Frank Answers: Dumb Bombs, Crane Technique, and Lucky Pennies

George S. from favorite stall, 16th floor bathroom asks:
Do you think all the other bombs feelings are hurt when ‘smart bombs’
are singled out for praise & adulation? I mean, not all bombs can have
a low CEP (circular error probable), right?

I think you are absolutely right. Smart bombs get far too much praise in this society where we don’t want to “hurt civilians”. My favorite bombing technique was the good ‘ole saturation bombing, in which having high tech GPS, laser guidance system would be meaningless. Saturation bombing is what really strikes fear in the hearts of the enemy, so don’t toss out your old bombs just yet… unless of course it’s out of an airplane and on to your enemy.
Jared from Receda, CA writes:
As next year marks the 20th anniversary of “The Karate Kid”, I was wondering if Miyagi’s Crane Technique (“If do right, no can defense”) would be an effective counter to a random ninja attack, or if, in fact, it only works against Billy Zabka. After all, in “The Karate Kid Part 2”, Chozen was able to overcome this technique with a skilled flinch.
My God, it’s been like a million years since I’ve seen either of those movies. If I remember the crane technique, all it involves is standing on one foot and then hopping to the other while kicking. No defense my ass. Let’s see if he can crane kick a gat from 25 yards, that’s what I say.
Susie from Des Moines, Thailand
How long is a lucky penny lucky?
A lucky penny (a penny found lying on the ground face up) has a luck half-life of approximately one day (23 hours, 56 minutes, 12.87 seconds). Most luck should follow immediately after picking up of the penny.
If instead one picks up a penny of death (a penny found lying face down), your chance of dying that day increases by 1000%. On the other hand, you will be one cent richer.


Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.

No Comments

  1. What if you see a penny lying face down and you turn it over but leave it there on the ground? Does it become a lucky penny for the next person to come along or is a disguised penny of death? If it is still a penny of death, is this a good way to get rid of ninjas?

  2. Frank, I hate ‘smart’ bombs. I, like you, miss the good ol’ days of saturation bombing. At the very least, at the end of the bombing day, you had less enemies and that, as we all know, is a good thing. Thanks.

  3. Frank, have you heard?:
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A50764-2003Jun30.html
    IRVINE, Calif. – Police shot and killed a sword-wielding man described by relatives as schizophrenic after he slashed and killed two former co-workers and wounded three other people at a supermarket where he used to bag groceries.
    About 40 to 50 shoppers ran from the store shortly after 9:30 a.m. Sunday as police went in to subdue Joseph Hunter Parker, who was armed with a samurai-style sword and wearing a beret and trenchcoat, said police Cmdr. Jeff Noble.

  4. Actually, the bad luck of a penny of death is neutralized if you: a) pick it up with your left hand, b) put it in your left pocket, and c) leave it there the rest of the day. It’s still just a penny, though.

  5. Yes, the crane technique was defended against in Part II. However, the new move, inspired by a continuously rotating toy with string “arms,” has no known defense, as poor Chozen learned.

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