I’ve been nominated for Best Blog in About.com’s Politcal Humor awards. Go vote for me and I promise to actually have some political humor tomorrow.

Time to give an autographed book from a leading conservative to the first commenter of this post. Quick! Comment now! Then come back and read.
Now, I don’t know much about hiring speakers, such as the great speakers from Premiere Speakers Bureau, for corporate functions or such, but I have a little experience with college. To get Oliver North to CMU, we conservatives had to pay for that ourselves using a private charity fund set up for the purpose of helping conservatives at my college. The thing is, the college already had plenty of money and was always bringing in speakers we didn’t care about. Thus, our small, campus-wide right-wing conspiracy decided to join up and take over the group responsible for picking speakers. You should see how some liberals get scared when coming face to face with actual conservatives.
The main thing is to use your college’s system against it. When they wouldn’t help fund our Republican group, we took the charter from the heavily funded gay and lesbian group and changed every reference to “homosexual” to “conservative” to make them fund a conservative group. So, collegians, plan and conquer whatever group is responsible for picking speakers for your college. If you can control that money, then you can bring in great people like those from Premiere Speakers Bureau’s exclusives.
BTW, I haven’t gotten to contacting the winners from over the weekend and will do so soon. I’ll need all the winner’s information and choices of books by Thursday so I can send it in and get you your books before Christmas.

The Tarantor is gloating (item “We won!”) how he crushed my hopes and dreams on a whim (with a link to me; hooray!).
You’ve made a powerful enemy, Tarantor. The denizens of hell will pity you once my revenge comes to fruition!
Now all I need are some plans. Anyone able to ship infected monkeys to New York? Also, I’ll need the boxes they’re in clearly labeled “Not Monkeys” to fool my clever enemies.
Muh ha ha ha!

I won an award from Earl! Yay!
Also, make sure to check out everyone in my blogads to thank them for sponsoring IMAO. You have been checking out my advertisers, right?
Also, remember that IMAO t-shirts make great the best Chirstmas gifts. I have more modeling photos to entice you, and hope to have those up soon.
What was that super big announcement…
Anyhoo, here’s fair warning the next book handout is going to be very soon.

I feel bad; I had not time for a post today, but I feel I should give you guys something other than just waiting when, by whim, I decide to give out the next book in my contest. I’m hoping to have a new IMW written by tomorrow, but, for now, I’ll quickly grab a headline and make a hilarious comment.

“Osama bin Laden not caught in Pakistan”
For the record, he was also not caught in Polk County, Iowa.

There. That was funny.
Okay, so it wasn’t. Well why don’t you all try grabbing a headline or news story and making a short witty comment like in the SNL news segment, The Daily Show, or any monologue for a late night talk show and put in the comments section. Not as easy as you think… unless you’re me.

Well, you people failed me again. I don’t know whether to damn Scrappleface, James Tarantor, or you ronin. Maybe you don’t deserve humor from me or the happy dance (which, BTW, was the happiest happy dance ever put to film).
For those of you who want details of my weekend, SarahK – the real one – has them. She seems to like making me appear stupid, so I think I should start a collection of best SarahK phrases as a defense.
“The Dallas Cowboys had the best defense in the NHL last year.”
“I am not a Texan!” (say with your best imitation of a Texan accent for full effect)
For those who don’t care about my trip, I’ll see if I can up with some regular funny… if I decide you deserve it. So, anything political happen in the past couple days?
UPDATE: I noticed that I misspelled “Taranto”, but I like the new spelling. Thus I decree that he shall forever be known as Tarantor from this day forth.

Came in super mucho grande late to work, so I don’t know when I’ll have time for a good blog post. There’s plenty to do, but hopefully I’ll catch some downtime.
I’d like to thank my guest bloggers… ah, no time!
I’ll blog soon, but, if anyone asks, I’ve been working all this time.

Hello, ronin, I have returned. For those who don’t know Hollywood speak, that means the Happy Dance is filled and ready for a distributor… which isn’t quite true. It’s stuck on a tape for digital video camera I bought just to get this done with and stop your griping (and to prove my word is my bond; a happy dance was promised). I filmed it with the help of SarahK just before heading to the airport which I arrived at only 25 minutes before my flight was leaving.
Anyhoo, I’m here, and it’s time to give away a book (this counts as the Sunday giveaway; the Monday one is still to come). I’m too tired to say anything special about Premiere Speakers Bureau, but I’ll tell my college experience about bringing in speakers tomorrow. As for now, I’ll just again point out how great autographed books are for a holiday gift.
Also, I’d like to say thanks to my guest bloggers (whom I haven’t had a chance to read all of their material yet). They can stick around a day longer if they want (or just put up links to their site) because I’ll take a day to get back to full blogging capacity.
I understand one has been posting under my name…
UPDATE: Sorry, this is the real SarahK link.