Trump has been baited into treating soccer as if it’s a real sport.

I remember trying to watch soccer when South Africa was hosting the World Cup and they had those vuvuzelas buzzing constantly over the slow-paced spectacle and they were all like “We enjoy this!” Then it became clear: Soccer is just a joke the rest of the world plays on the U.S.
Yes, the whole world is like “Soccer is the greatest! We all love it!” and then they laugh and laugh every time they trick an American into watching it. We keep falling for it. That’s why the World Cup is every four years–give us enough time to forget last time we fell for it.

What are they going to ask Mueller?
“So what did your report say?”

Things sound horrible, but I can’t trust anyone who is telling me it’s horrible, so maybe it’s not as bad as it seems.

I don’t care who is president as long as the majority of Americans are clear he or she is a dishonest idiot who shouldn’t be trusted.

Bernie Sanders has not promised to refrain from burning down the whole convention with his psychic powers if pigs blood is dumped on him.

I think the only question for me with the Democratic primary is will the eventual winner be so terrible as to actually get me to vote for Trump.

I don’t really get the whole citizenship question thing.

The citizenship question seems like voter id in that a small, vocal group is like “This is the most racist thing ever!” and most Americans are like “That isn’t already a requirement?”

When there’s a good quote I want to use in a speech, I always google it to make sure it wasn’t first said by Adolf Hitler.

The far left keep demonstrating they’re far more hateful than their targets. And the thing is, no one is afraid the KKK are somehow going to seize power again, but they are afraid the far-left might manage it.

I don’t know how much you’d have to pay me to watch one of these primary debates. I might watch the general elections ones considering whoever the Dem nominee is. The ones between Trump and Hillary were entertaining.

To use a reference all of American can get, The Office, the Democratic debates is like a debate of a bunch of Michaels and Dwights with a couple Kevins thrown in and maybe a Toby (though he doesn’t stand a chance).
Man, I would vote for a Stanley. “Keep cool with Stanley.”

If after the debate, Kamala Harris says “Hey, would you all like to go score some drugs together,” don’t fall for it. She’s a narc.

They’re all idiots, so the goal should be to elect the one most likely to do the least amount of damage. I think hands down that’s Yang.

BTW, I’m still willing to be elected president if you want. On day one, I’ll find a nice quiet place in the White House and get to work on my novels. If you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone.

So is any Democratic candidate going to be honest enough to say “Let’s have open borders!” or are they all just going to weasel argue for that?

If I was a super villain who wanted to starve billions, I’d lobby to make food a “right” and have government take over food production.

I’m hearing rumors Swalwell has surged to 0.2%

Marvel needs to space their movies better. There was no way to see Captain Marvel on video before seeing Endgame in the theaters and now spoiler filled Spider-Man: Far from Home is out before Endgame is on video.
(there was no way for my wife and I to see Endgame in the theater with a newborn so still waiting for video)

That Yesterday movie looks neat, but the universe I’d do best in would be one where no one has ever heard of The Simpsons. I’d be the funniest person ever. Though I assume that story would end with me being murdered by John Swartzwelder.

Billboard I just saw:
California too late.
Texas still great.
Vote Republican.

The left reduced the term racist to mean “someone I disagree with” and they’re quickly doing the same for white supremacist and white nationalist.

I tried watching that Neo Genesis Evangelical on Netflix, but it was a cartoon.

flammable : inflammable :: fascist : antifascist

Just seems like so much work to be garbage people like the Charlotteville nazis or the antifa. Not only do I not want to be a horrible person, but I’d also rather stay home.
Are all the worst people in the world extroverts?

There are lots of ways to be as morally awful as a white supremacist, and there’s no reason for the far left to explore them all.

If I were president and met with Kim Jong Un, I’d probably strangle him. I’d bet the press would have a field day with that one, but I’d have a good explanation: “He was within strangling range.”
Actually, if I were president, it would probably be a good idea to keep me away from all foreign leaders. I don’t care for them. As the leader of the U.S. government, I almost wouldn’t like myself (except I’m pretty awesome).

So has anyone confirmed that Nike pulled an American flag show because Colin Kaepernick complained? It sounds like satire.
And I thought Kaepernick’s whole schtick was that he was against police injustice or something but wasn’t against the U.S.?

I’m still skeptical of this whole thing. It still sounds like something some right-wing rag made up. “Kaepernick hates America so he made Nike stop selling the shoe.”

If we don’t win this ladies European kicky ball challenge, will we be able to celebrate our country on the 4th?