Iraq on Thursday allowed reporters into one of their factories that was suspected of developing nuclear arms. Gen. Hussan Mohammed Amin (do you get made fun of at school in the Middle East if you are not named Mohammed?) led the tour. “The only things we Iraqis make here is toothbrushes,” Amin told the reporters, “Deadly, deadly toothbrushes.” He then proceeded to laugh in an evil and suspicious manner.
“Why do you need so many toothbrushes?” asked one of the reporters, “I’ve talked to a number of Iraqis since I’ve been here, and I can tell you for sure that no one is using them.”
“Uh… did I say toothbrushes? I meant mustache combs,” Amin corrected, “Simple mustache combs; not made with plutonium.” He then started to laugh evilly again, but caught himself this time.
“Why are there signs cautioning of radioactivity everywhere?” asked another reporter.
“Uh… those are cautioning of fans. Yes, fans. Uh… some people don’t like air blown on them. They are very sensitive, you know.”
Amin then showed the reporters the various machines. “This one mixes the plastic. Uh… this one molds the plastic. And this one creates the housing for the radioactive material… uh, I mean– this one also does something involving… uh… what did I say… ah, yes… mustache combs. It is another mustache comb machine.”
“Will we get to see any of these mustache combs,” a reporter inquired.
Amin then pulled out a gun and shot the reporter plus another one behind him. “Let that be a lesson to you: if you question our mustache combs, I will kill you and the person next to you. Now, let’s go to the next mustache comb production room. There are many warheads lying on the ground, so be careful not to trip.”