(A Guest Post By Harvey of Bad Example)
By the way, is there a name for IMAO fans? I mean, Jimmy Buffet fans are “Parrot Heads”, Star Trek fans are “Trekkies”, and Michael Moore fans are “Assholes”. What would you call Frank J. fans? Frankensteins? Moon Nukers? Edgy loners who pretty much keep to themselves before they finally snap?
You guys work on that.
Anyway, whatever they’re called, I’m stealing Jeff Foxworthy’s schtick, and calling this one:
YOU MIGHT BE AN IMAO FAN
… if you’re afraid to leave a comment for fear it’ll reveal your whereabouts to evil ninjas.
…if you overheard someone mention Spock’s father’s name, and you immediately thought of the IMAO T-shirt babe.
Admit it, you don’t pronounce her last initial separately in your head, do you?
…if you’ve fought Aquaman and – like everyone except the French – pretty much kicked his wussy ass.
…if you were called on to recite a Bible verse in Sunday School and you quoted the Book of Tobit.
…if someone offered you a lime for your bottle of Corona beer and Rage Against the Machine songs started running through your head.
…if you support the troops in Iraq and you have the terrorist heads mounted on your wall to prove it.
…if, when you heard that soldier complaining about the lack of vehicle armor, you expected Rumsfeld to strangle the reporter who fed him the question.
…if you named your dog “Chomps”.
…if you named one of your children “Chomps”.
…if you’ve ever strangled a reporter and left a note blaming it on the Rumsfeld Strangler.
…if your bondage fantasies involve Melinda Hawkish and a microphone cord.
…if you believe that Canada will eventually be called “Canadada“.
…if you didn’t think it was funny that Frank didn’t win his own permalink contest.
…if you know what Frank’s last name is because you donated to his PayPal tip jar.
[notices blank stares] Ok, that one’s a “just me” thing. But you’d be surprised how reasonably priced a Permalink Contest victory is.
…if you’ve made a list of people for use in the initial calbration testing of the S.M.I.T.E. targeting system.
…especially if you posted that list on your blog in the hopes that Frank would link to you.
…if the only Bush cabinet members you know are the ones who’ve appeared in “In My World” episodes.
…if you have a Nuke the Moon tattoo.
…if your vocabulary consists solely of the words “Hmmm”, “Heh”, and “Indeed”.
Oops. Sorry… that’s an Instapundit reader.
…if you’ve ever been “First!”
…if you named one of your children “Frnak“.
…if you’ve joined the Marines SPECIFICALLY to defend Frank’s freedom of speech.
…if you bought a Colt 1991 to enhance your IMAO street cred.
…if you voted for Frank for Best Humor Blog and Meryl for Best of the Top 100 – 250 Blogs. If you didn’t, Aquaman will beat you up, ya little wussy.
By the way, if you vote for Meryl (who needs to start makin’ with the favors already), you get a free copy of “Learn Yiddish With Dick and Jane“.
…if you named one of your children “Ronin”.
…if you named ALL of your children “Ronin”.
…if you have an IMAO RSS feed to your pager so you can be “First!” when something new gets posted.
…if you know what IMAO actually stands for.
…if you don’t care what IMAO actually stands for, as long as Frank keeps posting new “In My World” episodes.
…if you know what the J. in “Frank J.” stands for.
Just kidding. Even Frank doesn’t know that one.
…if your biggest fear is the monkey menace.
…if you own 6 Nuke the Moon T-shirts, one for every day of the week.
What?… Isn’t Sunday “Naked Day” at YOUR house?
…if you didn’t laugh at any of these because you wanted Frank to think you missed him.
By the way, if that amused you, you might want to check out the King of the Blogs Tournament, run by Nick of Patriot Paradox, because I’ll be a judge there, and my blog reviews are legendary.
If you’re feeling particularly ballsy, you might even sign up to participate so that you can be a target of those reviews.
No such thing as bad publicity in the blogosphere.
Although Dan Rather may beg to differ.
First!
You know, I had an irony alert go off in my head when I saw that Harvey was a guest blogger.
I mean, he was “he who shall remain nameless” for quite some time. This post just reinforces it. And I think it’s funny.
BTW, Harv, that was very very funny!
Whew, good think the baby factory is closed. I hadn’t thought of naming a kid Chomps or Ronin…
i think that the j stands for… joooooo!
that was pretty funny… i have to admit that if i had a dog he would be called chomps…
who’s Sarek?
and i know what the J stands for. do i win a prize?
and the fans are “ronin”.
International Monkey Assassin Organization?
Jackson?
Wow! Very funny! I almost laughed out loud but I don’t want to hurt Frank’s feelings.
Sunday’s not “Naked Day” because I go to church then. And that would be awkward.
jonag, not at my church. what kinda backwater conservative church do you belong to?
I have seen Frank J. fans referred to as a buncha monkey-kissin’ idjits several diff’rent times. I keep seein’ that li’l scrap of paper that I wrote that on and taped to a door whenever I need to grab a new roll of buttwipe.
Ya wanna know what my fans are called? Become one and when I’ll have a fan, we can pick the name.
I’m still confused. Explain again the idea of Churches and shirts? I mean back here in the hills we only wear shirts on Sunday. Not for this church thing but because that’s the only day we sit down to eat and we need something to catch the grease before it lands on them private things down below. Now It don’t bother Slim none ever since that dog bit him down there but the rest of us still need to wear shirts. I got one of them new ones from the CARE package from France. They sure are nice people, it was a nice white color when I got it and they even had it sewn onto a stick so it was sure not to get lost when they shipped it over. By the way does it count of you named a child Bit instead of Chomp? Named him that because figured in a little bit another one would be coming along.
I think IMAO fans are generally refered to as “Conservatives” or “Republicans”, whatever those terms mean.
I learned Frank J.’s last name when I sent him my books to review. But I’ve forgotten it.
Curse those alien mind-control rays!
i thought that the fans were called crack-smokers.
…If you draw the rottweiler of one of your friends (It’s still named Rocky, though – not my dog) on your comic wearing UN peacekeeper blue helmet. And make him attack by screaming “Hippies!”. Yeah, that’s an angry dog, a very angry dog…
Chase, it’s “In My Arrogant Opinion.” At least, that’s what Frnak told a radio interview once. He has a recording of it up somewhere, but I’m too lazy to find the link.
Pay no attention to the anonymous commenter behind the curtain! The sacred mystery of the meaning of IMAO has NOT been compromised! Return to your devotions!
Uh, they call us Imao-Maos?
IMAO is an internet chat acronym which means “In My Actual Opinion” or “In My Arrogant Opinion” depending on who uses it. The latter meaning is more prevalent nowadays and gains momentum with ever AIM user that signs up.
The clue in the FAQ is that the comments link used to say “IYAO”, so either acronym would apply.
Well, if it’s not arrogant opinion then maybe it’s “boot-orifice” opinion or angling opinion or angry opinion or Internet Mind-Assimilation Operation. Arrogant isn’t interesting enough. Frank’s in the hospital with a boot up his butt. I say we change it while he’s gone….
What happened to ronin?
“By the way, is there a name for IMAO fans?”
Preteens? I’m KIDDING!
It’s My A$$, Owwie…
how about IMHoles?
How do you set up the RSS feed?
I think the IMAO equivalent of Parrothead might be “Muckadont”.
Man, I got to get me one of those Colt 1991 pistols… It has to be better than my 1911! I mean, that’s… uh… 50 years worth of improvements, right?
IMAO readers? I-Mao-Maos! Obvious!
Fans of IMAO: FranKophiles. Which is a little wierd, because our archenemies are FranCophiles. You can imagine the problems this causes during turf battles.
“… if you’re afraid to leave a comment for fear it’ll reveal your whereabouts to evil ninjas.”
I have absolutely no idea what you mean…
I think it should be IMAOrons (your pronunciation may vary.) And that’s not trolling, that’s self-deprecating, since I are one.