I said I wasn’t going to post today, but I’m a goddamn liar.
Anyway, I have some pictures of me for the Peace Gallery. Here is a sample:
As you notice, the shirt has a nice slimming effect (I weigh over 300 pounds). That’s my trusty Colt 1991 just visible at my right hip.
Kim du Toit was the first to get a picture out (thanks to Mrs. du Toit for taking it). He says a bunch of mean things about me, thinking that just because he has an AK-47 with a 40-rd magazine he can get away with it. Well… he’s probably right. Then again, he is miles and miles away from me, so I might as well insult him back.
So what’s with the size of that magazine? You compensating for something?
Anyway, the reason I haven’t bought his Nation of Riflemen mug or lunchbox is that I already have a Rachel Lucas mug and a tin G.I. Joe lunch box to take to elementary school (dented by the heads of many would be bullies). Quick quiz, complete this phrase: “And now I know…”
Still, that large size mug du Toit has would save me more trips to the coffee pot, thus increasing my productivity at work. Also, if I had a kid, it would be neat to send him to school with a “Nation of Riflemen” lunchbox. He’d probably be suspended from some zero tolerance rule, though. Hopefully, if I one day have kids, they’ll be smart enough to learn quite quickly not to trust me.
I want to get the Peace Gallery up and running soon, but I’m still thinking of how to organize it (any suggestions would be appreciated since I’m not the most experienced with web design). I like the idea of each person being able to have a short description along with their picture. Also, photoshopping is okay (all my pictures are of me standing where I hope to one day be a pool table; maybe I could put myself somewhere more exciting) but you have to actually be wearing an actual Nuke the Moon t-shirt. Otherwise, you’re subverting capitalism which makes you a Commie.
Wait, didn’t I say less t-shirt whoring next week? Oh yeah, next week starts tomorrow.
Hm I thought ninjas didn’t use firearms, what with the code of honor and whatnot.
“And now I know Frank has his french blinds closed because he’s afraid monkeys outside will see him through the window and might attack him the moment he takes his Nuke the Moon t-shirt off, rendering him temporarily un-invincible”
You talk about “compensating” when you’re carrying a blade like that??
It only looks large because you don’t see it next to my penis.
Oy… did I just say that…
And knowing is half the battle… G.I. JOE!
That was my favorite show as a kid, along with He-man and Thunder Cats.
I can’t wait for my T-shirt to come. Then I will be almost as cool as Frank J.
Frank, I’ve seen that pose before. Isn’t that what the good guy does right after the bad guy just killed his girlfriend, or what the bad guy does just before he dies trying to look impressive to the good guy? I think in either case a cool looking decapitation is soon to follow !
ps- literally not 4 minutes ago I got that squishy,white papery type envelope from ‘ThoseShirts.com’….ooh the wonder of what was inside !!! He he…now to do my pic with me wearing the NTM shirt…and I have Photoshop, if I could just figure out how to use it…
Something is wrong with that picture. Peach/mauve decor and Ninja–I think there’s some law against that.
Not that I would deign to correct your greatness, um ‘n stuff. Buuuut, wouldn’t that be a Colt 1911? (I just double-checked Colt’s site, and found that I am sooo out of the loop with the current Colt models that I need to go to the Gun store as quickly as possible.) Thanks for the great site, and always remember that when beheading someone, use a “slashing” motion with the sword, and a “chopping” motion with an axe. 🙂
dr. dna,
I’m a samurai, not a ninja.
M. Upton,
Good catch. Knowing that phrase and having the t-shirt will make you quite cool. Having the right t-shirt is the other half of the battle.
Paul,
That is a common sword stance. It is very agressive as it leaves the body exposed.
Mrs. du Toit,
Maybe I should do some photoshopping for a better background before I put the picture in the gallery.
Johnny,
I know how to use a sword and I know what my gun is (a 1991).
I stand most humbly corrected. I know that I seem like a lurker (I guess that’s the term for it.) but I assure you I mean no ill will. I’ve always been partial to 1911 models and thier Ilk, and after reading the specs on the 1991 I know I must have one. I nearly Died when I saw my first Norinco Pop-off of the “True Man’s tm” firearm. It’s cheap for a reason! Anyway’s, i just wanted to send nothin’ but Monkey Hate from this side. My shirt order will be coming through soon.
Just got my shirt confirmation # and the only thing I had to write the number with was a Calligraphy pen. I’m not sure what that does to my status here, but I’m sure that hippy’s can’t afford them so I think I’m okay. BTW, as soon as I start up a Blog, you’ll be the first I link to.
Johnny,
I know you mean no ill will towards me (only monkeys). When I have made an application form for being added to my blogroll, you’ll be the first to get it.
Crap! I don’t have any references for my application. I have some people I know but they all hate me for being smarter than they are. (I’m sure you know the feeling!) I guess I’ll just have to resort to kissing the butt’s of people already in the Blogosphere, or just telling filthy lies about them….But it’s been done! I guess I’ll just have to make you my own personal scrappleface!
BTW that was a (bad) joke.
I know that I come off like an a$$, but I tend to type as if I’m speaking to people I already know, and the context gets messed up. Sorry I’m so self conscious, just a weakness I guess.
Looking good, Frank…why aren’t you out with the ladies on a Saturday night? Or are you hiding from the hordes of females chasing after you? That must be it…which explains the closed blinds.
The closed blinds are for lighting purposes (I really need to find a better background and photshop me into it). I have a project I’m working on this weekend so home I am. And I really wanted to go out and see Hulk…
Two questions, and, no, they’re not fit for “Frank Answers.”
1) Is the person who took this picture still living?
2) Has that been you doing all those stunt-double things for Tobey Maguire. I thought so!
hln
C’Mon Guys
Complete the qoute is cake for children of the eighties.
“…now I know, and knowing is half the battle.
G.I.JOE, Greatest American Heroe, G.I. JOE is there’er ere.”
Chris
Man, you need some color in that house!
As for the shirt….DAMN! You look s-e-x-y in that thing!
btw-can I be on the waiting list for an application to the great blog roll?
Frank’s Dream House
Frank Monkey Slayer
Love the pose…
My roommates won’t let me own a sword [pout].
Had a ‘Frank’ moment on vacation last week… Kept meaning to tell you about it, but just now remembered.
Was shopping in a mall, and went into Hot Topic. They had a shirt that had a monkey dressed as a ninja and it said ‘As we speak, ninja monkeys are plotting my demise’.
Got quite a few strange looks when I almost fell to the ground laughing. Came so close to buying it for myself too!
And now I know….the rest of the story.
Frank,
You’re not cool unless you can tell me what kind of AK he is holding in that picture.
Wow. Kim Du Toit must weigh as much as a beached pilot whale, if the shirt has that much of slimming effect on you.
Hey Frank,
Now that you have T-shirts you should form your own covert organization. Something like:
Men (and Women)
In
Black (T-shirts)
You can be Agent (Frank) J. I call dibs on Agent M, cause that’s my last initial. The other 24 letters can be passed out as you see fit.
Frank M.
Been there done that
Bought the shirt at IMAO. Only I don’t have any weaponry to pose with, I may need to get creative….
Hi thee forthwith to your nearest kendo dojo ….
signed,
A Concerned Friend
One question:
Do. you. own. furniture?
But the floors are quite clean, by the way.