Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature…
…it’s a ‘slap Mark’ feature.
…an app that will get you face time with your choice of Jared Fogle, Josh Duggar, or Caitlyn.
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature…
…a voter registration button.
…free bacon.
…Ashley Madison.
…the ability to make a sammitch.
…, a “Worst Person of the World” app that immediately attacks the reputation of anyone you choose to unlike or blast for a disliked opinion across all platforms.
. . . leaving the user interface unchanged for more than six weeks at a time.
…more cookies than you can believe.
…yesterday that people are already bored with today.
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature…
for liberals, the two minute hate.
for conservatives, the RINO watch.
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature… which will only be visible to a small portion of the people unless you pay $9.99 to boost your posts with targeted updating.
…endlessly pestering former users (who deleted their account every possible way it could be deleted) with emails about how many people have “posted” on your page that you deleted years ago.
Oh wait. They’ve already been doing that.
…that targets ads to the kernel level of your operating system.
(That’ll beat Microsoft’s Windows 10 to the punch!)
…ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD
…free cookies…
…the ignore anything and everything with the word facebook in it button, it only works once.
…a MySpace module
…a toggle switch to something relevant…
Struggling to maintain user interest, Facebook has added a new feature…
Interactive games of Pin the Mooch’s Tail on a Donkey, Hillary’s Mega Water Displacement Dunking Booth, Is Bernie Sanders Smarter Than a Kindergartner, and an app to create your very own Hawaiian birth certificate.
Struggling to Maintain User Interest, Facebook Has Added New Features…
Explosions! Car chases! Intergalactic space battles of good versus evil!
Oh, wait, that’s what they could do to maintain my interest. Meh.
…that removes duck face lips and adds a shirt to every phone camera photo posted online.
…rates every reader in descending order: Harry Reidish, NAMBLA dude, creepy uncle, nosy neighbor, not as jealous as you wish sister, husband.
It hides all the posts from your actual friends, and fills your timeline with stray pages that are difficult, if not impossible, to block.
It allows no separation between ‘things I’m vaguely interested in” and “people I love.”
It insists on giving you lists of potential new ‘friends,’ but provides no easy way to find your actual friends.
It tracks everything you do and everywhere you go, even if you cancel your account.
O – wait – those are its current features. There are NEW features? They have found a way to improve it? Not possible.