Obama Proposes Political Dissent Cap & Trade Program
WASHINGTON (AP) – Citing “criticism of elected officials” as the major cause of “approval change”, President Barack Obama today announced a bold initiative to create a “political dissent cap & trade program” to minimize dangerous fluctuations in public opinion.
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“Over the past two months,” said Obama, “scientists have documented a disturbing and threatening change in the approval ratings of America’s elected leaders. Their research has determined that this change is unquestionably the result of human activity, and that if left unchecked, the consequences will be disastrous. The good news is that this trend is not irreversible, and this administration will take swift, certain steps to combat the threat of approval change.”
The President noted that, except for a small fringe group of “approval deniers”, all reputable scientists agree that political dissent is the leading cause of approval change, and that limiting political dissent will solve the problem. Obama is proposing a “cap & trade” program that will ensure that no one uses more than their fair share of publicly-uttered discordant opinions.
“We have a political dissent crisis in this country,” said Obama. “Now is the time to set limits and bring dissent back down to safe, stable, 2008 levels. Every citizen will be allowed a certain amount of dissent, and those that don’t use it can sell it to others who want it. Those who exceed their limits will be fined, with that money going towards funding opinion-neutral information sources such as CNN, NPR, and Air America.”
“Frankly,” concluded Obama “I expect the fines from hateful, racist, Republican Party leader Rush Limbaugh to fund this program for decades.”
Regarding the proposed program, Rush Limbaugh issued only a brief statement: “I hope he fails”.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs later responded to this statement by saying “Ka-CHING!”.
(40 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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March 13th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
This would be funny if I were sure that it weren’t true. Unfortunately, I’m not. I hope “We Surround Them” is good and uplifting like Glenn promises. I need something positive right now. Punching bag + pictures of various Demoncrats taped to it could help.
March 13th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Not too loud – Chavez will hear you. Or maybe he already has.
I heard someone mention Oliver Stone is planning to do a movie on how good a leader Chavez is – Maybe this will finally wave the freak flag high enough that middle-leftists start dismissing him.
March 13th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Why is this catergorized under newsish fakery? I could honestly see something very close to this being a front-page story in a couple weeks.
March 13th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
After he muffed the Oath, didn’t Obama say something to the effect of “those who quite the voice of dissent are on the wrong side of history”? I know this is (allegedly) Newish Fakery, but they are making efforts to silence the opposition.
March 13th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
*sigh*
I remember waaaay back, in the first eight years of the 21st century, when “dissent was the highest form of patriotism”. Now it’s just seditious.
I ask you, what has become of us?
*sigh*
March 13th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I have not problem with “dissent cap and trade.”
Put a cap up his ass and trade him.
March 13th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Heh heh. I just read that caption ‘neath the photo, Harvey. Good one!
March 13th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Is there any credit for storing vast quantities of lead that otherwise could contaminate the mouths of Marxist agitators?
How will the rules affect me when my trigger finger is doing the talkin’?
March 13th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Your right Alan.
Though I think that dissent and patriotism being equated, by the likes of Hillary, is a bogus premise. If one’s dissent is based on a socialistic/communistic philosophy that seeks to tear down America, how is that patriotic? Socialism and communism do not have nationalism as their end goal, and God knows how libtards hate “flag wavers”.
Glenn Beck made an excellent distinction by pointing out that moonbat protests are not unamerican, but they are anti-American. We must safeguard everyone’s right to speak freely, and especially to disagree with the government, regardless of which party is in power.
Political correctness is unamerican and must be resisted, mocked, ridiculed and disobeyed at every turn!
March 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
By the way, will illegal aliens now be conducting the political dissent “that Americans won’t do”???
March 13th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
By the way, will illegal aliens now be conducting the political dissent “that Americans
won’tare not allowed to do”???Fixed that for ya #10.
March 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
#12
You’re right, that’s better.
March 13th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
What about role playing? Did Axelrod, Rahm, or Obama have anything to say about Astroturfing credits or ACORN exemptions?
March 13th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
When do we outsource “dissent” to India?
March 13th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Balance the budget, audit a Democrat…….great bumper sticker I saw, thought I’d share it.
March 13th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Not but utter awesomeness. Wish I’d thought of it, dammit.
March 13th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Just saw that in South Africa they are practicing “Corrective Rape” to cure Lesbianism… Possibility that Bill Clinton was just trying to heal Juanita?
March 13th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Senator john mccain, of course, immediate endorsed the proposal as a logical and necessary follow-on to mccain-feingold.
March 13th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Bug Alert!
When I clicked on comments on the above “Smarty Bill Clinton” post, I was shown that @#$%&
‘page not found, unknown error – 1′ message again.
March 14th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Civil Liberties must be civil, after all.
Or there is no liberty.
Remember the eight years of media approval, delight,
and support that President Bush enjoyed.
Yes, remember…
The Constitution is not a static document,
why should America’s history be static?
We can remake the history of this nation.
Oh ,yes.
We
Can.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Dissent——- My American flag ( the beloved stars and stripes ) no longer flies above my home. I am replacing it with a Gadsden flag. The beautiful stars and stripes will only fly on “special OBAMA moments” when he is raping this country, I’ll fly the American flag UPSIDE down!!!! This would be a GREAT time for a Hollywood moment, Something like —space aliens show up and use disintegration rays on Washington DC therefor ridding us of the plague that is our legislature
March 14th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
damnit you scared the hell out of me! i ended up skipping to the end, to make sure you werent pulling our legs, luckily, you were.
sadly, you soon may not be
March 16th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Only in Jon Stewarts gayly decorated world would this work.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
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