Can you even parody this?
Click on the picture to see the full leaflet and find out why fish are smart!
It’s people with a stupid view and acting on it, but I can’t be any funnier than they are themselves. This is beyond parody. It’s absolutely hilarious, and I can’t improve on it.
PETA says they’re only going to give this to teenagers and adults, but the wording of it is obviously made to scare children (the leaflet ends with “Until your daddy learns that it’s not ‘fun’ to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He’s so hooked on killing defenseless animals that they could be next!”). Yet it’s so hard handed and idiotic, I can’t get angry at it. It just makes it funnier.
BTW, I could imagine being a little kid and telling my dad to stop killing fish and what his response would be:
“Well, if I don’t kill fish, I guess the only thing left for me to kill is… YOU!
Shouldn’t liberals be offended by this? It is pretty sexist. Women can fish, too. I mean, I never seen it, but I believe it is physically possible. My mother even has a fishing license… though only so my dad can drag her out into the middle of nowhere (and there are plenty of nowheres in Idaho to find the middle of) at four in the morning and catch twice the legal limit.
Oh! I have an idea on how to make this funnier! Have the comic end with Aquaman beating up the father.
Yeah, I still got it.
(hat tip to RightWingNews which has a link to PETA’s first comic: Mommy Kills Animals!)
Several years ago, here in NY, PETA tried to get the town of Fishkill to change it’s name because it was insensitive to fish. Apparently no one told them that a) the “Fish” part of the name was a family name, and b) “kill” is a word for a creek or stream (Dutch? maybe)
Oh – FIRST!
But animals eat animals.
We are only killing the animal killers.
BTW, I could imagine being a little kid and telling my dad to stop killing fish and what his response would be:
“Well, if I don’t kill fish, I guess the only thing left for me to kill is… YOU!
My dad would have said “Son, I have to kill them, they don’t like you eating them alive.”
Yeah the line “Until your daddy learns that it’s not ‘fun’ to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He’s so hooked on killing defenseless animals that they could be next!” is rich, considering that Peta is known to euthanize 85% of the animals it takes in, yet nearby shelters manage to find homes for almost the same number.
That’s right spacemonkey, if PETA considers animals equal to man, aren’t we merely punishing killers? Remember Genesis 9:6, “Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.” Then again, PETA is the epitome of moonbat liberalism, so they probably don’t believe in capital punishment.
Animals shouldn’t be allowed to kill other animals!
We should keep them separated from each other and make them eat vegetables and plant protein, like nature intended.
That pamplet really makes you think.
Think about what it would be like to put a hook through a PETArd’s hand and yank him around.
“That’s not tofu candy Starshine – it is a nasty hook! NOOOOOO!”
Heh.
Personally, I’m a catch-and-release kind of guy, but only for fish. However, I club every PETARD that I catch and throw them up on the bank. They’re actually quite funny when ther’re twitching around, gasping for the breath that is not going to come!
Steve, actually the best way to eat fish is cut them alive into little cubes, serve with wasabi and soy sauce, and eat them as sashimi!
Nothing beats eating fresh sashime while the fish watch us with their dying breath!!!
Maybe some Right to Life group could produce a comic for children:
Imagine you are warm and safe in your room and then someone comes along and fills your room with hundreds of gallons of a solution that burns your skin. Then a giant scalpel starts cutting you into pieces which are sucked up by a giant vaccum.
While your pro-choice parents are hooked on killing, you should keep your brothers and sisters away from them. They could be next!!!!
I wonder if the MSM would ignore that story…
JMK, that gave me shivers.
You have to kill them, otherwise they keep flopping around in the frying pan. Splattering all that hot cooking oil is dangerous.
You all are sick. Fishing should be a crime. I’ll stick to clubbing seals like nature intended.
I have a bumper sticker on my tailgate that reads P.E.T.A. (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals). I keep getting flipped off, and I can’t decide if it’s from tree huggers who can read, or rednecks who can’t… go figure…
rightwingimmigrant
Sounds good, next time I am on the stream I will have to remember to bring some wasabi and soy sauce with me.
Steve
I like the skull & crossbones lure the dad has. I wonder where I can get one of those?
Kyle,
I thought that was cool too.
Amer-I-Can,
The PETA thing you mentioned reminds me of that misunderstanding involving the Protest Warriors at the Crawford pro-troops rally. The PETA slogan is in the same vein as Protest Warriors stuff, for example, “Say No to War…..unless a Democrat is President,” or “Stop the Vicious Spread of Wealth Creation! Vote Green, and lets all be poor and miserable equally!” or one of my personal faves, “End Overpopulation! Support Socialized Medicine.”
What pisses me off about this?
This next sentence is how I would have parodied it and they went and already put it in!!!
Children will read: “Imagine that a man dangles a piece of candy in front of you. … As you grab the candy, a huge metal hook stabs through your hand and you’re ripped off the ground. You fight to get away, but it doesn’t do any good… That would be an awful trick to play on someone, wouldn’t it?”
Bastids.
I can remember back in 1978, PETA was still real new and they were picketing the Montgomery County (Md.) Fair for running pig races. Not for butchering the smelly beasts and eating them fried, stuffed into their own intestines, slow roasted, pickled, baked and honey glazed (damn this diet, now I’m drooling), but for getting the fat things to actually run down a little lane to get a yummy treat.
They were protesting because, they said, it was “degrading” to the animals. Yep, “degrading” to critters that left to their own devices will roll in crap and eat their young.
Sheesh and other comments.
Who the hell fishes in a suit and tie? Can’t they get anything right?
And I offended, I am woman who fishes. Furthermore I don’t even do that sissy catch and release bs. If I catch a legal fish it is a dead fish.
I am woman watch me kill.
Just look how angry the guy is.
I’ll bet a fish killed his paw.
You know, they may be on to something. I fish pretty often…and lately I’ve been feeling this overwhelming urge to strangle the neighbors cat (it’s either due to the fishing…or the constant cat urine stain on my windshield every morning, not sure which).
Interesting article was written on it by one of my guest posters. You may be interested in it called, Fishing Father = Bloodthirsty Killer!
What is up with the White Male in a suit??!! What no blacks or hispanics fish??!! What a bunch of morons!
Give a man a fish, he’ll have a fish corpse for a day.
But teach a man to fish, and he’ll kill for the rest of his life.
All I want to know is…where can I buy one of those skull and crossbone lures that the fisherman has on his hat?
And somebody needs to teach that guy the right way to gut fish. If you do it like that then the fish ends up tasting something like a cross between a California condor and a bald eagle. No matter how many different ways I cook them, those birds taste terrible!
I have had peta-type people tell me that they don’t eat vegetables where the plant gets killed (carrots, taters, etc). After all, plants are people too!
Peta=Idjits
And if we aren’t meant to eat meat, why did God make it taste so good?
The comic says, “fish are really smart…they can even use tools.”
Tools? What kind of tools? I don’t know about you, but I don’t recall ever seeing a fish operating a drill press or a belt sander. Not even a simple screw driver.
We’ve had pet fish for years. The smartest one we ever had jumped over a tank barrier to get at another fish to kill it. This same fish, later isolated in his own tank, would spend hours standing on his own head threatening his image in a mirror on the bottom of the tank. My brother would also torment the fish by putting his finger on the glass- the fish would repeatedly bash his own head against the glass trying to eliminate the threatening finger.
The only tool I’ve ever seen a fish use is its own mouth, to make a pile of gravel.
‘Children will read: “Imagine that a man dangles a piece of candy in front of you. … As you grab the candy, a huge metal hook stabs through your hand and you’re ripped off the ground. You fight to get away, but it doesn’t do any good… That would be an awful trick to play on someone, wouldn’t it?” ‘
Whether or not that is an awful trick really depends on whether the person in question is a member of PETA?
Stop murdering my innocent brothers and sisters, you evil smelly hippies!
Coleman, don’t let your urges for the neighbor’s cat create doubt and confusion in your mind; that will only ruin your angling experience. What those urges are really trying to tell you: time to take up bow hunting!
So is the guy fishing in a suit because PETA people are so dumb they think all fishermen must be conservatives and all conservatives must live in their suits, or is it because they can’t get over their hatred of capitalism and business in any form long enough to make an anti-fishing comic book and drew the suit out of reflex?
And yes, I am the master of paragraph-length sentences.
The next time I need a pile of gravel, maybe I’ll hire a couple fish.
Dirkwood, the Master Baiter.
What do fish, hippies, and the French have in common?
The all smell terrible.
Fish who are impaled and thrown back in the water swim away with a horrible bloody wound, and with no fish doctors around to take care of them, many slowly die!
Fish doctors.
You know, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that PeTA is actually a sophisticated prank by someone who wants to see how stupid they can act and still get contributions…
Or maybe those are Democrats, I forget.
Wow… Colonel Blake looks pissed!
He not only has a skull-and-crossbones lure, but a spider and a scorpion as well, I believe… what else?
Yeah he does look a little like Colonel Blake, but I also thought I noticed a passing resemblence to a sober, younger, thinner Ted Kennedy – a sober Ted Kennedy? What was I thinking?