A blue whale can be nearly one hundred feet in length and weigh over two hundred tons. I mention this because that is what I’m going to have ram you at forty miles per hour if you losers ever venture into MY OCEAN!
And yes, blue whales don’t usually swim that fast, BUT THEY DO WHEN I TELL THEM TO!
Really, I’m tired of you nothings trying to talk me down. Yes, on land my ability to communicate with marine life isn’t of much use. In such of situation, all I have to rely on is my super strength. So go ahead and make fun of me to my face if you meet me in a bar, because all I can do in response is embed your head into a concrete wall (actually, I can use my ability to telephatically control marine life to put you into a seizure, but the smashing your head into a wall is much more fun and satisfying).
By the way, I just slept with your girlfriend. I wouldn’t expect her to find you very interesting anymore.
Since nitwits like “facts” about weaklings like Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, I thought I’d give you some facts about a real hero:
AQUAMAN FACTS
* Batman keeps a ring of kryptonite in a safe in case Superman goes berserk and Batman needs to take him down. What does Batman keep locked away in case Aquaman goes berserk? A gun to kill himself with.
* High tide — that’s Aquaman taking a leak.
* Why does marine life do as Aquaman commands? Because they all can feel pain and fear it.
* Aquaman doesn’t swim. He’s actually pulled in a current when the water flees him in fear.
* Pangea split into separate continents when Aquaman swam towards it and yelled, “Hey! You’re in my way!”
* Scientist theorize that the motivation for fish to evolve legs was so they could flee Aquaman.
There you go. Make your own and trade him with your friends. Time you guys get behind a real winner instead of the politicians you’ve been supporting as of late.
One last thing: Aquaman, like all real heroes, supports the troops and their mission. If you want to be like the Arthur Curry, support fighting evil. Last time a terrorist waded into the ocean, I had some crabs grab that piece of @#$% and hold him down while a couple clown fish slowly ate his eyes because I’m a sick bastard when I’m mad.
Aquaman=Gay for Captain Planet
:oD
The last time Aquaman was picked up by a fishing trawler, he only escaped with his life because the fishermen decided he was too disgusting to even be made into pet food.
Aquaman has been outwitted by Sarcasm Man seventeen times.
(We won’t even get into the number of times the two of them have made out with each other. Ick!)
Fact: Aquaman lives in the ocean because Fred Thompson once looked at him. He used to live in Gatlinburg.
In a fight between Aquaman and Aquaman…
AQUA-man says it all, guys.
“High tide — that’s Aquaman taking a leak”
Therefore this tough guy (is he related to the Breck Girl?) swims in his own…
*Foamy, cloudy sea water– that’s Aquaman JERKING OFF while reading a Namor comic.
So our favorite pantyhose wearing tough guy is talking a bit of “smack”? Sounds like the bluster of a weakling fag that is trying to keep from getting bent over and having someone’s fish-stick stuffed up his poop-shoot–again–today! Really sad that WaterHomoSissy can’t back up the big-boy trash talk without getting biatch slapped around the fish tank by any and all comers– Hey AquaMan–call Sarcasm Man–he’s looking for a date tonight!
Wow. Aquaman is pissed. Did Aqualad leave him again? Or make fun of his ED? Or make him stay in the Gimp Chest all night?
Seriuosly, Aquaman… take a deep breath, relax, and blow a trout you wussy wanker.
Get back to me when you grow a beard and replace your hand with a hook.
Anyone who calls somebody ‘wanker’ should be bitch slapped. Severely.
To quote Syndrome: “Isn’t that a little dark for you?”
My tag is a link for the viewer to decide if this is true or not!
“High tide — that’s Aquaman taking a leak”
Therefore this tough guy (is he related to the Breck Girl?) swims in his own…
Posted by: Spyndrilleum on March 23, 2007 12:44 PM
So he probably drinks it to if hes spending so much time in the ocean.