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I just saw a TV ad for a new Volvo that has a heartbeat sensor so you can tell if a psychotic murderer is hiding in your backseat before you get in your car (that’s actually what the ad illustrated; it had a woman realize there was someone hiding in her car so she ran off in fear). I guess Volvo, having no where else to go with their safety record, has decided to protect consumers from urban legends. I checked their site, and the feature costs an extra $500. For that kind of money, I want something that will wake me up before Freddy Kruger can get me.
Dang, for $500, you can get a decent hand gun and blow the pervert away; that also cleanses the gene pool. Pickup trucks ought to come with that option; a free gun rack and double barreled shotgun.
How about a large handgun instead? I know that may not fit into the Volvo image, but hey it sure as hell is a lot cooler than checking your heart monitor because you are scared the Bogeyman is in your back seat.
How did you people get a picture of Hillary without makeup? You are simply amazing.
Hey, I was thinking the same thing! If she’d been carrying, she could have just shot the guy in the face. That would, in turn, discourage other bad people from stalking women in lonely parking lots: “Hmm, I feel like assaulting a woman tonight. On second thought, Jimmy got his face shot off last Tuesday, so maybe I’ll just stay at home and not risk some chick shooting off my face with her 40 S&W subcompact.”
The driver’s seat has a built in dialysis machine in case someone takes your kidneys and leaves a message on the mirror.
LMFAO….While they’re at it, they should have a UFO detector. So they know if some alien schmuck from Procyon is trying to beam ’em up. Or for the illegals with new Bank de Amigo cards, a Border Patrol scanner. If any BP come within 500ft of the car or keychain, their keychain screams, ‘La Migra! La Migra!’
Actually, it’s not a bad feature. Keeping tabs on heartbeats is a good idea when you experience the exhilarating rush of driving in a boxy (but good) Volvo…
I am looking forward to Volvo introducing a few other features:
1) A sensor on the door handles that detect hooks and other artificial limbs when the driver and passenger are involved in heavy petting.
2) An on-board navigation system that notifies you if the destination to which you are taking a hitch hiker is actually a house that burned down years ago, or a house from which a young girl ran away and was subsequently murdered.
and finally:
3) Cruise Control that actually stops the engine and pulls over to the side of the road if the driver gets out of his seat to “take a nap” while the car does the driving.
How much for the ejection seat for when you go airborne after activating the JATO rockets you strapped to the roof of the car.
Hey Wolfman, you should come to Eastern New Mexico. The dealerships here often give a shotgun as an incentive to buy a new truck. Though personally I prefer an easily concealable handgun.
The rear view mirror has an automatic Fogging feature that activates if the phrase “Bloddy Mary” is said at least two times in a row.
Um, that’d be “Bloody Mary”.
The High Beams are deadly to the Chupacabra because they are powered by Magic Beans.