The ban on guns in national parks was lifted this week, so know what that means? Yeah, I’m heading to Yellowstone and am going to shoot wildlife in the face. I’ll be like, “Don’t look at me like that, moose!” BANG! BANG! “Who do you think you are, squirrel?” BANG! BANG! And if anyone objects, I’ll shoot them too. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it because it’s all completely legal!
I can’t be the only one who, any time he has a gun, just can’t resist the urge to go on a killing spree. That’s what they have to spend the most time teaching cops: Don’t start randomly killing people and animals just because you have a gun. If you get angry, just shoot a mailbox instead. Of course, I live in a right-to-carry state, so we’re all pretty used to everyone just pulling out guns and shooting each other.
Wait, is there anyone left for me to mock with this? We’ve pretty much won the gun issue, haven’t we? I mean, this bill was actually signed by President Obama.