Random Thoughts
If I had a time machine, I could finally answer the eternal question of who would win in a fist fight between Mark Twain and Charles Dickens.
If scientists could just genetically combine a ninja with a pirate, we’d have a unstoppable super soldier!
New idea for Republicans: Physically threaten voters. If ideas aren’t popular, at least make them large and intimidating.
Little Known Fact: Cats pee in your mouth while you sleep.
Know what would be neat? An animal like an anteater but instead it eats squirrels. A squirreleater.
Where do people get this idea Jesus wasn’t judgmental? That’s his job: to judge everybody. He’s the most judgmental person ever.
I’m confused; is the Bristol Palin story a failure of abstinence or a failure of sex ed?
(23 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)
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May 7th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Amen Frank. People who don’t read their Bible say all types of silly things. Just make up things as they go along. They want Santa not Jesus…oh wait Santa has a “Naughty and Nice” list.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Until they make a squirrel eater, I will just have to keep training my lemur to handle a .22 rifle. (Note lemurs are not monkeys, so it is okay to give them guns)
May 7th, 2009 at 9:25 am
They already exist – they’re called hillbillies.
A sawbuck on Twain.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Twain would kick Dickens’ ass very soundly, in fact he did, literarily speaking.
Pirates were hippies, and still are. There is nothing more dangerous than a U. S. Marine with his rifle.
Threatening voters is a democrat tactic. Educating voters is what republicans do.
Don’t let cats in your sleeping area.
Squirrels are harmless, liberals need to be eaten.
Christianity is self sacrifice, deal with it.
Bristol? A teen age male knows no abstinence, his pecker gets hard when the wind blows, SHE should have used better judgement.
If a gay man abuses his male partner is he guilty of a hate crime?
Why do lesbiens use phalic devices, isn’t that a contridiction of terms?
May 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am
if you had a time machine you could answer the question of: Is Obama really a citizen of the USA? Also what if scientist added viking DNA to the ninja pirate mix?
May 7th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Just make sure it is not Somali pirate DNA. Those guys can’t seem to keep their heads together during a simple hostage negotiation.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Pshh, you’re first question is dumb because Ayn Rand would step in and kick both their asses.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:04 am
The Brisol Palin story is one of obvious Republican double standards. Republicans being the party that preaches morals and all and then GASP, a Republican candidate’s child has a baby out of wedlock it is something that must be discussed daily by every major news outlet (print, radio and TV) to show the obvious lying cheating dirty filthy rotten deviant inbreeding homophobic war-loving black-person-hating Republicans for who they really are…
May 7th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Mark Twain would win. When Dickens showed up for the fight, Twain would be all “Twain? Whose that? My name’s Samuel Clemens.” Dickens would, of course, apologize for the mistake, and when he turned to leave, Twain would nail him in the back of the head with a tree branch or something.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Bah! “Who’s”, not “Whose”. It’s too close too lunch time…
May 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am
The Bristol Palin story is nothing more than a silly hormonal teenager doing what her parents told her not to do, because “it won’t happen to me.”
[sarc]Because ALL teenagers ALWAYS do EVERYTHING their parent(s) tell them to do.
And of course Bristol Palin is the ONLY silly teenager who EVER got pregnant.[/sarc]
Other than that, the teen-mother grew up fast (which is not necessarily a bad thing), and the family is practicing its pro-life principles by taking responsibility for the mother and child, using their own money and resources rather than that of the taxpayers, and by not punishing the baby for the action of its parents.
Other than that, this wouldn’t even be a news story but since the family is Christian, pro-life, Conservative, and Republican, “family privacy” is not granted to them by the media like is done for the moonbat Hollywood celebs and Washingtonians. The only hypocrites here are the Liberal media.
May 7th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
“If I had a time machine, I could finally answer the eternal question of who would win in a fist fight between Mark Twain and Charles Dickens.”
Couldn’t the two of them just sit down, in a civilized manner, and discuss their feelings openly…then sue each other?
May 7th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Son of Bob. Nope. They grew up in a more civilized time were popping off got you a haymaker to the jaw. And I’ve got a Hunski on Twain.
May 7th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
LOL #11 + #12.
I have no random thoughts today. All of mine are “directed.” I don’t know if that’s good or bad – but I do enjoy reading everyone else’s.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
They tried that once. The resulting child was raised in a lab until he was 5, when he killed all the guards and escaped by punching through a brick wall. He was later elected to the United States Senate and started going by the name “Fred Thompson”.
May 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Pssh, obviously Mark Twain. He could even beat your pirate-ninja creature.
May 7th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
I think it was a failure of Bristol to follow what her parents said. And she’s taking responsibility, so good for her.
I think those who think Jesus isn’t judgmental have obviously never read the Bible or met Him. Losers.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
“If I had a time machine, I could finally answer the eternal question of who would win in a fist fight between Mark Twain and Charles Dickens.”
Mark Twain of course. Charles Dickens was a bitter, whiny little b*tch and Mark Twain was a feisty riverboat man which is practically as good as a pirate. Hands down, no contest.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Well I gotta vote Twain on this one…although I know nothing about Dickens from a behavorial perspective. But as was already stated Twain was a river boat pilot with a major port of call being NawLeans in its heyday. Not a place for the feint of heart.
May 8th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Great post. BTW, I am a ninja-pirate.
Jesus is judgmental. Although He judges sin, He offers mercy to all who will accept it.
John 8:5-11
May 12th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
It’s OK to be judgemental when you’re right.
Jesus is perfect, and therefore perfectly able to judge.
Anyone else? Not so much.
I agree with #20 about the offer of mercy – but remember,
it’s a Limited Time Offer – Act Now!