Some of you may have noticed that besides the Mahmoud Prays and Friday Catblogging and the shameless plugging of my Pickle Tales storytelling competition (I’m in the finals next week!), I’ve been kind of absent from here.
However, I’d like to take a moment to explain…

Continue reading ‘Where have I been?’ »

Hillary Clinton demanded that President Bush get America out of Iraq before the end of his term. So, the Democrats do have a plan: Tell the President to solve all the problems. It’s lucky we gave them power.
Seriously, though, Hillary is planning on being president after Bush, and the last thing she wants to have to deal with is a serious problem – she has our health care to screw up, ya know, and that’s hard with a war going on. Also, Hillary demanded that Bush make sure the economy is on the rise before he leaves office (but not until just before he leaves office) and that Bush leave mints on the pillows before exiting the White House. In response, President Bush said he’d like Hillary to choke and die before the end of his term.
But don’t we all?

Jermain Jackson, the brother of pop singer Michael Jackson stated that he hopes Michael will one day convert to Islam. Says Jermain, “Mohammed and Michael have a lot in common. They both seem to enjoy the company of young children and people are always misrepresenting them in public.”
Jermain concedes that the example is extreme as nobody in Denmark has recently drawn defamatory pictures of Michael.
The prophet Mohammed married his wife Aisha when she was a six years old. Michael, who has been accused of inappropriate conduct with children said, “Even Mohammed didn’t know the pain of being turned on by one of your own Rubby Buddies.”
Jermain, a devout Muslim who came in second in the recent Big Brother TV show said “I lost to Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. But that’s okay. I think she was more a victim of racism than I was and deserved to win.”
Michael is said to be taking the idea of conversion seriously. Said one assistant close to Michael, “I think he’s concerned about whether he might have to wear another burqa.”

Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton today made a crowd laugh by telling them that she knows how to deal with evil men. The laughs lasted 31.4 seconds, (not that anyone was timing). People suspected that she was joking about handling evil Bill.
Said a visitor who saw the Clinton speech. “It really gave me a feeling of confidence to know that if the president of Iran cheats on Hillary, that she would be able to deal with it — no problem.”
Another onlooker agreed. “We don’t care if Kim Jong Il decides to nuke the entire Pacific Asian rim. We want to know if Hillary could handle him seeing other women.”
Hillary is leading in the polls over the other presidential candidate, Obama Barrack, who is fighting against accusations that he is African American.

I gave help to the Hillary campaign, so I might as well not show favorites and help the Obama campaign with some slogan ideas as well:
Obama ’08: White people say I’m articulate.
Obama ’08: If you can get my named confused with Osama, maybe the terrorists will too and listen to me!
Obama ’08: You don’t know much about me, but I don’t know much about you so it’s all good.
Obama ’08: Same old liberalism but with a big goofy smile.
Obama ’08: My middle name is integrity! (that’s what Hussein means in Arabic)
Obama ’08: I’m non-threatening!
Obama ’08: Charges that I went to a madrassa in Indonesia are lies of the infidel!
Obama ’08: Not a power mongering shrew.
Obama ’08: Look! I’m black!

Well, Mahmoud Abbas is up at the Davos World Economic Forum gathering, so he’s not going to let himself get photographed while praying for Israel’s destruction.
However, there’s still this guy:

President Bush today maintained that the United States has no plans for attacking Iran. .
Declared the President, “Sure we have missiles and tanks lined up and ready to go. And the B1 Bombers have their coordinates set, but we are using all this for peaceful purposes. By having these airplanes ready, we ensure that we save energy by not being indoors all the time and running the air conditioning. Saving energy is definitely a peaceful purpose bragged the President.” Most of the B1 Bombers are EnergyStar compliant.
The president also asserted that with all the savings, he could use all that money to “Wipe Iran Off the Map.’ Some translators, who had difficulty understanding the president, think he might have used the word “World Peace” instead of deadly swath of Iranian destruction.
Tapes are being reviewed.
In response to this statement, the United Nations weighed the option of officially rebuking Israel.
More from IMAO News as this develops.

The first Obama smear turned out to be fake. For those of you who don’t know, there were rumors that Obama had attended a madrassa as a youngster. Turns out that it isn’t true. What a shame.
Who knows, maybe one day we will have a candidate who graduated from a Madrassa like UC Berkeley or something.
Anyway, after doing much research, I am starting to unearth more and more dirt on this Obama character.
This is too good and will surely vault IMAO to international fame.
OBAMA SMEAR #2
Below the fold

Continue reading ‘Obama Smear #2’ »

Hugh Hewitt has a pledge you can sign up for that reads:

If the United States Senate passes a resolution, non-binding or otherwise, that criticizes the commitment of additional troops to Iraq that General Petraeus has asked for and that the president has pledged, and if the Senate does so after the testimony of General Petraeus on January 23 that such a resolution will be an encouragement to the enemy, I will not contribute to any Republican senator who voted for the resolution. Further, if any Republican senator who votes for such a resolution is a candidate for re-election in 2008, I will not contribute to the National Republican Senatorial Committee unless the Chairman of that Committee, Senator Ensign, commits in writing that none of the funds of the NRSC will go to support the re-election of any senator supporting the non-binding resolution.

Dean Barnett also has an FAQ on the subject.
You know how I feel that internet petitions are even more useless than internet polls, but this is a bit different in that you have bloggers (including Glenn Reynolds – though he’s not a Republican) and blog readers who tend to be more politically involved and make more campaign contributions than the average citizens making an ultimatum against the Republican leadership. And it’s gotten over 16,000 signatures so far.
I’m not one of them. I’m still of the opinion that the troop morale won’t be hurt because none of them are paying attention to the idiots in Congress. Also, I don’t think the enemy will be encouraged because by now even they have probably started ignoring their impotent cheering squad in America. So I’m all for letting the babies have their bottles (and I think President Bush should say so; actually, it would benefit the dialog in Washington if he referred to Congressmen as “babies” more often). It’s better than them doing something binding to hurt the war effort.
John Hawkins is also against the pledge, though I don’t know if I buy all of his argument that, if we do this, then next we’ll be doing ultimatums over stem cell research and amnesty. The war has always been a special issue (just look at the blogosphere to see all the bloggers who disagree over so many other topics who have united to support the war), so I don’t think extreme measure on its behalf will seep over elsewhere.
Anyway, that’s what I think. I thought I’d tell you about the pledge if you wanted to sign, though, because the first purpose of IMAO is to inform. Frankly, I’d be more interested in a pledge people could sign saying they would punch liberals in their dumb monkey faces as soon as they saw them. Then liberals would take note of all the people who signed saying they will punch them, and thus the liberals will take measures to keep their dumb monkey faces out of public. That’s something that would benefit this country.

Had enough fun coming up with Hillary ’08 campaign slogans?* Well, Jim Treacher (now blogging at The Daily Gut with everyone’s favorite HuffPoster) is trying to come up with a name for a Hillary Clinton fan club.
Rodham’s Rangers?
Hillary’s Hellions?
I dunno; that one is a challenge.
UPDATE:
I had missed the spirit that Treacher’s fan club names were made in. Here’s another try:
“Leaders Interested in Associating with Rodham”
* The correct answer is “No. I could never be done with that. It’s pure comedy gold!”

Apparently, some right-wing blogs have not been supportive of the Hillary Clinton campaign and have scared away her BlogAd. You’ll notice that Senator Hillary Clinton’s ad is still here at IMAO as we acknowledge her bid for the presidency for what it is: A beautiful celebration of democracy. Hillary Clinton is one of many choices that will be available to the American people, and the more options we are given, the better our democratic nations strives. So, not only is a Hillary Clinton campaign representative of the advancement women have made in this world, but the choice it gives us is an acknowledgment of one of God’s greatest gifts to us: Free will.
Also, I would like to remind whomever is in charge of buying the ads that you’ll save money at IMAO by purchasing ad space at larger increments than just a week. It’s a great deal! Don’t pass it up and be kicking yourself if Hillary doesn’t make it through the primary!