This is oddly reassuring.
BTW, everything is on Twitter now. If you’re not on Twitter, you’re some sort of second class citizen with no idea what’s going on in the world. I probably shouldn’t tell my Twitter friends I’m even talking to you.
This is oddly reassuring.
BTW, everything is on Twitter now. If you’re not on Twitter, you’re some sort of second class citizen with no idea what’s going on in the world. I probably shouldn’t tell my Twitter friends I’m even talking to you.
Uh-huh. Sure, Frank.
The day I start thinking phrases such as “twitter”, “twitting” and “twittering” are acceptable phrases for normal conversation is the day I cut a “G” into my forehead and start reading Perez Hilton.
Heh. I concur. After the novelty wears off you’re left with nothing but a big bag of gay.
Social networks suck. People suck. Everybody sucks. Frank, this type of thinking should be second nature to you.
I’m not so encouraged. “No cover-ups of future zombie attacks” kind of implies that previous zombie attacks have been swept under the rug. What else are they hiding from us?
Unless I am misreading everything. That happens to me a lot. Maybe they’re saying the future zombies will be uncovered. In other words NAKED. This is even scarier than zombies who are still wearing their tattered funeral garments. I insist that at the very least, all zombie loins be girded with something opaque.
Dear Sir:
Your ideas intrique me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
On what seems to be a related note, what is this “twitter”, and where can I get some to try while it remains legal? Is it like glitter?
Agreed Marko! This is another attempt by Frank to deny that he has been sucked in (proverbialy) to the gay oh so tweet subculture. You see Frank desperatly wants to seem “cool” for some reason and uses twitter as a means of establishing his generational affiliation. Unfortunatly he will be shunned by them for his right wing tendancies resulting in his alienation, which will lead to him climbing a tower in the vicinity of “twit” HQ and commiting homicide on those leaving the building.
You see Frank it is a sliipery slope, HEED MY WORDS. The way of the Twit leads to ruination!
By the way, I’m enjoying a nice cup of coffee smoothie right now.
1 cup coffee
1 package instant cappuccino
4 teaspoons Ovaltine
Lots of ice
Hershey’s syrup
Grind in blender, adding milk until it blends.
Besides, if any of us non-twits miss some important tweet, we know it’ll be all over IMAO in a few short seconds. Frank does us a valuable service, acting as the twitfilter so we don’t have to go there ourselves.
So .. you’re willing to sacrifice Frank to stay on top of all the “really important twits” (now thats an oxymoron) I see how it is …. F frank right? I mean let him be continously be exposed to teh gay as long as we still recieve the “really important twits”. And what happens to poor Frank after he’s all “twitted out”? Just another blogger to be used and thrown by the side of the internet super highway? He was somebodies child once!
Frank… Im pleading with you, not for me, but for you….. the way to the twit leads to maddness!
You’re right – how selfish of me. But I’m not sure Frank would think “twitted out” is a bad thing. He needs an intervention.
Frank, the first step is to admit you have a problem.
Then watch a Ronald Reagan speech. You’ll feel better and less ghey in no time!
Playing devil’s advocate and in defense of that “Frank” personality who frequently posts here, Sarah and Fred tweet too.
I wonder what Darth Cheney would do with a
tweettwittwattwitter.Wasn’t there a large sized Zombie attack in November say around Election Day? Oh wait those were Obama voters. Sorry my bad.
isn’t Pelosi a zombie?
As a long time advocate and friend of the Zombie Community I take offence to the condescending anti-zombie tone of this post. Zombies are an important yet much maligned and misunderstood segment of our society. Much of this unremitting hatred of zombies is due primarily to the many exploitation movies produced by an uncaring Hollywood elite. An elite, I might add, who’s only goal is to make money no matter how many zombies lose their reputations in the process. While it’s true that some rouge elements in the Zombie Community have been known, on occasion, to eat the brains of living people the majority are peaceful, harmless, and law-abiding. I can assure you the average person has less to fear from the Zombie Community than it does from the Democratic Party, after all have you ever heard of a zombie advocating higher taxes….or cuts in defense? And no zombie in his right mind would advocate closing Gitmo, and bringing terrorists to the US. Yes they walk very slow, aren’t very articulate, and slobber a lot, but this is no reason to call them sick, or exploit them in grade “F” movies. So the next time you meet one of the undead (as they prefer to be called) how about tipping your hat and showing a little respect.
Actually, I like Franks’ one-line blurbs. They’re good reading.
It’s just the whole social aspect of Twitter that causes me to jump start a vomit.
Meh, I guess I’m just too old.
You punk kids get off my lawn.
Not only am I not on Twitter, I do not own a cell phone, I do not have cable TV, an SUV nor do I go to the casino and watch my money fly away.
I’m not a second class citizen, I’m a dinosaur.
Now where are my rocket launchers?
Let me understand this twit thing. Someone has taken the really annoying chatroom stream of consciousness format and made it even worse? This could only happen in America!
Frank the Twitfilter, not a very promising career. Frank the Avenger, Frank the Barbarian, Frank the BlogShark, more in line with IMAO. Heck, I’d even settle for Frank the Zombie. Twitter is Twattle, Rockin’ Robin Tweet Tweet. Gay
Reasons Frank Tweets ……. Gets to sing “My tweeters like a bad river baby, it’s all over town” to his missus ……… Constantly sore thumbs help fight his monkey porn addiction ……. Lost productivity of tweet readers doubles work force so things get done …………No self respecting Ninja would attack a man mid-tweet ……… Good cover for his outbursts of maniacal laughter ………
Frank, you’re not talking “to” us. You’re talking “at” us. That other guy, “Ed” (what-his-name)… Now he bends down to our level talks “to” us. Geeesh.
(Sure, Socratea. Go ahead and give up tea toddling in favor of those “-ine” drinks. Geeesh.)
Why am I saying “Geeesh?” I don’t Twitter.
Twitter is still gay.
In fact, when gay people are feeling too butch, they Twitter.
When fashion designers can’t decide between fuscia or mauve, they Twitter.
When a hairdresser fights with the salon owner and storms out in a hissy fit, you can always find out about it first on Twitter.
When Perez Hilton is feeling like Perez Hilton, he’s Twittering.
When Bawney Fwank is wearing one of his size XXL Frederick’s outfits with his 13DD sequined pumps, he’s almost always Twittering.
Charles Nelson Riley’s last wish was that someday gay people could Twitter.
Between acts at drag bar competitions, the judges Twitter.
When dogs are licking each other’s butts, they’re secretly wishing they could Twitter.
When a militant lesbian buys a new pair of Berkenstocks, she/he’ll usually brag about it on Twitter.
When the husband of a Mary Kay Cosmetics saleswoman’s car breaks down and he has to spend the day driving his wife’s pink Cadillac, he’ll lament about it on Twitter.
Every season of Will & Grace will soon be available for download on Twitter.
Ru Paul is too manly to Twitter.
If the NAMBLA float and the LAMBDA float collided in the middle of the gay pride parade, over 1,000 picture phone photos of the “terrifying” drama would be posted within 2 minutes on Twitter.
If a gay guy was riding a bike while Twittering and his seat came off, he just wouldn’t care.
The first gay dolphin couple ever discovered were named Flipper and Twitter.
…I think you get the idea
I usually don’t comment because I’m well represented by commenters with better wording. Last week, an old friend began twittering to my fb account. He’s driving me BANANAS. “Just got up.” “Got coffee.” “Taking shower, got pretty clean.” “Putting on deodorant.” “Crap! Someone broke into my house.” “Oh, it’s just my old friend.” “She says she’s going to take my treo, but I don’t think she can over power me.” “Wow! I underestimated her fury.”
Socrates,
Try what William Buckley used to make at Christmas parties next time you give a barbeque: 1 quart of milk, 1 quart of rum and 1 quart of ice cream in a blender – guaranteed to make a fun time for all
High School Girls Twitter! I don’t and won’t! It is teh gay! It just sounds teh gay! I think if I even sign up for it I will go teh gay! If any of you have signed up for it you are well on your way to going teh gay! Sorry for the bad news but that is what IMAO is all about! Giving it to you hard and nasty!
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Dats RIGHT! Hard & Nasty is the IMAO way. This is the hardest and nastiest website on the whole web. We make those Aryan Nation prison bloggers look like lil girls, this is the toughest, nastiest most hardcore site IN EXISTENCE! THIS. IS. I.M.A.O.!
And “The FRED” does not twit. Thats some dumas at “The Fred’s” PR firm doing that stuff. We must save “the Frank” from this madness. We must also save his enabler Sarah. But we must be careful, less frank starts banning (like some other bloggers) for having the audacity to disagree.
What? You twittered me to tell me you blogged about updating your Facebook page?