Well, the good news is that the horribly corrupt and badly-implemented Commission on Human Rights (aka “Committee of Human Rights Violators”) at the United Nations has been abolished. Hooray.
The bad news is that it has been replaced with the equally-corrupt and badly-implemented United Nations Human Rights Council. Boo.
Since y’all have probably been on the edge of your seats with the 65 (since when has it been 65?) picks in March Madness, I figured that there’d be a good idea to hold a contest to predict the 47 nations you think will be on the new UNHRC.
Post your guesses in the comments. Winner will receive a custom set of M&M’s that say “I READ IMAO.US” Or something else that says IMAO if it’s much funnier, like “IMAO BITES.”
Okay, how about some rules?
- One roster per person, and no changes once you’ve posted them.
- If nobody gets all 47, then the roster with the most correct answers will win.
- Ties will be resolved by a random drawing, because even I couldn’t understand the goofy system the World Baseball Classic used.
- There is no entry fee, so if FrankJ hits you up for five bucks via PayPal for this thing I have no idea what he’s talking about. (I’m still getting 20%, right?)
- In a fight between Aquaman and the United Nations Human Rights Commission, nobody wins.
- “The Kingdom of Gondor” is not a country, you moron.
- If you are allergic to candy or diabetic and die from eating these things, it’s your own darn fault. We’ll bury you with them, okay?
- People who need more rules than these to handle a simple fun contest will be disqualified.
I originally considered holding a contest to predict who would be the target of their first resolution, but come on… isn’t that obvious?
Mordor’s got a lock on the council chair. And by Mordor I mean France.
Let me be the FIRST to offer Mordor as the country to lead this commitee as you won’t let me use Gondor. Sauron has a spotless record on human rights.
You should just give the prize to the first person to actually list 47 countries.
These countries are locks:
“Palestine” (this is the U.N. we’re talking about)
Cuba
China
North Korea
Saudi Arabia
Iran
Sudan
Libya
Venezuela
Vietnam
Egypt
Zimbabwe
all countries ending in “stan” (this gets me to 47, doesn’t it?)
Master Shake is definitely on the right track here. Lessee, now:
Cuba
China
North Korea
Saudi Arabia
Iran
Sudan
Libya
Venezuela
Vietnam
Egypt
Zimbabwe
Syria
Belarus
Pakistan
Myanmar (or Burma)
Nigeria
Liberia
Kampuchea (or Cambodia)
Indonesia
Congo
Rwanda
Burundi
Algeria
Sierra Leone
Sudan
Uzbekistan
Turkmenistan
Equitorial Guinea
Swaziland
Eritrea
Ethiopia
Laos
Canada (they love to put Canada on these commissions, even if Canada isn’t big on human rights violations)
Austria (in honor of Kurt Waldheim)
Russia
Colombia
Norway (same reason as Canada)
Mali (home of Timbuktu!)
Tanzania (I have no idea)
Angola (I still have no idea)
Uganda (in loving memory of Idi Amin)
Jamaica (in loving memory of Michael Manley)
Serbia (in loving memory of Slobodan Milosevic)
Paraguay (one of two land-locked South American countries)
Bolivia (the other)
Trinidad & Tobago (run by drug lords)
El Salvador (because I need a 47th country)
SVJim,
I’m glad to see you put Cambodia on there, especially with the tragic passing of that great humanitarian Pol Pot (shouldn’t that be the name of a left-wing blog?)
In all seriousness (cuz I want “IMAO BITES” M&M’s):
France
Germany
United Kingdom
United States
Canada
Mexico
Brazil
Iran
China
Loas
Zimbabwe
Saudi Arabia
Cuba
Austria
Philippines
Venezuela
Thailand
Australia
Russia
Ukraine
Belize
Malta
Portugal
Spain
Japan
Libya
Liberia
Sudan
South Africa
Cambodia
Burma (although people like to call it Myanmar for some strange reason)
India
Pakistan
Latvia
Lithuania
Finland
Argentina
Ecuador
Belgium
Netherlands
Ireland
Malaysia
North Korea
South Korea
Panama
Colombia
Sri Lanka
Y’know, there are not that many legitimate-ass countries out there. Besides us, most of Europe, Japan, and Australia, everyone else is like total human-rights-violating barbarians!
Ummm a few years ago “they” decided to make 64th and 65th teams play each other to get into tourny.
Wait, laurence, do you give, um… priveledges to fellow zionist conspirators? Anyhow…
USA
UK
France (I have know idea why)
China(goddamn commies)
Russia (see above)
India
Spain
Portugal
Germany
Italy
Japan
South Korea
North Korea(see (see above))
Canada(Maple syrup ,eh?)
Australia
South Africa
Vietnam (see (see(see above)))
Thailand
Phillipines
Egypt
Poland
Myanmar
Cambodia
Malaysia
Saudi Arabia
Turkey
Morrocco
Norway
Sweden
Finland
Ukraine
Mexico
Brazil
Venezuela
Denmark
Argentina
Colombia
Chile
Peru
Nigeria
Ethiopia
Zimbabwe
Sudan
Iran
Pakistan
Afghanistan
Israel
(If any Duplicates, use Indonesia,kazakhstan, and Hungary, in that order)
Burkina Faso
Egypt
Ethiopia
Gabon
Guinea
Kenya
Mauritania
Nigeria
South Africa
Sudan
Swaziland
Togo
Zimbabwe
People’s Republic of China
India
Indonesia
Iran
Japan
Jordan
Malaysia
Nepal
Pakistan
Qatar
Republic of Korea
Saudi Arabia
Sri Lanka
Armenia
Belarus
Hungary
Romania
Russian Federation
Ukraine
Argentina
Brazil
Costa Rica
Cuba
Dominican Republic
Honduras
Mexico
Peru
Australia
Canada
Finland
France
Germany
United Kingdom
United States of America
I listed 48. The last one is an alternate.
Andorra (not really, I just like saying Andorra) I really meant Argentina
Australia
Brazil
Cambodia
Canada
Chad
Chile
China
Denmark
Ecuador
Egypt
Ethiopia
Finland
Fwance
Germany
India
Iran
Israel
Italy
Japan
Lebanon
Mexico
Nigeria
North Korea
Norway
Pakistan
Panama
Peru
Poland
Portugal
Russia
Saudi Arabia
Slovenia
South Africa
South Korea
Spain
Sudan
Sweden
Switzerland
Syria
Thailand
The Chezch Republic
Turkey
Ukraine
United Kingdom
United States of America
Zimbabwe
Haliburton
China
Nepal
India
Chad
Indonesia
Afganistan
Czech Republic
Egypt
Saudi Arabia
France
Mongolia
Hungary
Turkey
Italy
Niger
Somolia
Kenya
Russia
Congo (or what ever they call it)
Uraguay
Brazil
Germany
UK
Isreal
Morocco
Lybia
Yeman
Canada
Mexico
Vietnam
North Korea
Switzerland
Netherlands
Greece
Zambia
South Africa
Norway
Iceland
Philipines
Belaruse
Georgia
Jordan
Iran
Australia
New Zeland
Tanzania
Holland
I’m guessing that the UN will go the lazy way and just pick alphabetically:
Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Antigua and Barbuda
Argentina
Armenia
Australia
Austria
Azerbaijan
Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus
Belgium
Belize
Benin
Bhutan
Bolivia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Botswana
Brazil
Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria
Burkina Faso
Burundi
Cambodia
Cameroon
Canada
Cape Verde
Central African Republic
Chad
Chile
China
Colombia
Comoros
Congo (Republic of the)
Costa Rica
CÙte d’Ivoire
Croatia
Cuba
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
Democratic Republic of the Congo
I’m Josh, and I approve the above message.
jpers36@yahoo.com
(didn’t get my email address for some reason)