The Illustrated Frank J: The Toughest Democrat Debate Question

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After This, How Can Anyone – Even a Liberal – Take Sanders Seriously?

Even after Paris, Bernie Sanders said at the debate that he still thinks global warming is a bigger threat than terrorism

Yes, because nobody in Paris would’ve died had the temperature been 1.8 degrees cooler.

This Would Actually Be Better Than Obama’s Plan

[High Praise! to After Math]

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Link of the Day: The Day I Liked France

[High Praise! to Mental Floss]

How France Responded to 9/11

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

The Other Least Popular Thing Democrats Do

Rock bottom ratings for the Democrats – only 8.5 million people watched their debate.

Maybe they could Republican it up a bit and invite George Soros on stage to rant, rave, and wear a dead squirrel on his head.

Climate Change is More Deadly Than Terrorism

AP – Antarctica – The nude, frozen corpses of hundreds of environmental activists were found earlier this morning by the crew of an ice breaking ship near Antarctica. Hundreds of other severely frostbitten survivors huddled together for warmth, and a scant few were being noshed upon by the cuddly polar bears they had tried to befriend.

“We don’t understand what went wrong,” explained one of the survivors, once his lips had sufficiently thawed. “When we planned our nude climate change protest, we expected that the ice caps would have receded by now. The GCM models told us that the globe would be dangerously warm long ago. Of course, the thermometers all said it was colder than Ted Cruz’s heart out there, but we assumed the thermometers were all broken. I mean, science, right? There were graphs and stuff? Al Gore had to stand on a ladder. It was supposed to be a nude romp in the newly tropic Antarctic, right? What went wrong? Yeah, it looked all icy and stuff, but we assumed that it was all just fine, white sand. I mean, didn’t the ice all melt already? What else could it be? When the drugs all wore off and we realized how cold it felt, we began flatulating and exhaling like crazy, but the greenhouse gases didn’t warm us. They didn’t warm us! Gaia, why hast though forsaken us?”

When asked to comment on the tragedy, President Obama had this to say. “This just vindicates what I have been saying all along. Climate change is a more dire threat to the world than terrorism. Here we have just one example when climate change models killed more democratic voters in a single attack than ISIS .”

Obama Warned Us – Climate Support

Eighty-one companies support a global agreement to #ActOnClimate: http://ofa.bo/j9QO

@BarackObama

“In other news, I’ll be handing out 81 new Obamacare exemptions today.”

Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Is Handing Out Medals. Who’ll Get the Next One and For What?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama is handing out medals. Who’ll get the next one and for what?

MST3K Question of the Day: Updating the Classic

mst3kPitchWe all know that Mystery Science Theater 3000 will be returning soon. And, if you’re like me, you’d just be happy with more of the same. That is, a guy in space being shown bad movies and him watching them with his two robot friends while making fun of the movie.

Simple. Well, sort of. Except for all of the shooting the janitor into space and him building robots and … okay, it’s not simple. But, it’s just a show, you should really just relax.

Remembering, though, that the show was canceled back in the day — twice, in fact — we want the show to stick around for a while. As long as it’s funny, at least.

But, you know kids these days. Things can’t be like they used to be. We have to update things to get the kids’ attention. And, TV is no different.

Which brings us to our MST3K Question of the Day: What changes to MST3K are needed to make it appealing to today’s TV viewer?

This Is Why They Call Him President Punctuality

President Obama walked in late Sunday on a moment of silence being held by world leaders in Turkey to honor the victims of Friday’s terrorist attacks in Paris.

Huh. Maybe someone should’ve told him it was a tee time.