We all know that Mystery Science Theater 3000 will be returning soon. And, if you’re like me, you’d just be happy with more of the same. That is, a guy in space being shown bad movies and him watching them with his two robot friends while making fun of the movie.
Simple. Well, sort of. Except for all of the shooting the janitor into space and him building robots and … okay, it’s not simple. But, it’s just a show, you should really just relax.
Remembering, though, that the show was canceled back in the day — twice, in fact — we want the show to stick around for a while. As long as it’s funny, at least.
But, you know kids these days. Things can’t be like they used to be. We have to update things to get the kids’ attention. And, TV is no different.
Which brings us to our MST3K Question of the Day: What changes to MST3K are needed to make it appealing to today’s TV viewer?
Make sure one robot is transgender and one is a minority.
the movies shown would have to be no longer than a YouTube video.
*sigh*
The crew (or whomever is being forced to watch movies) must be relentlessly miserable. After all, you can’t be both “oppressed by the man” and “happy” simultaneously, can you?
Their first movie should be “Battleship Potemkin”, followed a week later with “Storm Over Asia”!
And if they make the shorts all from Soviet-era agit-prop, so much the better!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battleship_Potemkin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storm_Over_Asia
All their irony should be delivered ironically.
But wasn’t Crow already transgender?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuRfeotmnxg&t=76m52s
Have them watch C-Span
To ensure a two hour episode the GOP debate coordinators should be in charge. And Donald Trump should play the new Tom Servo because he’s HUGE!
I think both bots were already transgender. In a “Space Mutiny” host segment, Crow insisted he was a Bellerian, and in (I think) “Riding with Death” didn’t Tom want his CB-radio handle to be something like “The Delta Lady”?
They should absolutely HATE Star Wars.
No, I mean, like, if you mention it, they puke right on the screen.
…the movies should be pr0n.
…instead of movies they should do presidential debates.
…foreign movies!
Lots of tweeting, facebooking and phone texting during the program. That’ll keep all the ADD and ADHD kids glued to the screen while they twitch endlessly.
…they should do Incubus with commentary in Esperanto with Shatner Cadence to compliment the movie.
They should have a guest viewer every week.
Bewbs!
Lens flares!
Bloom!
Explosions!
Everything is pink. Everything. Also tons of those ribbons.
At least one wacko liberal message every episode.
More pink.
Lots and lots of product placement throughout.
Pink explosions!
The show format itself is fine just the way it is.
Modern VIEWERS, on the other hand….
Watched one the other day where they made a guy married to guy joke. I had to explain to my daughter how that wasn’t a thing when they made the show, so it was funny then.