Straight Line of the Day: Overheard During Obama’s Meeting With the Pope…

Posted on March 28, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

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52 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Overheard During Obama’s Meeting With the Pope…”

  1. Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) says:

    The Bible says WHAT!?!

  2. Jimmy says:

    “Mea culpa, mea culpa, mis maxima culpa.” – BO

  3. can of spam says:

    … “forgive me Father, but it was Bush’s fault.”

  4. can of spam says:

    … “you mean Anonymiss’ cookies only taste sinful? (Not that anyone remembers what they taste like anymore…)”

  5. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Mr President, I serve Jesus Christ. I know Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is a friend of mine. Mr. President, you’re not Jesus Christ.

  6. Jimmy says:

    …”I did NOT have sexual relations with that altar boy.”

  7. can of spam says:

    … “so, other than the whole ‘mortal sins’ thing, we’re simpatico?”

  8. Steve H says:

    … (both of them, to his aide) What’s this guy’s name again?

  9. c64wood says:

    So Pope tell me, how many of you are in the pizza?

  10. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    No Mr. President, I only get high on the Lord.

  11. Jimmy says:

    …”Are you that blogger named Francis?”

  12. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Why no Mr. President, I don’t KNOW how the dog is around these parts.

  13. DamnCat says:

    …”That doesn’t work for me, Frankie – we can’t both be called ‘Your Holiness’ “

  14. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Biden! Take the Pope’s hat off right this minute!

  15. Jimmy says:

    …”When do you normally break-out the sacramental wine?”

  16. can of spam says:

    … “you may kiss my ring.”
    “Excuse me, Mr. President, but that’s not how it works.”

  17. Bob B says:

    …a voice from on high, saying “This man who thinks he is ‘The One’, do not listen to him…”

  18. Jimmy says:

    …”Your Holiness, may I present Father Guido Sarducci, my translator.”

  19. c64wood says:

    …Yes really, Barraco Barner, there is more to the Bible than just the sermon on the mount.

    …Et tu Brute?

  20. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Even if you spell it O’Bama I can’t make you an Irish Saint.

  21. can of spam says:

    … “no, you can’t change the Ten Commandments via executive order.”

  22. can of spam says:

    … “no, I really don’t have any authority over the Louisville Cardinals; your brackets are on their own.”

  23. Dohtimes says:

    …you’ll have to forgive Mr. Biden’s absence, he thought he was supposed to meet the poop.

    …well jeez, we still haven’t re-sanctified this place after that hell’s spawn Pelosi slithered out of here.

    …nothing, by Obama, just in case.

    …a bit of a ruckus in the wine cellar during the ritual Secret Service security sweep and guzzle.

  24. Bob B says:

    …”Lighten up, Francis.”

  25. Scott says:

    “…Are you Catholic?”

  26. Scott says:

    “…Do you poop in the woods?”

  27. Fangbeer says:

    Sorry, Francis but I have a pen and a phone. The constitution’s built in restraining order means you can’t touch me, but I can do whatever I want to you.

    Sorry Barack, but I have on good authority that my 10 commandments trump your 27 amendments.

  28. Jimmy says:

    …as they walked the square, they came upon a little Italian boy who had spilled his lunch and was crying.

    Obama asked, “What’s wrong, little boy?”

    “Cheese an’ crackers got all muddy!”

    And a surprised Pope said, “You shouldn’t blaspheme like that, my son.”

  29. Steve H says:

    @13 – You win.

    @28 – Ouch.

  30. James says:

    . . . I thought I was meeting a talking mule.

  31. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Have you ever tried that loaves and fishes trick? I got my stash right here.

  32. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    Should I call you “Pyscho”?

  33. Tater Salad says:

    …Dang, Popester, you’re NOT German? I had this cool greeting in Austrian all practiced. Hey, Frankie, dude, do ya like Al Green?

  34. Chip says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope……. not so much heard as it was smelled.

  35. Oppo says:

    “If you like your doctrine, you can keep your doctrine. Period.”

  36. Drew93 says:

    Overheard During Obama’s Meeting With the Pope…

    Obama: “Stop sprinkling holy water on me! It burns!”

  37. Oppo says:

    “Stephanopoulos told me my Muslim faith is really my Christian faith. Does that qualify me for some sort of transubstantiation award or something?”

    “So what’s the deal with the Easter Bunny? Or don’t you delve deeply into theology like I do?”

    “That water into wine story’s OK, but wait’ll I tell you about turning a penalty into a tax!”

  38. Oppo says:

    “We’re monitoring your excommunications.”

  39. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Papal Translator: (whispering) Holy Father, this dark, unchurched one asks if he could play “Carmina Burana” on the organ with the Basilica choir because, it happens to be, and I quote, “one of his favorite jams”.

  40. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…

    …”the Power of Christ compells you!”

  41. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    ” Hey, Francis, you know a place where a dude could score some pizza and Dago red? I’ve got wicked munchies!”

  42. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard During Obama’s Meeting With the Pope…

    So how much does it cost to cover your Nuns for birth control?

  43. Jimmy says:

    …”you mean all your accounting is on a cash basis? I like it here.”

  44. Jimmy says:

    …”No, Mr. President, the white smoke isn’t created with choom.”

  45. Jimmy says:

    Pope: “Mr. President, how do YOU spell “schism?”

    Obama: “s c h i s e m”

    Pope: “No, Mr. President, in this case it’s correct to leave out the extra vowel.”

    Obama: “Umm. Okay. s c h s e m.”

  46. Larry E says:

    “I’m very grateful to you for granting me an audience, Mr. Obama.”

  47. Burt says:

    Do you actually have to know a fisherman to get bling like that?

  48. raml says:

    you are an atheist

  49. 4of7 says:

    This is Sister Agnes, she’ll be following you for the rest of your term to make you don’t step out of line again.
    You won’t see her, but she’ll never be more than a ruler toss away.
    You’re welcome.
    http://www.robertahoyt.com/comics.html (Ninja Nun!)

  50. 4of7 says:

    Pertinent Example (episode 20)
    http://www.robertahoyt.com/Comic20.html

  51. Harvey says:

    @45 – Point of order: Obama would’ve dropped the e, because that narcissist would NEVER pass up an opportunity to say “I” :-D

  52. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …”what is with the President and all the pea soup?”

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