Straight Line of the Day: Huge Post-Election Stock Market Plunge. Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…
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November 12th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
. . . blames it on the problems that he inherited from Bush, of course.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Blames it on Bush . . . no wait, that excuse is getting old even for him.
He goes golfing. . . no, been there and done that too.
Announces that the country is the subject of a merger battle with the US destined to become a wholly owned subsidary of another country. Leading contenders are Cuba and Venezuela, due to their similar economic policies, China since they hold so much of the debt the deal would be self-financing, and Canada because they all got drunk on Molson over the weekend (but only if the deal closes before they sober up).
If the merger doesn’t work out, he can blame it on the blood suckers at Bain Capital that thought up the merger strategy in the first place.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:27 pm
… tells Wall Street they’re on their own since he doesn’t need campaign cash anymore.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
sells america short
November 12th, 2012 at 12:41 pm
…steeples his fingers together and says, “Excellent”
November 12th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
…balmes it on the last guy who was elected President. Oh, wait….
November 12th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
…started printing Woodrow Wilsons again.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
…said I’m gonna bring Al Qaeda back from the dead, and I’m gonna kill GM.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
told the GOP, ‘All your base are belong to us.’
November 12th, 2012 at 12:50 pm
…with his first semi-lucid action invests trillions of borrowed dollars in buggy whip manufacturing. Also tells America through his newly appointed spokesperson, Sarah Jessica Parker, that the shovel ready jobs are coming soon.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
…named Dean Winters as secretary of Treasury.
November 12th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
…published his advice on how to make a small forturne on Wall Street. — (start with a large one)
November 12th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Hollywood Hussein creates a new cabinet position.
BHHO appoints Mitt Romney to Secretary of Dog Handler
November 12th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
…can, in this one instance, honestly say his presidency is not all “bull.”
November 12th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
…. laughed maniacally, drummed his fingers together, and said, “It’s all part of my master plan!” No really, he actually did that.
November 12th, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Appoints new “Market Czar” to outsource all remaining assets…because it’s fair.
November 12th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
…checks another item off his to-do list.
November 12th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
… immediately tantrumed and screamed, “DON’T THEY KNOW HOW AWESOME I AM?!”
… immediately complained to MSNBC about how racist it is.
November 12th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
…states “I didn’t do that, somebody else made that happen.”
November 12th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
…taxes the losses
November 12th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
…told the 99% they need to occupy harder.
November 12th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
…rolls a doughnut down a hill and says “Hey, I just named that doughnut ‘America’, now watch me fly”.
…induced me to write the worst joke ever.
November 12th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
just changed his name do Daddy Morebucks.
November 12th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Kept on fiddling.
November 12th, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…declared it a good thing because if stock prices go way down…more Americans can buy stocks! (Admit it, that DOES sound like his grasp of economics)
November 12th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…didn’t notice because he was planning his next vacation.
November 12th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
…claimed stock prices were bowing to him.
November 12th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…attributed it to so many people being busy out buying guns, not watching the market.
November 12th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…didn’t take the hint.
November 12th, 2012 at 5:08 pm
received a phone call that Blue Horseshoe no longer loves Anacott Steel.
November 12th, 2012 at 6:39 pm
…said, “sounds about right.”
…put his pinky to the corner of his mouth and said, “why make the market go down billions when I can make it go down…trillions.”
…wondered aloud, “what do those numbers mean, anyway?”
(bacon to dill…I’m slightly angry I was here too late)
November 12th, 2012 at 7:15 pm
…decided all stocks should be the same (fair) price, minus a modest tax.
November 12th, 2012 at 7:56 pm
@archangel: Thanks archangel, but I have to offer bacon to tanstaafl in #4, (though in that case it wouldn’t be free bacon)
November 12th, 2012 at 9:41 pm
claimed stockmarket not fair anyway
November 13th, 2012 at 8:50 am
Requisitioned a violin.
November 13th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
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