudal society.
Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
@9 walruskkkch
Thus the chosen one was asked “Dost thou mean the air speed of an African or a European swallow” and which he replied “Thou art surely a racist for asking such a thing.” Here ends the lesson.
By quoting part of Isaiah 30:7, concerning Congress, “…there strength is to sit still.”
“….Small change can often be found under sofa cushions.”
From the book of Punter, chapter 5, verse 23: “All you have to fear is. Me.”
(correctint #22) By quoting part of Isaiah 30:7, concerning Congress, “…their strength is to sit still.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying:
“I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswagglin’ cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter. “
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here
Deteriorata. Deteriorata
Go placidly amid the noise and waste
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep
Rotate your tires
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys
Know what to kiss, and when
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do
Wherever possible, put people on hold
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time
There is always a big future in computer maintenance
You are a fluke of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back
Remember The Pueblo
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate
Know yourself
If you need help, call the FBI
Exercise caution in your daily affairs
Especially with those persons closest to you –
That lemon on your left, for instance
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet
Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch
Hire people with hooks
For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken
Take heart in the bedeepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese
And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee
You are a fluke of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you perceive him to be – hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate
Give up!
You are a fluke of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back
“…as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying:
“Living in the modern age,
death for virtue is the wage.
So it seems in darker hours.
Evil wins, kindness cowers.
Ruled by violence and vice
we all stand upon thin ice.
Are we brave or are we mice,
here upon such thin, thin ice?
Dare we linger, dare we skate?
Dare we laugh or celebrate,
knowing we may strain the ice?
Preserve the ice at any price?”
Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying: As-salamu alaykum
“Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.” (Hey, even a blind hog can find an acorn if he roots around enough.)
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for the night.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
During an interview, President Obama quoted “the Good Book”, saying…
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”
And when We wish to destroy a town, We send Our commandment to the people of it who are on welfare and lead easy lives, but they transgress therein; thus the word proves true against it, so We destroy it with utter destruction and looting.
Therefore listen not to the Global Warming™ Unbelievers, but strive against them with the utmost strenuousness
…Arbeit macht frei
I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and tax off every dollar of them
…the waters will rise up and consume the land.
… hands up. don’t shoot.
… lather, rinse, repeat.
… take my wife. please!
As to those who reject amnesty, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help
… “An I, foreign I.”
It’s in the Koran
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
“What is truth?”
Oppo @46: Ouch! Precision and accuracy!
@CCO: Thanks
… “I am black; astonishment hath taken hold on me.
Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?”
(Jeremiaffordablecareact, 8:21)
….allow dog to cool for 5 minutes before serving.
…Blessed are the government cheesemakers.
Rodney Dill @ 28 and Oppo @ 46: Priceless ten ring scores!
Yeah, and though I walk through the valley in the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, because I have this pen and a phone.
“. . . a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’”
Unfortunately while the injured man had “Bronze Plan” Obamacare and the Samaritan only expected to be on the hook for the $5,000 deductible and a 20% co-pay, it turns out that he had chosen an out-of-network innkeeper and thus lost his entire life savings.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit a fully-paid Obamaphone.
Here children are the five books of law: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. But don’t worry, we will issue thousands of pages of regulations to flesh out what God really meant to say and to correct technical drafting errors.
At Cana there was a great wedding feast where Jesus turned water into wine. The master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” To which Jesus replied “I am sorry about that, but the ATF rabbi hadn’t affixed the holy excise tax stamps on the water jars until just now.”
Don’t know any catchy quotes from “Rules for Radicals”
…then Popeye went to Mount Olive. The Pope beat the crap out of him.
The only part of the “Good Book” liberals know exist. The Sermon on the Mount. The rest does not matter.
Some Readings from the Book of Numbers (Which Never Add Up, For Some Reason):
“And he took of his parable, and said, Rise up, Balak [Obama], and hear; hearken unto me, thou son [like Bill Clinton] of Zippor . . . ” (23:18)
“And when [Obama] saw that it pleased the Lord to bless Israel, he went not. . . ” (24:1)
” . . . he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. . . ” (24:8)
“Nevertheless the Kenite shall be wasted. . . ” (24:22)
“And Israel abode in Shittim . . . ” (25:1)
As St. Vince and his prophet Aaron would say…. R-E-L-A-X
… or, in Obama’s case, ” R-L-A-X”
And the children of Mexico were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them and they all voted democrat.
“See? Gullible is in the dictionary after all!”
…Yea though I walk through the valley of the 19th hole I will fear no evil dude with a copy of Catcher In The Rye in his pocket and a pistol in his hand if we can get enough liberals elected.
“Thou shalt not lie” does not apply to me, because my father is Satan, and he is the father of the lie, and a murderer from the beginning. See? The apple does not fall far from the tree.
Mene Mene Teckel Upharsin.
Proverbs 21:24
“Scoffer” is the name of the proud, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.
Proverbs 22:10
Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.
Oops, sorry; those aren’t the words obie read, those are the words I wish the voters had read.
…”Have you seen me mentioned in here? I’m all over this book but most of my ‘good’ stuff is at the end!”
“The good Lord moves in imperious ways. And so do I.”