IMAO EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT IMAO.US!
Look at this document I got in the mail (I won’t disclose the source to protect him):
This is a scan of the document (with my site stamped on the .jpeg). What I have in possession is not a copy. I had a handwriting expert verify that the signature is John Kerry’s.
This is quite damning as it proves that John Kerry had his hands in this forged document incident and colluded with CBS News. I hope this gets lots of press attention soon.
UPDATE: Some more experts have looked at the document, and there is a great amount of evidence saying that this is not in fact a modern computer generated document, but instead was made on a typewriter in the 70’s.
Once expert has pointed to the monospace typeset which is uncommon on modern word processors. Also, the corrections by pen, especially the cross-out of the spelling of the first spelling of “electro” is odd for a modern word processor since it’s much easier to use the backspace key to remove a misspelled word. Then there is the “st” on 21st which is not superscripted, something any modern word processor would do automatically.
Another expert has also pointed out there are indents for each letter, something you would not get by printing out the document but would get by using a 70’s era typewriter.
Finally, someone noted the oddness of the content. Kerry never mentions Bush by name, though he would be the obvious target. Also, instead of saying “computer” or “word processor,” he says “electro-mechanical device,” and instead of saying “fax,” he says “electrical conveyance” – as if he doesn’t know about the technology of this era and is just guessing. Then there is the references to flying cars, jet packs, mutants, and a nuclear apocalypse – things that don’t match up with present day but might be how someone from the 70’s would envision the 21st century.
But, I found an expert who said it is possible to print out a monospaced document with mistakes and correct them by pen. Also, superscript can be turned off. And, while uncommon when printing a document, it would be possible for someone to use some tool to put some indents for each letter. Why, I don’t know… but we’re talking about John Kerry.
As for the odd language and references, remember that John Kerry is haughty and French-looking and probably half-crazed by botched Botox injections. Thus, I don’t think we can conclude that this document was a forgery made in the 70’s and isn’t modern.
UPDATE2: I think it’s time for me to just admit I have been had. This is not a document proving a modern day conspiracy by John Kerry, but instead a forgery of a modern day document made in the 70’s. I called my father, and he remembers having a run in with a haughty, French-looking man while in Vietnam. Apparently that man then vowed to one day make a fool of his son. John Kerry must have typed up that document then.
I should have been more suspicious when the name on the envelope I got this document in was “Kohn Jerry.” Damn his oily hide! Well, I’ll get him… and his little hopes of being president too!
I less worried about the collusion and more worried about those attacking mutants. You’re scaring us, Frank.
Mutants? Let me at em!
That looks like it was produced by an IBM Selectric. I question as to whether we had those in Vietnam. Was there even electricity anywhere else but America at that time? This looks like a forgery to me, but I have to admit that my only qualifications are that I took a typing class in ’74 using a Selectric. Course that seems to be good enough for CBS. I wonder what they pay for expert testimony these days.
I thought Kerry was the mutant. Oh, well.
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper
John Kerry has always signed his name “John F’in Kerry”, even in the seventies. This is oviously fake and therefore should be accepted as truth.
Right, but we can’t believe anything Frank J says, because he has been on record as referring to John Kerry as “haughty and French-looking.”
So I put it to Mr. Kerry: Answer the questions, John!
NOOOOO! Don’t admit you’re wrong, Frank! Haven’t you learned anything from Dan RaTHer and the Clintons? Deny, deny, deny!
The document is defintely fake….but accurate.
Man oh man!! This document is going to send Kerry’s campaign down the…..nevermind, too late.
I think we need to report this to the (C)ould (B)e (S)electric news. Deny Rather would want to be the first, not the second or third or fourth, but the first to report on this…even though the entire matter has already been reported by multiple news agencies, including the “Morning Bee” in Minot, North Dakota. These frogeries, which are French in nature, are burgeoning out of control (don’t tell Dan, he doesn’t know what that means)…I hope the pjadeen will overcome.
CBS – Can’t Be Substantiated.
Can’t Be Substantiated is the best one I’ve heard!!!! Good job anonymous! Damn I wish I had thought of that.
CBS=Caught Being Stupid
This post was funny but required thinking. You should put a warning on your website.
Yo, you should say that the document is “fake but accurate.”
You can’t trust that ‘other’ expert that pointed out “there are indents for each letter”. I remember that typing class w/Sticky B (was that our Junior year?) and you indent paragraphs, not letters! That proves the whole thing is a faked forgery for sure.
Waitaminnit… Whose world is this? Both flying cars and nuclear apocalypse? I know it’s not my world, and I am pretty sure it’s not your world, FrankJ. How come they can make flying cars even after nuclear war and we can’t make them without one?
So many layers of contradiction… my head hurts…
You are wrong, Frank, wrong! John Kerry HALF-crazed by botched botox injections? The man is COMPLETELY crazed by my latest assessments. So much fun watching his campaign go up in flames…
Ahh, that explains everything!!!!
Mystery Solved.
Nothing more to see. Shows over. Move along folks.
Ow. Just, ow…
“it would be possible for someone to use some tool to put some indents for each letter”
I assume by this statement that you mean that the letters dented the paper, as though being struck by a typerwriter key.
Although very suspicious, I would like to remind your readers that this could’ve been done by a dot-matrix printer or a daisy-wheel printer, some of which still exist. This could still very well be a modern document.
This document clearly could not have been done on a typewriter. It must have been created in Microsoft Word.
IT IS A FAKE! A FAKE I TELL YOU!
Proof that the Dems have completely lost their f*cking minds.With all of the links that are starting to show up in every major news channel (nothing like a little blood in the water to get the sharks to circle) between CBS, Bill Burkett, and the Kerry campaign (specifically, two of Kerry’s senior advisors, plus the DNC, who was getting a whole ad campaign ready – “Fortunate Son”, remember? – which used those documents as their basis), you’d think that Kerry would immediately come clean and demand to know who would have tried something so utterly reprehensible, and denounce the attempt to use such obvious forgeries in an attempt to smear a sitting President.