Since we may be losing Hillary after next Tuesday, we better get busy making fun of her before she gets passed over for the VP nod, goes postal, wastes 20 people at the Democratic convention and completes her inevitable downward skid from Britney-pathetic to referred-to-by-three-names tragic.
I got this postcard in the mail prior to the Wisconsin primaries, which prominently features Hillary’s best “I’m looking forward to the bright tomorrows that my administration will bring” look:
My first thought was that if you turn her around, she’d look right at home on a Communist Party flag:
And as I continued to gaze at this not-airbrushed-enough visage, I began to wonder… what is she thinking about in this picture?
My answers in the extended entry.
Yours in the comments, please.
“Obama, Obama, bo Bama, Bonana fanna fo fama, Fee fi mo Mama… Obama!”
“Shake the hand, kiss the baby… shake the hand, kiss the baby… oh, HELL! I’m NEVER going to remember that one!”
“Marx, Engels, Lenin, Clinton… and we’ll call it Mt. Commore.”
“I am SO hot! I would totally do me!”
“Election… implants… liposuction… Billectomy… not necessarily in that order.”
“I don’t know what Bill saw in Monica. Heck, I can hide an entire BOX of cigars.”
“Hollow him out and use him as a wetsuit.”
“Oh yeah! … nothing beats that ‘fresh battery buzz'”.
“If this doesn’t work out, I can probably still get Castro’s old job.”
“I’ve had this dang Carrie Underwood song stuck in my head since 2006, and ya know what? I’m all right with that.”
That’s the classic Marx / Lenin pose. But she could also be staring wistfully across the Pacific at China where all her money connections are waiting. Oh how they’re gonna be pissed. Nice Friday night material !
Just keep staring straight ahead, maybe no one will smell it, and if they do, they probably just blame it on Bill again.
You mean like she’s got the “walkin’ farts?”
‘Cause she be walkin’ soon.
“But he’s black and stupid…”
I am SOOOO pissed at Satan right now. The deal was I get to be president until I die at age 80, and then he gets my soul, as though I had one to give. And what’s taking that hitman so long? The target’s itinerary is published and everything – how difficult can it be to locate and neutralize him?
“Meow meow meow meow…”
“My health care plan will work for so many people- after the culling, of course.”
“Now that I think of it, Lewinsky’s probably a size 14… And she clearly likes lotion…”
“Y’know, that chicken didn’t taste a thing like General Tso.”
“harvy should have switched my photo to black and white before he cropped my face and put it on commie mt. rushmore…”
Hillary can still win Texas! Don’t give up on her. Here’s my new favorite Hillary song. It is so sweet. Texas for Hillary Go Go Go :>) 🙂 :D) :*) :&D
You gotta be Scary Evil Monkey or somthin’ close
I am the dread pirate Rodham! There will be no
survivors! Many are here, I am here. But soon, you will not be here. The dread pirate Rodham takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares are about to come true! The dread pirate Rodham is here for your souls!
I coulda been a contender.
To all the girls I’ve loved before who traveled in and out my door
I’m glad they came so close, I dedicate this pose to all the girls I’ve loved before
To all the girls I’ve once caressed and may I say I’ve held the best
For helping to grow I owe a lot I know to all the girls I’ve loved before
The winds of change are always blowing and everytime I tried to stay
The winds of change continued blowing and they just carried me away
To all the girls who shared my life who now are someone else’s wife
I’m glad they came so close I dedicate this pose to all the girls I’ve loved before
To all the girls who cared for me who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart I’ll always be a part of all the girls I’ve loved before
The winds of change are always blowing…
[ strings ]
I am the President, Be the President, Feel the President… no wait that’s Bill.
Follow the bodies, heck these people are so stupid they can’t even follow the rhetoric.
I’ll get you my pretty and you little wife too. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
“No, we can’t.”
Too bad we used that plan on Vince Foster already, it was an excellent plan.
“Don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow… don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow… don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow…”
Repeat ad infinitum ’till you go insane.
“…there’s just never enough for me!”
It’s not a tax increase; it’s a revenue enhancement.
I know better than everybody else.
“There’s nothin like putting your brand new emotion chip on autopilot!”
Pretty Flowers
Yesterday, I saw a flower that was so pretty it made me happy.
When you see a flower like that you can’t help but smile.
Sad things happen to lots of people in this world.
But there isn’t anything you can do about it.
This can be a big sad world full of poo.
But you have to go on anyway.
Sometimes you just can’t undo the bad things.
You can’t stuff mean rain drops back into a cloud
no matter how much you might want to.
That’s why I’m always glad to see a pretty flower.
God put them here for us to help us move on.
Thanks for the flowers God. I love you.
It’s really amazing. When she has the just the right hair style, ya can’t hardly see the horns.
“I’m hoping for some change.”
“You know, maybe running as the wife of the former president isn’t as effective as the widow of the late president.”
“I am Margaret Thatcher… I am not. (tears)”
Hillary for V.P. – hmmmm – the Secret Service is directed to stop screening for weapons 1-hour before B. Hussein’s rally in Texas and there are still 6 months until the fascists convention? B. Hussein should hire his own security, then hire a food taster and sleep with a large caliber pistol under his pillow.
You like me you really like me. Yes you do, you have to like me, I order you to like me. Mawhhahahahhhahah
Hell’s
Iconoclastic
Little
Liar
Announces
Reproachfully
Your
Cash
Looks
Increasingly
Necessary
To
Our
Needs
(Sorry, it’s late and that’s the best I could do off the top of my head. Good night.)
Elinore, where did we go wrong?
One people
One nation
One Hillary
……..”You catch wild
pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and
putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin
to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are
used to coming every day, you put a fence down one
side of the place where they are used to coming.
When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the
corn again and you put up another side of the fence.
They get used to that and start to eat again you
continue until you have all four sides of the fence up
with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used
to the free corn, start to come through the gate to
eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.
Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They
run around and around inside the fence, but they a re
caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn.
They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to
forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.”
The young man then told the professor that is exactly
what he sees happening to America. The government
keeps pushing you toward Communism/socialism and keeps
spreading the free corn out in the form of programs
such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned
income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments
not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs,
etc. … All while we continually lose our
Freedoms … Just a little at a time.
Pay attention to every candidate’s real message then
vote for the ones who will stop putting corn on the ground.