My writing is so funny and insightful, I deserve to make tons of money. But exactly how much money should I be making?
I think a million dollars a day.
What do you think?
Well I think it “Whatever the number Jonah Goldberg, plus Scott Ott, plus Dave Berry makes…plus one.” TIMES what I make.
Making it an nice round even…zero.
Ok, double what I make. zero zero
As a techno-geek and EE, I think you should have to work for bandwidth. If that’s not good enough, a one time pay out of a gazillion dollars should do it. Payable, of course, by the leftist idiots of the world that give you so much fodder to work with. I mean really, look at all the exposure terrorists get on your site. Also, the French and anyplace that has monkeys should have to caugh up some too. You are to monkeys what Jane Goodall was to the bullet proof vest.
Since it’s not my money, a million billion trillion zillion dollars per word. But paid out somehow so it’s not inflationary and doesn’t affect my standard of living. Maybe they could pay it out in that play money they have in Europe so it ruins their economy to pay that much instead of ruining ours.
ChrTh brings up an interesting point. I say we give you the million a day (your choice of U.S, bu, ryo, or beer) but position chained monkeys in your house to keep you confined to the computer.
I think you should make fifty gajillion dollars. And I think you should make me your agent, so I can explain to people why you make that much, while collecting a mere 1% for my services, freeing you to do more important work.
Oh, I checked the Ferengi wage laws – I think a couple of bars of gold pressed latinum over 20 years should cover it.
Don’t tell me the ST Universe is money free. HA HA!
Whatever people will throw in your guitar case as you read your witticisms set to music in the park.
ps. Don’t forget to claim the income as taxable income and pay your fair share.
Depends…
Million a day is ’bout right, IF –
1) Your agent/representative/designated-SarahK-escort gets 20%, plus all expenses paid –
2) Your agent/etc…, is ME.
(You DID say you REALLY, REALLY NEED an agent/etc., right??)
Frank–
I think your assessment is right on the money (no pun intended). However, with a gross income of $365,000,000 per annum, you will be in the nation’s top tax bracket, which would make you ineligible for any upcoming Bush administration tax cuts.
However, this would probably not hinder your enjoyment of an increase in the number of dead terrorists over the next four years.
Hope this helps.
P.S. How come the first poster never answers the question?
Duh..if they stopped to type an answer to a question then they wouldn’t be first. And being first is the most important thing in life, certainly way more important that commenting on Franks funny and insightful posts. Apparently.
P.S. All this “What am I worth in cold hard cash to you?” talk is making me nervous Frank.
Bout a buckOfive, cause freedom isn’t free. And quality humor shouldn’t be free either.
Otherwise I’m willing to let the market dictate.
Course as Buckwheat said to Darla:
“Dictate good”.
I say pay you on a straight commission based on readership, thereby encouraging you to consistently offer fresh and entertaining material that will encourage your readers to keep reading.
How about a buck for each unique visitor per day?
And by “buck” I mean 1/10,000 of a penny. What? You think we made of money?
I say you should get a resonable hourly rate plus about $1/hour since you live in FL with our own special minimum wage.
I nominate Sarah K. for funniest comment on this post, it caught me off guard and got a good laugh.
I donate my money to the topless – the amount is proportional to my arousal. For example, democrats (who have problems maintaining an election) would get the sticky nickel I found under the jukebox. I think Frank deserves at least that much. Maybe more. (Will post for food)
First!
Whatever the number Jonah Goldberg, plus Scott Ott, plus Dave Berry makes…plus one.
Like 5 times more than Terrrezzza Heinz-Kerry
My writing is so funny and insightful
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ahh..sniff That was funny…yet…so insightful—BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well I think it “Whatever the number Jonah Goldberg, plus Scott Ott, plus Dave Berry makes…plus one.” TIMES what I make.
Making it an nice round even…zero.
Ok, double what I make. zero zero
12 silver pieces.
Good luck with that.
Why would the emporer of the world need money when he can simply demand whatever he wants?
Thirty silver ryo
Bu is silver. Ryo is gold.
at least that.
how much does platinum cost?
Enough to support SarahK when you guys get married. -_-
As a techno-geek and EE, I think you should have to work for bandwidth. If that’s not good enough, a one time pay out of a gazillion dollars should do it. Payable, of course, by the leftist idiots of the world that give you so much fodder to work with. I mean really, look at all the exposure terrorists get on your site. Also, the French and anyplace that has monkeys should have to caugh up some too. You are to monkeys what Jane Goodall was to the bullet proof vest.
Since it’s not my money, a million billion trillion zillion dollars per word. But paid out somehow so it’s not inflationary and doesn’t affect my standard of living. Maybe they could pay it out in that play money they have in Europe so it ruins their economy to pay that much instead of ruining ours.
Buck-fifty/hour plus cab fare and all the donuts left in the break room after work.
How about 40 acres and a mule?
30 pieces of gold multiplied by the measure of your insightful funnyness…
…or whatever you can con people into giving you 😉
Please, you’re lazy. If you had a million dollars, you’d stop working.
I say we set you at minimum wage plus tips.
P.S. How come the first poster never answers the question?
I put your writing on par with Will Rogers. How much did he make?
ChrTh brings up an interesting point. I say we give you the million a day (your choice of U.S, bu, ryo, or beer) but position chained monkeys in your house to keep you confined to the computer.
I’m an economist so I have to say you should make:
(y+g)/2*(r^t)
That is you should make the amount of money you make.
I think you should make fifty gajillion dollars. And I think you should make me your agent, so I can explain to people why you make that much, while collecting a mere 1% for my services, freeing you to do more important work.
Oh, I checked the Ferengi wage laws – I think a couple of bars of gold pressed latinum over 20 years should cover it.
Don’t tell me the ST Universe is money free. HA HA!
Enough money to pay for Michael Moore’s sex change operation and then pay an iraqi villager to make Moore his submitted wife…
$3. but in the good way, that’s a fortune in crappy countries who are not america.
Is that million before or after taxes?
Whatever people will throw in your guitar case as you read your witticisms set to music in the park.
ps. Don’t forget to claim the income as taxable income and pay your fair share.
Depends…
Million a day is ’bout right, IF –
1) Your agent/representative/designated-SarahK-escort gets 20%, plus all expenses paid –
2) Your agent/etc…, is ME.
(You DID say you REALLY, REALLY NEED an agent/etc., right??)
Frank–
I think your assessment is right on the money (no pun intended). However, with a gross income of $365,000,000 per annum, you will be in the nation’s top tax bracket, which would make you ineligible for any upcoming Bush administration tax cuts.
However, this would probably not hinder your enjoyment of an increase in the number of dead terrorists over the next four years.
Hope this helps.
P.S. How come the first poster never answers the question?
Duh..if they stopped to type an answer to a question then they wouldn’t be first. And being first is the most important thing in life, certainly way more important that commenting on Franks funny and insightful posts. Apparently.
P.S. All this “What am I worth in cold hard cash to you?” talk is making me nervous Frank.
Bout a buckOfive, cause freedom isn’t free. And quality humor shouldn’t be free either.
Otherwise I’m willing to let the market dictate.
Course as Buckwheat said to Darla:
“Dictate good”.
I say pay you on a straight commission based on readership, thereby encouraging you to consistently offer fresh and entertaining material that will encourage your readers to keep reading.
How about a buck for each unique visitor per day?
And by “buck” I mean 1/10,000 of a penny. What? You think we made of money?
I say you should get a resonable hourly rate plus about $1/hour since you live in FL with our own special minimum wage.
I nominate Sarah K. for funniest comment on this post, it caught me off guard and got a good laugh.
I had no idea bu was silver and ryo was gold… see that piece of info is worh at least 5 bucks
Nothing, until someone tells me where the happy dance video is!?!
Is this another one of your “rectorical” questions???
The answer should be obvious. You should have have money coming out of your rect cough pooper!
I donate my money to the topless – the amount is proportional to my arousal. For example, democrats (who have problems maintaining an election) would get the sticky nickel I found under the jukebox. I think Frank deserves at least that much. Maybe more. (Will post for food)
All this talk about money is definitely making somebody horny.
$1.25
Hell, maybe $2.50 a sec!