35 Comments

  1. Actually they only have three.
    “I surrender.”
    “We surrender.”
    “The French surrender.”
    They cannot even imagine someone surrendering without them, since they’re always the first to surrender anyways. It’s one of those linguistic anamolies.

  2. They may have upwards of 25,000 word for surrender. Additionally, studies have shown that they only have five concepts in their whole entire language
    1. Surrender
    2. Cheese
    3. Whine
    4. Collaborate
    5. Condescend

  3. Back in the day when I studied french, I never came upon the word for surrender. This leads me to believe that there is no french word for surrender, as they cannot see themselves surrendering to other frenchmen. From a young age they learn other languages so that they may surender fluently when the time comes.

  4. Depends on who it is they’re surrendering to…
    To the Germans: “Welcome home.”
    To the Russians: “Chernobyl? That almost sounds French.”
    To the Spanish: “Yes, your Majesty.”
    To the Italians: “Uh, we’ve got our own knee pads, thank you.”
    To the British: “Go away or I will taunt you a second time.”
    To the Veitnamese: “Hey guys, I’d like to introduce you to America.”
    To the Morocans: “We don’t know what the hell you just said, but we give up.”
    To the Ivory Coast Rebels: “Surrender? Are you kidding?! No one’s paying attention. If we surrender now, we’ll never get credit for it.”
    To Saddam’s Iraq: “Your nuke plans, Monsieur.”
    To the Canadians: “You guys are WAY too gay for us.”
    To the U.S.: “Dang. Now how are you going to get our a**es outta THIS one?”

  5. Depends on who it is they’re surrendering to…
    To the Germans: “Welcome home.”
    To the Russians: “Chernobyl? That almost sounds French.”
    To the Spanish: “Yes, your Majesty.”
    To the Italians: “Uh, we’ve got our own knee pads, thank you.”
    To the British: “Go away or I will taunt you a second time.”
    To the Veitnamese: “Hey guys, I’d like to introduce you to America.”
    To the Morocans: “We don’t know what the hell you just said, but we give up.”
    To the Ivory Coast Rebels: “Surrender? Are you kidding?! No one’s paying attention. If we surrender now, we’ll never get credit for it.”
    To Saddam’s Iraq: “Your nuke plans, Monsieur.”
    To the Canadians: “You guys are WAY too gay for us.”
    To the U.S.: “Dang. Now how are you going to get our a**es outta THIS one?”

  6. My theory (since I dont know a word of French) is that every word of their language means surrender. If their language is as diverse as ours, they’d have upwards of 300,000 ways of saying surrender in various contexts. Maybe we could get them overrun by Hindus, then they could have 300 million gods, each named something like: Threatlessha – God of surrendering to someone who is not even attacking you.

  7. Everything is inferred in french, implied by the sense of the sentence and depending on to whom and to how many you are talking to.
    Therefore there are no ‘words’ for surrender in french as they have no verbs or nouns. Instead, there are variations on a sound, which is spelled: ^
    In English, this would sound vaguely like “ik”

  8. George Guy,
    Being half Polish i’ll just point out that the Poles did fight the invading Germans, it was just that their cavalry were no match for the German tanks and planes. Polish people may be dumb (as the jokes imply) but they are not cowards. The French on the other hand simply give up. That is why we French-bash and not Polish-bash.

  9. Yeah, I agree with whats-his-name…the French are too busy shrieking like wounded faggots running away to actually say, “I surrender” in any language.
    It would be as dumb as King Arthur and his men coming upon a cave wall that said, “…the Castle Aaaaaaaaaaarrgh!” Except, unlike the cave wall scribe (or Brother Maynard of course), the French lived to surrender another day.

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