It has come to my attention that some people were offended by the bawdy nature of my first post. I wanted to issue a written apology, but then I thought – no. That’s simply NOT enough to heal the scars. In order to make up for my transgression, I need to perform a genuine act of contrition to prove the sincerity and depth of my regret.
But of what should such an act consist?
I ponder thusly:
- Be more like Frank J., i.e. go to church, study the Bible, and post crude mockeries of what I learn.
- Re-enact “The Passion of the Christ”, sans stunt double.
- Be more like Frank J., i.e. pee on my cat’s head.
- Get Frank J. drunk enough to triple-post.
- Brand my chest with a big, red letter “A” – for “asshat”.
- Tattoo “I’m a complete pinky-toe-hole” on my forehead.
- Stop capitalizing the word “I” so as to become as lovable as SarahK.
- Vow to never blend another puppy again as long as I live.
- No, wait… that’s from Instapundit’s list. Nevermind.
- Chemical castration, thus preventing the inheritable portion of my evil from being inflicted on generations of bloggers yet unborn.
- Do volunteer work at a homeless shelter and NOT murder any of the clients.
- Oops. Instapundit again. Sorry.
- Watch “Barney & Friends” videos until I learn how to play nice.
- Or slit my wrists, whichever comes first.
- Heh. I said “first”.
- I said “Heh”, too. Get out of my head, Instapundit!
- Keep my posts focussed and on-topic, instead of letting them scamper about like a pack of demented ferrets.
- Suck on a 9-volt battery. Scream. Spit. Repeat.
Eh. Screw it. Just send me the bill for your psychotherapy and we’ll call it even.
Meanwhile, do you think it would help if I changed my “posted by” name to “Harvey NSFW”?
First!
I’m not offended, try harder!!
Do they call they hobos ‘clients’ at the homeless shelter? I’m not sure.
I’m not offended yet, either! Don’t be upset, though. Just keep tryin. You’ll get it eventually. hehe
lol, pinkytoe-hole. add a Frankalanche to my blog, and i like this Harvey guy.
Ya know what I hate? I hate when I’m scolding my kids and just as I go to make some profoundly obnoxious parental statement, they go and do something so utterly and inappropriately funny, I can’t help but laugh and the moment is lost forever. I suspect your mother would understand my lament. 😉
You know, I was much more offended by the “Happy Dance” post than anything in your first one.
When are you going to appologize for getting that penguin drunk?
It’s not that we were offended, Harvey… heck, I’ve even been inside a few strip clubs in my life. I’ve actually had a lapdance or two before… GASP!
It’s not inappropriate, it’s just not what IMAO used to be about, and a few of us—maybe more than a few—happen to be, well, you know, resistant to change. (Another shock!)
I’m sure IMAO will continue to be funny long into the future, and will continue to gain in readership. And I will give it a shot for a while, and might even come around to liking the new format.
In the short run, however, I paraphrase myself:
Bring back the (old) funny!
Get rid of the shark or at least stop jumping over it!
Dearest HArvey;
I am not offended. Keep up the funny stuff. Great humor is going to offend some people some of the time. If you don’t piss off somebody at some point, then you are not being cynical enough. For the people who didn’t like it, then pass it up. Read old Peanuts comic strips.
Danjo
I want my funny!!!!!
I do not understand this whole “we want the old PG rated IMAO back”… sincerely, the kids don’t surf IMAO! they surf porn and smoke crack!
keep up with the funny stuff Harvey, and if you want to get some kids to read your post you are going to have to post some pictures of this lapdance…
I’m not offended either because I know this comes from a 6ft. white wascally wabbit.
I was offended.
I’ve never heard such horrible words in my life.
Your apology was insufficient.
Write something funny.
Make me laugh funny-man, make me laugh.
* Or slit my wrists, whichever comes first.
Remember… down the block, not across the street!
screw that, people who are offended by such things don’t matter
Hey Frank J and Harvey:
Would you please tweak something so I can use View > Text Size > Largest and get some results?
Yur stuff would be much funnier if I could actually read what the hell you wrote without getting noseprints on the monitor.
On behalf of the visually impaired,
Dave
Bawdy? Offended? Not by half. Ok, IMAO has been squeaky clean up to now, but its a new day dawning. I wouldn’t want this place to devolve into a trashblog like a certain DC female-for-hire’s did, but please! A bit of naughty is just fine with me. Even two bits. But not 3.
Which reminds me of this joke about these guys getting mustered out of the Navy …
Offended? I think by now it’s a well established fact that Frank’s readers are not the easily offended type. This comes down to preference. This blog is known for it’s political satire and mildly naughty buffoonery so it comes as no surprise that a bawdier type of humor or that which is unrelated to politics would garner a few comments. (Maybe Harvey should have had Howard Dean doing the lap dancing–but I digress–)
In the end, Frank will do what he wants, his new bloggers will do what they want (with His Lordship’s approval, of course…hehe) and the readers will do what they want to do. Change always brings more change–some will leave but I’ve no doubt many many more will join the ranks of the highly amused IMAO fan club.
oops. that was me.
I second Drew’s opinion.
No, no, no!
Blogging means never having to say you’re sorry!
As for that “Happy Dance”, somebody has got to teach Frank J. how to get his crunk on properly!
So what you’re saying is that a little extra spice is fine, but the funny should be more political/topical/current-events-oriented?
I’ll see what I can do.
Oh, and technically, the lap-dance post WAS topical, since the conversation mentioned in the intro occurred at a party where Frank was in attendance.
Heh.