Feel the electricity in the air? It could only mean one thing: time for a new batch of bloggers to compete!
Here is Group D! (now with less formatting so this post doesn’t take me an hour to put together)
Meet the Bloggers
1. Site Name: Happy Furry Puppy Story Time
2. Preferred Name: Norbizness
3. Length of Blogging: Since May 25, 2003
4. Brief Site Description: A steaming load of
appeasenik tripe.
5a. Praise Frank: He sells me weed ‘at cost’. He doesn’t smell like dog when he gets wet. He lends me small firearms so that my wait at the Post Office can
be cut in half.
5b. Favorite Frank Post: The December 2002 chestnut “If They’re Not Evil, Then Why Are They Foreign?”
6. Favorite Movie: Toss-up between Renoir’s “The Grand Illusion” and Swayze’s “Roadhouse”
7. Simpsons Character: Johnny Cash as Homer’s spirit guide
My Blog
By Susie
My Blog is called Practical Penumbra.
It is by Susie because that is my name and I like my name.
My Blog is 3 months old, and soon it will be able to roll over by itself. [Ed. I took developmental psychology in college, so I get that joke.]
My blog is very pretty. It would be prettier but all my crayons melted into blurple.
I write things in my blog. Sometimes I mention Frank, because he is very funny.
Sometimes I talk about school and sometimes I talk about where I work. School is not fun. 🙁 Work is sometimes fun. 🙂
Usually I just read my friends’ blogs and link to them.
I like Frank VERY much. He is VERY funny. He is also best friends with lots of
cool people like Buck the Marine and the President, and he tells us about them.
That is very interesting. The best story he told was about Belgium getting
nuked. (It wasn’t in the news, though, so I think the government covered it up.
They do that.) [Ed. Actually, they missed if you remember correctly]
Today my favorite movie is “1776“. The men all sing and wear funny clothes. It makes me laugh. (But not as much as Frank does).
I like the Simpsons very much. Usually I feel like Lisa, but today I feel like Apu. The Simpsons makes me laugh. (But not as much as Frank does).
The End
What is the name of your site?
Over The Edge, a subsidiary of ColoradoPsycho.com.
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Bloodthirsty Warmonger. I take an epithet that most Idiotarians are likely to hurl at me and turn it into a badge of pride.
*How long have you been blogging?
Since 18 February 2003
*Give a brief description of your site.
News and opinions, mainly on the wacky world of human behavior. “Compassionate conservatism” is more than a political catch phrase on this site, which has been declared a troll-free zone.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
I have no life outside of IMAO! When I grow up, I want my site to become a cheap imitation of his. Frank’s blog site is the only one where I absolutely cannot have anything to eat or drink before visiting. At the risk of sounding sadistic, the “In My World” scene where he describes Rummy educating a reporter on the difference between Vietnam and other wars (30 June 2003) gives me violent fantasies.
*What’s your favorite movie? It’s a Wonderful Life.
*Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Mr. Ned Flanders, of course. I always look for the good in people, am an incurable optimist most of the time, have been known to teach Sunday School, and am probably the first person in this contest to name It’s a Wonderful Life as his favorite movie.
What is the name of your site – the voodoo lounge
What is your preferred name as a blogger – dr.dna
How long have you been blogging – about 6 months
Give a brief description of your site – war, politics & whatever else catches my eye
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post – All Hail. That brief enough for you? Favourite bits are Frank Answers and Know Thy Enemy
What’s your favorite movie – Lots, but the first that come to mind are Braveheart & Monty Python movies
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with – Homer, because even though I have a job, sometimes it seems like I always have something better to do than go to work.
*What is the name of your site?
Curiosity
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Elliot or curi
*How long have you been blogging?
6 months
*Give a brief description of your site.
I write in-jokes, hardcore philosophy, and random stuff. Occasionally. Read at your own risk.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
The jokes are terrific, and plenty to qualify Frank as brilliant, but the post that most stands out is this one: Giving Thanks. I very much appreciate that Frank is Good as well as funny.
*What’s your favorite movie?
Cruel Intentions
*Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Lisa, for the isolated intellectual thing, *not the tree-hugging bit.
*What is the name of your site?
Little Miss Attila
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Attila Girl
*How long have you been blogging?
Since this past spring.
*Give a brief description of your site.
Beautifully crafted essays, sardonic jokes, and belated teenage angst.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
Frank’s a cute, wonderful kid. I’m allowed to say that, since I’m 41. It would have to be your declaration of war on Instapundit. [Ed. Oh, and the plans I have for him… but I must wait for the right time to strike…]
* What’s your favorite movie?
Aliens.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Lisa.
For the first time, everyone in the group responded. Yay Group D!
Here are their responses to the question in random order (revealing who wrote which is means for disqualification):
QUESTION: In 200 words or less, describe the best way to kill a
Communist.
ANSWER 1: The best way to kill a commie depends on one’s own personal idiom. There are those who prefer weapons grade plutonium in a puppie smoothie, and others who insist that a katana and a Colt 1991 will do. I, however, am of the school that believes the old tried-and-true remedies work best: capitalism (and lots of it!).
ANSWER 2: Almost anything can be justified, as long as you have a good recipe for it. The Japanese in me wanted to turn him into sushi — then I came to my senses, realizing that you need the freshest ingredients for that. As I plunged into the nefarious depths, my thoughts turned to the fine art of jungle warfare. We could let him out into the jungle with a five-minute head start, pursued by Buck the Marine, who’s been given the order to shoot him on sight, like a mad dog.! But before that happens, he could be done in by a variety of booby traps. My favorite method of turning him into hamburger would be the Bouncing Betty, the mine with the spring device that causes a bomb to explode at chest level. Of course there will be cameras to record the expression of surprise on his face in his last second of life. Muh ha ha ha!
ANSWER 3: Drop him in a pit with monkeys. Tell the monkeys he’s a Jew (monkeys are anti-semitic).
ANSWER 4: Put a bomb in Yao Ming’s ribcage during a Chinese National Team basketball exhibition game in Beijing. .
ANSWER 5: Get an Islamic suicide terrorist to blow up near him. Two birds with one stone.
ANSWER 6: Wouldn’t that depend on the range?–I could see a variety of firearms as being really useful for this project. But please do not forget poison, which creates a lot of pain. If you can get close to the communist in question, I would recommend working poison into their food. Don’t mess around with ice picks; that’s silly.
Many good answers, but only one can be declared the best answer.
PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!
POLL CLOSED
Poll closes 24 hours after this post.
And now next round of questions for Group E!
GROUP E QUESTIONS:
What is the name of your site?
What is your preferred name as a blogger?
How long have you been blogging?
Give a brief description of your site.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
What’s your favorite movie?
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
SHORT ANSWER QUESTION: Everyone knows my solution to random ninja attacks. In 200 words or less, describe your own solution. Remember, while people hate getting randomly attacked by ninjas, they also hate high taxes, so try and keep your solutions cheap.
Before I had taken everyone’s answers to their questions and formatted them the same, but now I’m just going to post them as you give them to me (I especially liked Susie’s cute little way of doing hers). So e-mail me your answers ready for cut and paste. You have 24 hours from the time of this post to mail them in. Godspeed.