People who read this blog know that I have been a leader in progressive causes for forty-three years and have been active in the Democratic Party all that time, but while I think Barack Obama seems like a nice person, I worry he could ultimatly hurt the Democrats and progressivism. The thing is, while he tries to be a liberal, I suspect he’s not all that bright. That’s why for the first time ever I’m considering voting Republican because of incidents like these:
BARACK OBAMA IS SUCH A DUMB LIBERAL THAT…
…he tried to pass a ban on semi-automatic salted weapons.
…the reason he pressed the “Present” button when voting so many times is because he thought then he’d get one.
…he’s proposed abandoning Iraq and dividing the country between the Kurds and Whey.
…when he heard some abortion doctors needed new equipment, he got them shotguns to shoot down storks.
…he’s claimed the government can afford all his proposals by raising taxes on people named “Rich.”
…he’s loudly complained about people confusing his name with Obama’s.
…he tried to increase funding for St. Patrick’s Day thinking it was a celebration of going green.
…when he realized he didn’t know who the leaders of the terrorists are, he wrote his proposed surrender on the War on Terror “To Whom It May Concern.”
…he gets angry at any foreign dignitaries who visits America and don’t speak Spanish.
…trying to one up Hillary during the campaign, he proposed galactic health care.
…he says he’s open to bisexual talks with North Korea.
…pandering to illegal immigrants he said, “Ich bin ein taco supreme!”
…when he first tried cocaine, he did it by sprinkling it on a donut.
…when trying to share in the culture when visiting an Islamic state, when about to pray he asked in what direction was Macaca.
…he feels guilty whenever he eats peanut butter on a Ritz since his church is always going on about how evil crackers are.
…when he heard his half-brother lives in a tiny hut in Kenya, he asked if it was the pizza kind.
…when he was told Republicans were engaged in an assault on “choice,” he wrote a long letter in defense of Baskin-Robbins 31 Flavors.
…when he heard Bill Ayers had planted bombs at the Pentagon, he thought it was to help the military grow more bombs.
…he proposed a gay marriage bill to allow lesbians and gay men to marry.
…he wondered aloud if Dumbo was based on him. When asked if he meant because of the ears, he replied, “No, because of the name.”
All this, and I hear that whenever Obama’s campaign has a policy meeting, they need to make sure there’s no bucket on the floor near Obama or otherwise when he gets bored he’ll get curious if his head will fit inside and inevitably get it stuck. Thus, despite the fact that I’m a long time progressive, I think I may have to vote this year for McCain and Palin. You other progressives should consider it to.
“lesbians and gay men to marry” LOL
I’m with you. As an entitlement-minded progressive I just don’t know if he can really take the reins like, say Mr. Ayers or Wright.
What would happen if McCain said:
“You can take a stand for more government, higher taxes, and free health care and call it ‘Hope and Change,’ but it’s just calling the same thing change. — You can put a suit on a monkey . . . but it’s still a monkey.”
Speaking of policies of course. He didn’t say it, but what if . . .?
Plus, Obama…
…thinks ‘astroturf’ is that stuff astronauts brought back from the moon.
…forbids the use of “waffle” or “waffling” by his campaign staff to describe positions on issues. Waffles (and waffling) in his mind are reserved for Waffle House.
…won’t let his kids play with toys that change, like ‘transformers’ because he can’t keep up.
…simply will not let doctors measure his cranial circumference. He “doesn’t want to know.”
…ordered a bobblehead made of himself as a campaign sale item, but later cancelled it when the one he got wouldn’t stop bobbling.
…things flip-flopping on the issues means you’re walking around wearing a pair of flip-flops while talking politics.
BARACK OBAMA IS SUCH A DUMB LIBERAL THAT…
…he can’t wait to move into The White House because he loves those little bugers they make.
…he thinks a cloture bill is a kind of pickle.
…he thinks Joe Biden is smart.
I guess if you can’t beat the trolls, join them! 5.0 Sir.
Obama is SO stupid he…
…puts lipstick on a pig, calls it a pig, and then kisses the pig.
…gathers his thoughts while stuttering. What comes out then is more stuttering.
…wishes he could have a teleprompter installed in his brain.
…actually thinks people in Iraq like him.
Yo Bama is so stupid….
…he visited StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, didn’t get the joke, and then required all his campaign staff to read the entire thing and buy the book.
…his economic stimulus plan involves a scanner, an inkjet printer, and a single $20 bill.
…he says Bernie Sanders is “way too conservative” to serve in his cabinet.
…he actually believes he can visciously attack a young, attractive opponent with any provably-false rumor he wants just because she has an “R” after her name and no one will notice.
…he knows exactly how many houses McCain owns but has no friggin’ clue how he bought his own.
Nope – FrankJ’s are better. All hail FrankJ! Bow down to him ye puny mortals!
Obama can’t tell the difference between a pig and a pit bull because they’re both considered unclean by muslims.
I too am a concerned progressive. I am concerned that Obama just doesn’t understand that the economic conditions we are experiencing are a result of us going off the gold standard. Therefore I am forced to consider RON PAUL in 08.
Did someone order a Paulbot? I thought that model was discontinued…
Your stupid ignorant blog has bored me. The people who truly support Palin are the biggest a**holes on Planet Earth. They are disgusting, immoral, bigots, haters and the worst human beings our planet has to offer. YOu should all be ashamed off yourselves. I\’d be surprised if a nice person like Jesus would ever wants to give you a hug. Please.
As a lifetime Whig voter, I’m truly concerned about the Whig party. They haven’t run a real candidate in years. They have absolutely no platform to speak of -I don’t even know where they stand on the war on terror.
This year I might actually vote for the Communist party.
“RepublicanFrom Ohio” Whatta maroon. “…disgusting, immoral, bigots, haters and the worst human beings our planet has to offer…” Come on, considering how many mirrors he’s broken with his face and how many dogs have howled and died with blood running from their ears after hearing him speak, I’m sure “RepublicanFrom Ohio” can better that! I’m especially unimpressed with the “haters” indictment, since I expected “Hitler” to be mentioned at least once. And where, mon freres, was “RepublicanFrom Ohio’s” head when he forgot to mention how we all wanna kill our Mother Gaia by putting the animal killing, oil drilling Palin in power? Hmmm, come to think of it, the vituperation dripping from this dweeb’s keyboard is not even moderately toxic. Surely he can do better than that?
Trolls just ain’t what they used to be…
And yet…he still comes back.
Is it that liberals just can’t help getting involved in dysfunctional relationships? I guess that would explain the victim mentality since they seem to seek it out.
BTW: “stupid ignorant?” As opposed to…smart ignorant? Stupid intelligent? Those two words mean the same thing, just like “liberal” and “dork”
As a lifelong Republican I found your list hilarious. I laughed out loud in the literal meaning of the term. I also mean literal in the literal sense as well and not the ironic sense that is so popular today.
I like Palin and will vote for McCain because if I had wanted a moron for President I would have been a Kerry supporter.
Dear RepublicanFrom Ohio,
You seem to indicate that we conservatives hate everyone indiscriminately. Of course this is false. We hate only a very selective subset of society (good alliteration there, dontcha think?)that is defined as, “clinically moronic to the point of being unable to use the stairs”. We’ll call them “liberals” for short.
We hate these liberals because they nominatee an imbicile like Barack Obama who can’t get three words out without one of them being either “um”, “uh”, or “higher taxes”. We hate them because they convinced George Lucas to create Jar Jar Binks. It’s their fault that LA has a smog problem and Seattle never has sunshine. If there were no liberals, shoelaces would never come untied and socks wouldn’t get lost in the dryer.
So, as you can clearly see, we have really righteous reasons (alliterations on a roll today!)to hate these clinically moronic idiots.
And you.
You conservatives are so full of the hate-filled hate of Republicans. I hope you all die and get a disease and it’s extremely painful and then you explode, but you’re all so hateful and mean, not nice like us liberals.
So you all deserve an excrutiatingly painful death, all of you, especially any unborn children. Because you aren’t loving and sweet like liberals, who are so nice. You conservatives are hate mongers, and if there ever is a war, it should be a war against conservatives until you’re all shot dead and bleeding and we can dance on your bloated corpses, because now we can live a life of peace, since it will just be us liberals, who are so nice and gentle and sweet. Yay, liberals!
As a lifelong swordsman, I am at odds with whom I should vote for. But this I do know: I would never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line…
What the hell, you may ask, does this have to do with anything? About as much as Obambi has to do with his current job (and no, he’s definitely not a swordsman, either). Take that into consideration when voting this fall.
“galactic health care” … Bahahaha. That, sir, is comedy.
Alot of these comments are funny too.
The creative writing course is really paying off, Frank.
These will be going “up against the wall” in several places around town here.
When they made that movie from his first book, I though Steve Martin was an excellent choice to play him.
I\’d be surprised if a nice person like Jesus would ever wants to give you a hug.
Who cares about Jesus? As long as the pope likes me, we’re cool.
I’ve searched my memory and my Bible concordance, and I haven’t been able to find an instance of Jesus, not just a nice person but the self-proclaimed Son of God, ever giving ANYONE a hug. He was rather harsh with folks, in fact.
#23 – Trish,
Well, he Did let Judas kiss him one time, and we know how That turned out!
Where Do they get their ideas about Jesus?
From Easter cards in the Hallmark store?
From Dr. Suess’s ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’?
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient to death –
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11
Obama’s so dumb he once brought a spoon to a knife-fight.
Lesbians and Gay Men marrying each other… I’m stealing that one!
I like don’t understand the insurmountable profaining of gaia.
this is an outrage! I was born a republician i registered to vote while in utero. But the sky opened and a light shown down on thee! Obama was his namo. I dont care if hes friends of the terrorists and goes behind bushes back trying to prolong the war!
If you don’t hear about it AT CNN.com then clearly it really didn’t
happen right? REV Wright,Plegher should seriously do some things on comedy central. So what if Barry wants to destroy the economy
and likes to kill babies i say we give em a shot! Cmon dont puss out he seems semi-not-in-any- way-cant-get-a-security-clearence-but-can-be-commander in cheif-democrats are stupid!!!! ONLY IN AMERICA!
Maybe your just a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.
ahem, you’re.
I usually just enjoy the posts here without rating them, but this one I gave a 5.0. Well done.
“Who cares about Jesus? As long as the pope likes me, we’re cool.”
ROFL Ja, ja…don’t forget the Patriarch of Constantinople, too. 😉
FUERE FREI!!!!