I probably should be talking about the Republican National Convention right now, but anyone who isn’t a ‘tard already knows to vote Republican (actually there’s a great slogan: “Only ‘tards vote for Democrats!”). Instead, what’s concerning me is hearing about more murder of Israelis and Palestinians celebrating it.
The Palestinian terrorists say they won’t stop until all Jews have been pushed into the sea. Of course, that will never happen. That means they’ll be murderous dumbasses forever.
Or does it?
Let’s push all the Palestinians into the sea. See how they like it. If we Americans get together with the Israelis, we’ll easily be able to push the Palestinians anywhere we want.
Now some may say they have problems with this plan. They may not want to get sand into their shoes. This can be solved by having a nice pier to push the Palestinians off of so you don’t have to walk on the beach. Also, there can be plenty of signs saying “Push Palestinians this Way” that point to the pier.
Others may wonder how in the world could we be sure we pushed all Palestinians into the sea. Easy. After we push each Palestinian into the sea, we give him a “I was pushed into the sea” card. Then, he can show that card to keep from being pushed into the sea again. No claiming you lost the card, though; into the sea you go!
It will be hard work pushing Palestinians into the sea, but they should learn some important lessons from it. One, they will find that being pushed into the sea is not a nice thing. It is wet and salty. Second, they’ll know for sure that we’re bigger than them and we can push them around. So that’s why this must be completed. Yes, it will be tempting to say, “I think we’ve pushed enough Palestinians into the sea,” but we must not rest until all Palestinians have been pushed into the sea.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is the author of such books as “Tricking Girls into Cuddling for Warmth” and “Look at Me! I’m an Author!”
first?
do they get floaties?
i don’t like the beach because of the sand in the shoes either.
but i do like your first book! 😉
I want a copy of the first book!
The other great thing about the plan is that it will be the closest thing to a bath most of the Palestinians get for months.
You don’t need the Israelis to push the Palestinians into the sea. You need the other Arabs. After all, they’ve been pushing the Palestinians out of their countries and toward the sea for years now…
The trick is to build a floating “city” on the beach. Get the palestinians to go there. When they all get there, cut it loose. Suddenly, they’re the problem of the Greeks!
Years ago, a friend of mine who had been with Force Recon at Phu Bai told me what he and the others in the 3rd Marines had considered to be the best solution for ending the Vietnam War.
Your post makes me think of how their approach–/mutatis mutandis/–could be useful in the Middle East:
1. Round up all the “good” Palestinians–those who are friendly and peaceful–and load them on ships.
2. Park the ships offshore in the Eastern Med (far enough so no one can swim to or from the ships).
3. Starting at the Gulf of Aqaba and ending at the Golan, comb Eretz Israel for all the remaining (“bad”) Palestinians, whom you kill.
4. Go back to the Eastern Med where you’ve stashed the “good” Palestinians and sink the ships.
Hey Frank, how about a T-shirt that says,”Terrorists – kill them for the children”?
I must confess, I only read these so that I can get to the bottom and discover the new book titles! Sorry.
How can you write a book about something you have yet to be successful doing? I think I’ve discovered a flaw in your cuddling approach displayed thus far, Frank J. You’re attacking the problem as if there were a mathematical solution: throw enough logical reasons at the girl, at she will succumb. Change tactics! When it comes to cuddling, girls don’t want logic!
well the gaza strip won’t be much of a problem. An army of bulldozers could sweep them in the sea…but the west bank presents more of a problem. I say instead of pusing them over 20 miles of israeli territory towards the sea, we push half into jordan and the other half into the dead sea.
If we push all the Palestinians into the sea, won’t the Greenpeace crowd have a fit over the pollution? Of course, then we could push the Greenpeacers onto dry land.
Why don’t you just tell all “The last Palistinian that pushes themselves into the sea is an Infidel? And like, you know, goes to hell and doesn’t get any virgins and stuff?”
We should push them up their own asses instead. Oh wait! They’ve already done that themselves. Well, their heads anyways…. AAA—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call them by their rightful name.
They are ISLAMOFASCISTS!!!!!!
Do not dignify them, they are sub-human scum.
Send them to the moon, Alice!
A most judicious and reasonable solution, Frank J.
After that, the lesson needs to be refreshed in the Palis’ minds at regular intervals.
I suggest flicking the fingers of an outstretched hand forward, in the same kind of motion we used to trick our kid sister into thinking we were spraying water in her face.
Booo!
Hell’s Bells! What good is it being the only super-power on this planet if we don’t get to push palistin-ninnys into the sea. I want a return on all those taxes I paid to build them niffty super-weapons; dag-nabbit!
Unfortunately, not only the Palestinians, but also their children and the Wahabbis and the rest of the terrorists.
A little turbo boost to the SMITE laser and you should be able to bring the sea to them!
Some creative carving and ZAP! Israel is an island and the Gaza strip is a harbor.
Don’t forget the jellyfish, terrorizing Israelis at sea. It’s about time to fight terror with terror.
To recover some economic losses of Israel caused by Palestinians, I suggest Israelis create the biggest lottery in the world, open to all nations, betting on the ultimate winner in the Palestinians vs. Jellyfish terror battle. My money is on the Jellyfish.
Nice one, frank. BNears thinking what would’ve happened had the arabs won the ’67 and the ’73 wars? Am sure the resulting genocide of jews would’ve rivalled if not surpassed the holocaust. Compare that with the humanism and compassion with which the jews have treated arabs during and after the wars both within and outside their borders?
Now you know why the fish are cribbing about the paleys coming there….I’m Piscean you know, and real tuned in to fish feel….
I hope it’s the Dead Sea since geographically, the Mediterranean doesn’t work. Besides, the Dead Sea is a much cooler name and you won’t have to worry about giving anyone floaties due to all the buoyancy provided by the dissolved chemicals in the water. 🙂
I know you’re kidding around, but, just wondering, why do you side with the Palestinians here? Why do you take a side at all? The fact is that both sides have been mindlessly killing each other for years. Israelis with tanks, Palestinians with suicide bombs. It’s idiotic. I say f*** ’em all. Let them kill each other off, then maybe the rest of the world will learn a lesson.
No, no, no, Shannon. You shouldn’t speak so authoritatively about a subject of which you obviously know nothing. I’m not going to get into the details with you. Go educate yourself.
I will point out that it is NOT the fact “that both sides have been mindlessly killing each other for years.” The Arab Muslims have been trying to kill the Jews, and the Jews have been trying not to be killed. The Arab Muslims suffer from a cultural pathology that manifests itself in many, many, very bad ways. Their attitude toward and actions against the Jews are just one aspect of this pathology.
Something else you obviously don’t know is that over the generations we Joos have been murdered off until, at this point, there’s a real question as to our long term survival. That’s certainly not your fault. It’s not even your duty to defend us; protecting and perpetuating ourselves is our own responsibility. But it is hurtful that, in your ignorance, you state such a wrong and unfair conclusion. Adding insult to injury, and all that stuff.
what does imao stand for?