In case you don’t know, one of my favorite syndicated columnists, Michelle Malkin, now has a blog. She seems to be updating it pretty regularly, and, even better, she’s permalinked me! Maybe it’s because I sent her a nice greeting letter:
To: malkin@comcast.net
From: imao@cfl.rr.com
Subject: Now that syndicated columnists are coming to the blogosphere, what happens to the nobodies?
Welcome to the blogosphere. I can see you’re off to a rocket start with the number of posts you have per day so far. Hope you can keep up that momentum.
Me, well, I’m just one of those nobodies who was blogging before it became popular and all the celebrities started coming in saying, “Hey! I’m Michelle Malkin! You know me from T.V. and my intelligently written columns, so you already know you’ll love my blog. No reason to continue reading those other jokers who aren’t published authors.”
Not that I’m bitter. The blogosphere should be open to both celebrities and nobodies. Yes, I work hard for a year to build up my thousands of readers, and then Dave Barry comes along and gets twice that in week. Well good for him– and you.
Just a word of warning: you’re working without and editor now. There’s no safety net here. There’s very little separating the idea in your head from being published for all the world to see. Why, you may be so quick and eager to write something out that you don’t phrase it quite perfectly and soon your Inbox is filled up with people shouting:
NAZI! NAZI! NAZI!
Or, even worse, you could use the wrong there, their, or they’re and they’ll be all over you like piranhas.
I hate homophones.
Anyway, if you find yourself getting too many e-mails related to your blog (like this one), you might want to add comments to your posts. Also, stay off the west side; that’s my territory.
And, finally, never cross me. Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit did, and now he’ll forever be known throughout the blogosphere as the puppy blender.
Once again, welcome to blogging.
Cordially,
Frank J.
http://imao.us
P.S. Any quick tips on how a nobody becomes a syndicated columnist? And don’t tell me talent and hard work, because I’m tired of hearing that.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the nicest greeting, but you should have seen what I sent Margaret Cho.
UPDATE: She responded with proper reverence:
Dear Frank J –
1) Blogospherically speaking, I’m the nobody and you’re the somebody. The Internet is the great leveller. If I get half the traffic you get, I’ll be happy.
2) “NAZI! NAZI! NAZI!” would be one of the nicer hate mails I’ve received in a while.
3) I still get grammar slammer mail for misusing the word “comprise” two years ago.
4) I’ll do a post on syndication sometime soon.
Finally, thanks for the warm welcome, sweetie pie. I’ll try not to cross you. Maybe I’ll buy one of your t-shirts and send you a photo. I think I’d look better in one than Margaret Cho.
Fondly,
Michelle
Anyone who is an enemy of Michelle Malkin is now an enemy of me.
Oh, and for anyone curious about the Margaret Cho e-mail, I’m afraid those bits went down the memory hole when I made my haphazrd switch to XP.
Well, I hope Michelle’s post on becoming a columnist is informative. If so, soon we’ll all be syndicated columnists.
Simpsons reference. oy veigh
Do let us know what she tells you about becoming a famous, syndicated columnist. Just in case the rest of us need something to do in our spare time.
Actually, I really would just like to find a job where I can sit around for half the day doing “research” for my column by reading weblogs…
I saw a grammatical error, but I’m not saying nuthin’!
Well, she does have IMAO as a link on her sidebar. It will be interesting to see what kind of stories she puts up, be they obscure or national. She’s a good writer; I have her book “Invasion.” And she’s hot.
So, you finally admit it: you’re a homophonophobe!!
Excellent choice of columnists to welcome to the Blogosphere and begin a correspondence with, Frank.
Nice touch with the friendly West side warning, The Puppy Blender and Margaret Cho!
Red.
Yo, Frank:
I am reading David Brooks’ Bobos in Paradise, and its chapter on Intellectual Life tells you how to become a public intellectual with a column, books, television appearances, and whatnot.
I’d recommend it.
I think the alternative is to sleep with a Congresswoman from California, nickname her “Neep”, and blog about it.
Wait a second… I want to see what you sent Margaret Cho!
Way to make a new friend, there!
Seeing as how I have nothing better to do….
“Just a word of warning: you’re working without and editor now. ”
should probably be…
“Just a word of warning: you’re working without an editor now. ”
You suck Frank.
d’oh!
say, she’s not trying to steal my job, is she?
Frank, don’t listen to ’em….you do not suck. Crud, I can type 120 words per minute, just not accurately. You have a great day!
Send her a free T-shirt, size small. I want to see the photo she sends back!!
Drew, do not encourage the usurping of my job. it’s my precioussssss.
Well, she hasn’t linked to me, so I have no choice but to officially hate her. Any good tips on how to instantly get to hate somebody, because I’m drawing nothing but blanks here?
If only she would write something really, really stupid, but that’s not exactly likely to happen.
Oh come on! Get with it people.
Blogs are so first quarter of 2003!
Those in the know are zigging while you troglodytes are zagging.
I’ve gone retro… that’s right, all the way back to 1998 baby!
A php forum.
http://www.thehappyextremist.com/forum
So her enemy is your enemy? Uh-oh.
Michelle Malkin Immigrates
To the Nation of Blogs, if you will. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you’ll know that I don’t hesitate to cite the writings of columnist Michelle Malkin. While taking my daily stroll through the sites
Scratch that. The Empire’s Honor has been satisfied. His Imperial Majesty now officially loves Michelle Malkin (again).
I am dying to see her in a Nuke the Moon Tshirt…hubbahubba
She called at least one thing right beyond any hint of doubt or possibility of reasoned debate – she’d look better than Cho in a t-shirt. Or anything else. Or nothing at all.
No enemy here. As an Ex-pat living in the Philippines, and long time visitor here I have noticed Michelle the “Hottie” long ago.
BUT, if she ever gets a divorce – ITS ON, watch out Frank.
Well, Well, Well
Look who’s in the house; one of my favorite columnists has taken the plunge. Welcome Michelle Malkin to the blogoshere and special thanks to Ian S. via Frnak’s for the head’s up. She goes to the front of the line….
BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
Today is Frank J.’s second “blogiversary” over at IMAO –with a spanking new Sekimori redesign! (Frank was the first to offer me a chivalrous welcome to the blogosphere last month.) In celebration of his red-letter day, we offer the obligatory…