It often seems like our military gets stuck in a certain way of thinking, which was why I thought it was great to hear the Pentagon considered making a gay bomb. It takes some real outside the box thinking to say at a brainstorming session, “How about instead of killing the enemy, we make them gay?”
I’m not saying it’s a great idea, I’m just saying it’s a new idea. People have been killing each other in war for eons, but they haven’t been making each other gay. Of course, the main defense is to already have a really gay military making them effectively immune to the gay bomb, but not everyone is going to think ahead like that. Also, if Tom Tancredo wants to sound even more extreme, he can threaten that, if there’s another terrorist attack, he will gay bomb Mecca. Tell me the enemy won’t pay attention to that threat.
Threatening to nuke the enemy is tired; it would be nice to be able to threaten to make them gay.
…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
(hat tip Conservative Grapevine)
OK–so a perfectly normal manly man (like me) is walking down the street thinking about women and we drop the bomb and next thing he knows he has a hankerin’ to take one up the keister? Two questions: 1. How do I make sure this NEVER EVER happens to me EVER and 2. Can I buy some in a spray bottle to use on my friends?
We could threaten to Hoff them….
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hoff
The perfect weapon against Islamotards.
Sharia Law dictates the death sentence for Gays. Let them go at it, and then they have to off each other afterwards.
It’ll be the start of Cold War II…we’ll have to make Gayout Shelters
I think it’s just wishful thinking from the Berkeley Sunshine Project
ussjimmy, hopefully you wouldn’t want to spray it on your friends if it were PERMANENT, would you?
and i have a question, “would it UN-gay fairies and dykes?”
Forcibly turned gay… a fate worse than death.
I second the spray bottles.
homonuclear warfare the homohammed bomb
It proved TOO successful at the initial flyover test over the John Edwards mansion. (Ann Coulter, being privvy to the mission, hit the nail on the head.)
I suggest putting it to the ultimate test, by which I mean, of course, turning the moon gay. I will naturally expect a percentage of sales on any “Gay Bomb the Moon” t-shirts.
yea, I was thinking of a one night gay spray that one could douse one’s friend with right before going out…it would allow for some entertaining fun for years to come along with some future earnings potential through obvious blackmail… I can see it being “pitched” by that greasy Billy Mays guy on TV…
Leave it to the Air Force to think of something like this. I was thankful to NOT see the Army’s name anywhere in that article. It’s against the Geneva Convention to use inhumane methods on the enemy-just shoot the poor bastards.
Does a gay bomb used on goat-f***ers turn them straight?
Seems to me the Govt’s been testing these on San Fran, and other cities for quite some time now. Thank God I’m immune to these WMD’s (Weapons of Moral Destruction) or I’d have to shoot myself! That would be the biologically proper thing to do methinks!
I’m surprised the suggestion didn’t come from the Navy.
What about the Nude Bomb?
Sodomy, rum and the lash.
From what I hear, it would have no effect since they use boys until they get a wife (no wonder they’re angry and suicidal).
That’s something I’ve never understood. Why is it okay to blast the enemy to bits with bullets and bombs, but not okay to use depleted uranium rounds or white phosphorus?
I’m sure we all remember the short-lived “scandal” after Zarquawi’s death. Some dumb, monkey-faced liberals claimed that Zarquawi was not actually killed by the bomb we dropped on him, only badly injured, and that an unnamed US soldier who came upon the scene allegedly beat him to death. Whenever this “controversy” was brought up, my first question was always “Why is it okay to drop a multi-ton bomb on top of Zarquawi’s head in an attempt to pulverize and incinerate him, but a war crime to stomp his face in the dirt afterward?”
(Inside underground Military installation, in the war room. With Enemy combatants live feed on ‘big screen’.)
Enemy #1: “You have no hope, infidels!”
Enemy #2: “Allah ass bar!”
Enemy #1: “Ack bar! Ack… BAR! … You’ve been, warned, foolish Americans!”
General’s Aide: rolling eyes “This again, sir?”
General: “Think again, laundry head! We have a new weapon that will stop you in your tracks! And then some. You’ll stop in your tracks, then realize your shoes are un-stylish! And, then you’ll start thinking about wall treatments for your caves! If… you… uh… know what I mean…”
Enemy #1: “Are you threatening to make us… errr… fabulous?”
General: “Yes! We are!”
Enemy #2: “Impossible”
Aide: Pulls out boombox and sets on table
General: “Push…….. play!*
(“Raining Men” starts playing)
Enemy #1: “Egads! How will I ever get my virgins if this is true?”
Enemy #2: “We’ll… uhhh… get back to you….”
EASIER THINGS TO DROP:
American Idol Seasons 1 – 5
X-Men 1, 2, & 3
A goat with a veil
John Edwards in a burqa
That fag from Leno (in BDUs with four stars on his collar)
They’re all gay already. Great “outside the box” thinking though. But why dink around with all this R&D when we already have the capacity to do an Arc Light strike and have the Buffs rototill any area thought to contain insurgents? Innocents would die you say? A. Maybe that’s the price of victory, and B. How can an area be rife with insurgents without local support or at least tolerance?
A “Gay Bomb?”
Isn’t that what “Brokeback Mountain” turned out to be?
The real problem is only the navy could safely use it.
If they could make a “gay” bomb couldn’t they make a “common sense” bomb or a “mind your own business bomb” or indeed a ” become a conservative republican with some sort of brain” bomb.
I’m so loving this.
The Navy already tested it in the ocean. but Aquaman appeared unfazed by it. OK bad example.
…Isn’t experimental testing on US citizenry “Verbotten?”
First, the prototype: Metrosexual bomb
Then, the followup: Gay bomb
What’s up next?: Gay balm
“Mmmm K-Y you assk, sugar buns?”
…God help us all.
Yeah, ‘cos Achilles, Alexander, the Athenians and Sparta were such pushovers. What could go wrong?
You guys have been sleeping on this story for awhile now. About 3000 years ago one got dropped on Greece.
You guys have been sleeping on this story for awhile now. About 3000 years ago one got dropped on Greece.
You guys have been sleeping on this story for awhile now. About 3000 years ago one got dropped on Greece.
Nice triple post there, sport.
“homonuclear warfare ”
Best damned term I’ve come across in a long time!