The left is clamoring for “filibuster reform” — to make it so that only 51 votes are needed in the Senate to pass anything. What depraved individual wants to make it easier for the government to do stuff? The government doing stuff is expensive and hurts freedom, so we should all be trying to make sure it barely ever does anything. Still, there are people out there that hate humanity and want the government constantly doing stuff and spending our money while pushing us around. They must be foiled.
Republicans should respond with some ideas to get even less stuff passed. Here are my suggestions:
* Anything that expands government needs a two-thirds supermajority.
* Bills should have a one year waiting period during which we think long and hard about whether we really need it or not.
* To decide whether a bill is Constitutional, member of Congress will need to role play as the Founding Fathers and have them debate the bill.
* Any new bill must be read on the floor in its entirety. Since there is no official language in the U.S., it must also be read in any language people might possibly use in America.
* To show that it’s serious, any new bill must be presented along with a member of Congress’s pinky finger.
* Any bill can be blocked by a challenge to a riddle contest.
* To make sure people are voting for the bill they think they’re voting for, each Congressman must count the number of times the letter ‘e’ appears in the bill and present that number with his yes vote. The vote will only count if the number is correct.
You forgot one. Each bill must be written by hand, by a sitting member of congress, in that fancy style used by Thomas Jefferson, and must be written on that expensive paper made from sheep skin, with a fountain pen, made from an ostrich feather. Pen, feather, ink, and paper must be bought with the congressman’s own personal money, along with a copy of his bank statement showing that such payment was made with personal funds, to be placed in public record.
We have too many laws already. Any new bill must include the repeal of at least 2 bills already on the books.
Each vote from the members must be submitted in writing via USPS certified mail.
UPS, Fedex, or any other private courier service will not be allowed.
Nice, but I think you’re getting soft, Frank:
* Anything that expands government needs a five-fourths supermajority.
* Bills should have a one year waiting period during which we think long and hard about whether we really need it or not and during which no other bills may be introduced.
* To decide whether a bill is Constitutional, member of Congress will need to role play as the Founding Fathers and have them debate the bill.
* Any new bill must be read on the floor in its entirety. Since there is no official language in the U.S., it must also be read in any language people might possibly use in America by the member of Congress who submitted it, without the use of a linguist.
* To show that it’s serious, any new bill must be presented along with a member of Congress’s pinky finger and a signed waiver foregoing the member’s salary for the remainder of that term.
* Any bill can be blocked by a challenge to a riddle contest.
* To make sure people are voting for the bill they think they’re voting for, each Congressman must count the number of times the letter ‘e’ appears in the bill and present that number with his yes vote. The vote will only count if the number is correct. Each incorrect number will count as a no.
* If a bill passes and causes an increase in taxes or enacts a new regulatory burden on business, then for the first year it will apply only the states that had at least one congressperson who voted for it.
* Any tax law may be repealed if a Representative tosses three white stones to the floor and, after each toss, says “I repeal thee!”
* In order to slow down Congress, Representatives shall be granted the ability to bash each other over the head with a heavy hickory walking stick and curse each other as “Damned charlatans” and other such names.
I have saying,
Get a crowbar and use it on something, that will teach you how government works.
I didn’t think you were serious about running for RNC chair, but I have to admit I’m sold.
To prove they understand each bill backwards and forwards, each Congresscritter must read aloud, in the presence of at least 2 witnesses (prisoners from the nearest jail would be useful for this) the entire bill forward AND backward. If that doesn’t slow ’em down, nothing will.
BTW-DamnCat has a DamnFine idea, there.
Each new bill will be finalized by a duel! One Republican and one Democrat will stand back to back with a dueling pistol, step off 10 paces and turn and fire! It shall be legal for the Republican to turn and fire whenever he wants since (we won) and the Democrat has to step off all 10 paces. RINO’s of course will go the whole 10. Conservatives will step off 1 or 2 and will turn and blast out the back of the Democrats empty skull and will then go Muwahahahah! If the Democrat wins, the bill will go back for reconsideration and probably another duel. If the Republican wins, the bill is passed! If no duel is fought, no bill is passed!
To make sure people are voting for the bill they think they’re voting for, each Congressman must count the number of times the letter ‘e’ appears in the bill and present that number with his yes vote. The vote will only count if the number is correct.
Unless of course it is an alaskan, then the intent to count things will also count, because some commie judge will not obey the law.
For any law that is not specifically covered in the constitution, a marxist-commie-democrat must be sacrificed to the people.
All marxist-commie-democrats must bathe before entering the capitol. This will prevent most of them from ever voting on anything, thus not raising taxes.
I’d add an additional rule. Before submission of any new bill, every sponsor must write out and submit the bill in handwriting. Aides may not assist.
Also, I’d append these words to any bill:
Any regulatory agency exceeding the intent of this bill shall have its chief secretary person punched in the nose, musketed to the junk, tarred, feathered and placed in stocks until such objectionable regulations are removed.
Blast. Sorry, Mr. M. I posted mine before I read yours. I should have read the comments before posting, but you and are definitely onto something.
Any new bill must cite exactly which bill that came before it created the problem in the first place that the new bill is claiming it will fix.
Burmashave is the winner !!!
I say that any bill expanding the role of government needs 110% approval.
I would amend this from “states” to “districts.” I’m sure it would turn a lot of blue districts deep blue, and a lot of purple districts bright red. In fact, looking at the average county map of the U.S. by party voted for, I bet it wouldn’t be long before there were just a few pinpoints of leech blue in a sea of patriot red.
In addition, I would require all bills to be written as cryptograms, which each congresscritter would have to solve on their own, before being allowed to vore for it.
Or maybe a scavenger hunt. Hide portions of the bill all over Washington, and only the parts that can be found get included in the fibal draft.
I read this blog for the sake of LOL’ing, and yet so many of these ideas seriously sound so good. Bills must be read out loud before passing? Bills must be personally handwritten by a member of Congress? Even just ONE of those would immediately fix so much of the big-government problem. I don’t think any leftist would have had the patience to personally write out the mammoth healthcare takeover bill.
Also, from DamnCat, We have too many laws already. Any new bill must include the repeal of at least 2 bills already on the books.
Didn’t some other country that got sick of excessive bureaucracy do EXACTLY the same thing, and find that it was a really popular move? I thought I heard of that happening on some third-world continent, like Europe or something. Either way, another seriously good idea.
wasn’t it just a couple of years ago that the Democrats wanted exactly the OPPOSITE of making filibusters harder to break? Like when they held the majority and were incensed that a bunch of crazy Republicans wanted to block their ability to just do whatever they wanted? Don’t these people understand that every congress doesn’t exist in a vacuum and that the balances that were put in place were designed to allow reasonable legislation to pass while protecting the ability of the minority party (of which both parties are members from time to time) to block abject craziness? You can’t just constantly change keep moving the goalpost depending on where you are in the field.
It’s like eating spicy food. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but eventually it’s going to burn your ass.
Ideas for slowing government down:
1) Legislators can no longer travel in jets. They must travel everywhere in an electric car.
2) Their electric cars can only have square wheels.
3) All legislation must be typed on an iPhone with auto-correction enabled.
4) Legislative votes are cast through an 800 number with an extensive menu system that leads to overseas technical support.
5) Congessional meals are delivered in clamshell packaging.
6) Label the doors to both chambers “Exit Only” and “Please Use Other Door”.
The reading aloud and hand written Ideas are good but your missing two. When the bill is being read aloud only those that are present for the entire reading may vote in favor of the bill(though they may vote opposed). Also so the bill must be read from the hand written version in one sitting.
To show that it’s serious, any new bill must be presented along with a member of Congress’s pinky finger…. A fair idea, but you do realize it can only be accomplished twice, after that it’s back to business as usual.
In that, case, zzyzx, I propose that the presenting Congressman be required to present BOTH pinky fingers. After which, he’s out of pinky fingers, and therefore he’s done for life. No more bills from him. Evah.
Exception: a Congressman presenting a bill to REPEAL a law? He gets to pick someone from the other side of the aisle and take their pinky fingers. As souvenirs.
Any bill can be blocked by a challenge to a riddle contest.
A riddle contest? That’s teh ghey (please correct the spelling; I attended Catholic schools from 1958 to 1972, so all that I know is what the dictionary says). Trial by combat, using maces, is more like it!
Pleeease, no more riddles!
#22 Excellent suggestions. Read in one sitting from the handwritten version and no one votes unless they sit through it all. If they fall asleep during the reading they shall be barred from voting.
We could get a few pointers on parliamentary procedure from the Taiwanese legislature.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ-hNVfTZqw&feature=related
“How did things go at work today, honey?”
“Oh, you know, ‘same old, same old…'”.
“The left is clamoring for “filibuster reform” — to make it so that only 51 votes are needed in the Senate to pass anything. What depraved individual wants to make it easier for the government to do stuff?”
Filibusters are for jerks. Why wouldn’t you like your government to be more efficient?
But I actually like a couple of your ideas:
* Bills should have a one year waiting period during which we think long and hard about whether we really need it or not.
* Any new bill must be read on the floor in its entirety. Since there is no official language in the U.S., it must also be read in any language people might possibly use in America. -I think English and Spanish would do.