The evil of Representative Tom DeLay had been reaching my ears through my fish friends (I can talk to fish). Apparently he’s been involved in perhaps more than the regular amount of malfeasance you’d expect from a politician. But who could stop him?
This sounds like a job for…

AQUAMAN!!!
I heard he was having a meeting on a yacht (YES!!) with my evil, Republican arch-nemesis Black Manta. The yacht had been given to DeLay by a lobbyist, and I just knew the meeting was about how to get even more money by abusing his position.
Too bad an aquatic superhero was on to his schemes!
I decided to take them by the element of surprise. First, I needed two leashes that would fit sturgeons. Luckily, I had tons of those. So I tackled two sturgeons and got the leashes on them. Then I put a foot on each sturgeon and commanded them to swim as fast as they could towards the yacht. Just as we were about to the yacht, I told them to, “Leap! Leap, ye sturgeons! Leap!”
It worked! I was sailing in the air right over the yacht. They were going to be so surprised… if it weren’t for some metal jutting out into my path. Or, at least I think that’s what hit me. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital. Luckily, a Coast Guard helicopter spotted me lying unconscious in the water since I wear a bright orange shirt (actually, that’s not luck; I learned that bright orange was a good idea early on in my career on account of the number of times I ended up unconscious, floating in the water).
You won this time, DeLay and Black Mantis, but I’ll get you soon!
This is Aquaman, signing off.