Quick, go over to RightWingNews if you want another chance at winning a book.
And I still have eight more to give out over the next eight days (different time each day).
UPDATE: Too late, but Andrew Sullivan was mean to Michelle Malkin and John Hawkins shot back in his own fashion.
Archive of entries posted on 8th December 2004
The IMAO Contest Post – Which Doesn’t Make a Great Name for a Rock Band
Premiere Speakers Bureau has connections to a large number of speakers other than just their exclusive speakers (one of whom endorsed me for best humor blog). They also have a large list of other speakers in many categories. under humor, I found Scott Adams and Dave Barry. You have to call to find the prices of big names like that, though. Dave Barry should have plenty of time for speaking now that he’s taken a break from his weekly column, but I wonder if he charges extra for speaking engagments in which he’ll point out things that would great names for rock bands?
I Guess the Jihad Is Off
Taranto linked to me today… perhaps as an olive branch. (final part of the item “Political Poison”)
Or is he just playing with my mind?
ANNOUNCEMENT!
It’s been asked for on occasions, and I’ve decided now to pursue it in earnest.
IMAO will be available in book form.
The first four years of the Bush administration will be summed up in one big book of In My Worlds™.
But, you didn’t start writing IMWs until October of 2002, you say.
Yes, that means the book will have all new content, including reediting of the earlier IMWs to better fit the current style. I hope to get this done and out for purchase as soon as possible after Bush’s inauguration in January (which I guess is where the book will end since technically that’s the beginning of the next four years).
Also, there is a secret hush hush plan in the works… and it involves the happy dance.
Anyway, still have that autographed book to give out today in the contest. RightWingNews is also giving away books, but you have to answer questions on his site while I’m giving books away for what you crack smokers ronin usually do anyway. Still, if you want to increase your chances of winning, you can constantly refresh both of our sites until you go insane. Muh ha ha ha!
UPDATE: To do In My World’s from before I was writing on my blog, I need some place where I can see like the headlines for each day going back to the 2000 elections. Anyone know of a good place online (all I know of is the microfilm at the library)?
Skullduggery!
Just as I was closing the gap on Scrappleface (down to 6% separating us from 8.5%), some site called Protein Wisdom comes out of nowhere and bounds into second in a couple hours. Skullduggery, I say! Skullduggery!
Anyway, keep voting for me because it is right and just and I told you to.
ENDORSEMENTS:
There are so few votes in the Best of the Top 100 – 250 Blogs category that we can push Meryl Yourish into the top spot. Win one for the jooooos.
I’m adding to my endorsements Bill Whittle of EjectEjectEject for Best Essayist because he writes good and there is something about his picture on his blog that makes him look so cool – though I can’t quite put my finger on it…
INDC Journal has my endorsement for Best New Blog.
The Flying Space Monkey has my endorsement for Best of the Top 500 – 1000 Blogs.
Blackfive has my endorsement for Best Military Blog.
Michelle Malkin has my endorsement for Best Media/Journalist Blog against the evil, evil Best of the Web. There is little chance of her winning now, but maybe we can at least rob Best of the Web of having a 50% mandate.
For Best Overall Blog, I now support NRO’s The Corner which has the God among men Jonah Goldberg (whom I have no plans to kidnap the dog of) and America’s favorite curmudgeon, John Derbyshire. It’s close to number one, so vote!
Bribes for more endorsements will still be considered.
If Western Society Is Destroyed, All Non-Muslims Are Killed, and the Entire World Comes Under a Theocratic Islamist Rule, Then the Terrorists Will Have Won
An Editorial By Frank J.
I know it has become a cliché to say that if this or that happens then “the terrorists will have won,” but I’m convinced that, if Western Society is destroyed, all non-Muslims are killed, and the entire world comes under a theocratic Islamist rule, then the terrorists will have won. You may say I’m grandstanding with such a statement, to which I respond, “SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!”
“If you find yourself confronted by Allah, don’t panic; an Allah can sense fear and it just makes it angrier.”
I seriously think that, if the terrorists killed us all off and put the world under the rule of mad mullahs, they would declare victory. You might think that’s hyperbole, but don’t you think that if America is razed and Islam the only religion in existence, the terrorists will find that as cause to celebrate?
I know, most of you think that, as long as we have curbside check in, then the terrorists haven’t won – and that’s probably true. It’s just I believe that, if the terrorists start running around our country killing people and blowing up buildings, someone needs to say something against that or they may win. If the President is replaced by an Ayatollah, then dude, that’s a problem. You have to make noise about this sort of thing, or, I dare say, the terrorists will win.
So, what’s the chance that the terrorists will destroy Western Society, kill all non-Muslims, and place the entire world under a theocratic Islamist rule, and, in my opinion, thus win? Well, it’s a lot of zeros following a decimal and ending in a one. I don’t feel like writing it all out, but that one after all the zeros means there is a chance. And, if there’s one thing Americans don’t like, it’s terrorists winning. So what to do?
First off, make sure democracy isn’t replaced with an Islamist theocracy. If you suspect that is happening, find the nearest police officer and tell him. Also, buy some duct tape; terrorists fear that for some reason. Finally, support the military in killing all terrorists. I’m pretty sure terrorists have to be living to win, so, if they’re all rotting corpses being chewed on by dogs, we’ll be plenty safe.
Now, despite the culture and technology of the terrorists being inferior to ours in every measurable way, they think they can beat us because of Allah. This could be a problem. Do we have a way to bring down Allah? Silver bullets, maybe? Anyway, if you find yourself confronted by Allah, don’t panic; an Allah can sense fear and it just makes it angrier.
Sorry to be going over old points, but I really believe that, if Western Society is destroyed, all non-Muslims are killed, and the entire world comes under a theocratic Islamist rule, then the terrorists will have won, and I also believe it’s worth pointing out. Furthermore, if the terrorists go to Vegas and play Blackjack and are dealt a King and an Ace while the dealer is showing a six, then the terrorists will have won – but to a lesser degree.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us – though is still available to replace William Safire if anyone from the NY Times is reading – and is the author of such books as “If You Don’t Buy This Book, the Terrorista Will Have Won” and “Queer Eye for the Queer Guy Who Isn’t Quite as Queer as the Other Queer Guys” (I just wrote the foreward to that one; long story).
Why Does a Nice Guy Like Me Keep Making Enemies?
Look at this muckadoo; he takes an example of where I was asking my readers a question and not trying to be funny to show that I’m not funny. Sounds like he needs a beating with a winner’s stick.
Why is there so much hatred out there? Not enough beatings, that’s why.
UPDATE: I think tbogg needs our help. Write him an e-mail (<a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMaining why he is a muckadoo and CC it to me. I’ll post the best e-mails.
Maybe he’ll see the light and be our new best friend! Hooray!
No No! Don’t Poison Yushchenko
As was suspected, someone poisoned Yushchenko (the good Viktor). For real democracy reform, you can’t poison each other (unless you vote to poison each other… but the majority wouldn’t vote to poison Yushchenko because they like him). I suggest that, in the future, we have Jimmy Carter as an election monitor with his job to try the food and drink of each candidate to make sure it isn’t poisoned. When Carter finds a legitimate case of a candidate trying to poison another, he can then be replaced by Bill Clinton.
