9 Comments

  1. Fred Thompson does not need to escape from a black hole; the black hole has to escape from Fred Thompson.
    Black holes cannot escape from Fred Thompson; he swallows them to cure his occasional indigestion, which he gets because everyone else doesn’t think like Fred Thompson.
    Fred Thompson can initiate a fusion reaction by putting just a pinch of hydrogen between his cheek and gum.
    Fred Thompson created the heaviest know element, Thompsonium, by grabbing two atoms of Einsteinium and knocking them together.
    The half-life of Thompsonium is half as long as it takes Fred Thompson to lose interest in exotic, superheavy elements, which is an immeasurably brief instant.

  2. “Thompsonium” eh…
    That would be abbreviated “Thmp” on the Periodic Table, right?
    The opposite, and lightest-to-the-point-of-nonexistence, element being Edwardsium. (Registering only in a reflection).
    Clintonium being the most viscous, oliaginous, and elusive of elements.
    (See, I KNEW the study of political “science” would pay off someday!)

  3. When he is elected common sense will return to washington, the terrorists will wet their beds, and the liberals will go into their bomb shelters to protect themselves from their evil past….

  4. He is a TV character, not a real person. He has never said anything not written by a TV screenwriter. He taaaaalks sooooo sloooooowwww I start thinking about dinner, or tomorrow or my navel. Please come up with a viable candidate who can whip the girl Bill doesn’t want. Oh, never mind RUDY can do it.

  5. It was once believed that Fred Thompson actually lost a fight to a liberal, but that is a myth created by Fred Thompson, himself, to lure more liberals toward him.
    …Liberals never were very smart.

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