25 Comments

  1. … let the pilot drive this time.
    … buzzed the capital building.
    … kept his nose up (wait, he always does that).
    … opened that package from Justin Beiber and passed it around.
    … renamed the plane Choom One, Dude

  2. To celebrate his 1000th flight aboard Air Force One, President Obama…

    got his little tin wings from the pilot.

    got some extra pudding for dessert at dinner.

    played his 1000th round of golf.

  3. To celebrate his 1000th flight aboard Air Force One, President Obama…

    …visited all 57 states

    …went on vacation

    …bought a new pair of mom jeans

    …had 20″ spinner rims installed

    …had Air Force One painted black on black, renamed it to Obama One, replaced eagle in the Air Force logo with a chicken and replaced the US Flag with his face.

  4. …he sang that Helen Reddy song from the movie Airport to himself the whole flight, just like all the other flights, wearing a nuns habit.

    …did his Dewey Oxburger impression for the thousandth time, then he and Michelle read old speeches of Fidels to each other.

    …replaced the jet contrails with dog entrails.

  5. … had Baghdad Jay tell the press that the flight was free because Zippy used frequent flier miles. The intrepid reporters knew that wasn’t the whole story, and demanded to know what flavor of Jell-O was served on the flight.

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