So why does America hate conservatives? Is it our disdain for poor people? Our hatred for minorities? Or is everyone other than us just a bunch of homos?
Whatever the reason, I guess we need to find something else to do since we’re obviously no longer wanted to be involved in politics. I say we roam the countryside helping those in need and dispensing justice all the while avoiding the law as McCain vows to hunt us down.
Any other ideas?
Well, McCain is friends with Fred Thompson… who, for me, will work as a VP. Obviously, the plan is to have all the evil libs and “moderates” praise McCain into office…But McCain is evil and OLD– vote for a conservative VP, then the the mean old bugger suffers from an old age condition before he can do anything. Poor man. VP Thomson becomes president.
Roam the countryside? Sounds good to me.
Well, we could consolidate and silently amass stregnth in the background. Then in the gravest moment lunge forth and assert out selves.
Or form a militia and ride out the nightmare.
Although to be fully honest I’m warming up to McCain, I just keep looking at Obama and Hillary and getting spooked.
How about we stage a coup? That sounds so cool! All hail dictator-for-life Frank J!
#4,
Petraeus did come across as a pretty good guy…
I thought about warming up to McCain, not that I will vote dhimi, but last night my left wing liberal ex said that McCain might not be so bad as President.
aaarrrggghhh
I call Batman. Who’s going to be Aquaman?
I say, let Frank be Robin Hood and we could all be his Merry Men. Harvey can be Zorro!!!!
“I say, let Frank be Robin Hood and we could all be his Merry Men.”
Doesn’t Robin Hood take from the rich and give to the poor? Sounds more like Obama than Frank…
And it will be hard to be “Merry” men with big governments hand in our pockets taking our dough and strangling what is left of our manhood.
Me wnat eat cardboard!
I say we form up into 4-man teams and roam the country in obnoxious vans. If anyone has a problem, if no one else can help, and if they can find us, maybe they can hire… The A-Team. Er, I mean… us.
Let’s invade a country, Canada wouldn’t put up much of a defense — their Army couldn’t take on millions of well-armed conservatives. Plus we would then be in control of their oil reserves. I bet we could get Alaska to join us if we promised to drill in Alaska. Then we cut off oil to America and watch the libs whine.
I think they are trying to use atrition through enforcement against us conservatives.
In some languages the word Nate means Hysteria. Who knew?
…I just keep looking at Obama and Hillary and getting spooked.
RACIST!
#11 – Posted by: Rich on February 6, 2008 11:00 AM
Yeah! The best one yet. Can I be Murdock!?
As John K pointed out all hope is not lost, (unless the deals McCain has struck include Huckabee (aka Jimmy Carter II) as his VP)because McCain is older then dirt, and they ain’t been low mileage years.
If he chooses an actual conservative for his veep, which of course would be the smartest way to get the conservatives to back him, the US might have a conservative president by early 2010.
Seriously what conservatives NEED to do (in the short run*) if McCain is the nominee is hold our noses, try to keep from puking and vote for McCain.
When you have NO good options, you gotta pull for the least worst option and given the choice of McCain and either Clinton/Obama, can any rational conservative arguement be made that McCain will be worse then the alternative.
Even the long run argument, ie let the Donks screw everything up so bad we get another 1994 style conservative congressional takeover, falls flat IMAO in that:
1) at least 2 SC Justices will be appointed before the next election (Ginsburg and Stevens).
2)Even 2 years with Democrats in control of both congress and the presidency is enough time to get through a healthcare takeover travesty that could break the economy for good
3) Social Security and Medicare MUST be addressed now. McCain is an idiot on immigration, a complete @$$ on the first amendment and does not understand the Lafar curve, but he is spot on when it comes to spending control. Do you want Hillbama or McCain dealing with entitlement reform.
4) The war, the war, the war. Particularly if the Donks nominate Obama. Is the fact that McCain is a piss-on-the-conservative-wing RINO on other issue worth letting the stuffed shirt pull defeat out of the jaws of victory. That damage will last for 50 years or more.
South Park nailed this election to a T it loks like a choice between a turd sandwich (Hillary or Obama) and a giant Douche (McCain). Just remember that a douche is at least sometimes a useful item.
Someday I hope to vote FOR a president rather than against their opponent, but it looks like this ain’t the year.
One big difference between Liberals and Conservatives is that the latter are usually better at realizing that life involves trade offs rather than perfect solutions.
If the trade off of sending the Republican party a lesson about nominating a McCain is President Clinton/Obama, then the price is TOO HIGH.
/rant Gotta go shower with Lava soap again. I will NEVER forgive the Republican party for forcing me to defend John “die conservative scum” McCain if I live for another 100 years.
*In the long run, replacing the Republican party with a Conservative Party may be a good option, but it is way too late for 2008.
If we can;t beat ’em, join em:
1) Stop paying our mortgages and wait for our loans to be forgiven.
2) Stop working (and earning income) and collect the infinitely extended unemployment insurance. We will thus avoid the higher income taxes that are guaranteed to be imposed, and have some spare change left over from not having to pay our mortgages anymore.
3) Welfare, people, welfare.
4) Vote Democrat in 4 years with he rest of the idiots in this country so that the handouts will continue. (They have been buying votes for so many year in this way. Time to declare our votes are for sale too.)
5) Join a commune and brew us up some o’ that there biodiesel to run our scooters.
6) If you don’t know Spanish yet, time to get cracking on that. You’ll have plenty of spare time to study without that pesky job.
7) Prepare for the imminent arrival of our radical Muslim overlords, because who is going to stand up to them?
Starring Fred Thompson as Hannibal, Michael Steele as B.A. Baracus.
Help me out! Who would play Faceman and Murdock?
By the way #9 and #18 were mine. (Forgot to sign them in my zeal…)
Ron Paul as Murdock.
Well, seeing as how Conservatives have truly become American Ronin, I like Frank’s idea of roaming the countryside. As long as there is some justice dispensing and cool costumes, I’m in.
That Canada idea might have some merit. We do what our ancestors did when Europe got tooo wussy…….move somewhere new, kick out the inhabitants and enjoy a new untamed frontier for about 150 years until our great great grandkids become wusses and it begins again. Lets get mexico too so we can have warm beaches in the winter and all their inhabitants can move into the U.S. IN YOUR FACE LIBERAL AMERICA
People hate success. Think of all the people you know who hate Microsoft. People are beginning to hate Google. Conservatives are successful. We get all the hot chicks. Just think of it. We get Condoleezza Rice, Laura Ingraham, Mary Katharine Ham, and Michelle Malkin. Lefties get Madeline Albright, Helen Thomas, Molly Ivins (yeah, I know, she’s dead, but she can’t look any worse than she did when she was still around and bloviating), and Barbara Mikulski. It’s no wonder people hate us.
26 Teams of 4 could be effective. A team, B team C team, We could use Greek letters also.
But the vans should be obnoxious but identical.
The teams should dress a like one in olive jumpsuit, one in a tan jacket, one in a suit, one in black pant ans a lot of gold chains.
Give the impression that its the same team, fighting crime everywhere at once. Would help with any legal difficulties in the future too.
Doesn’t Robin Hood take from the rich and give to the poor? Sounds more like Obama than Frank…
Yes Robin Hood does take from the rich and gives to the poor!!!
According to the Washington Times November 23, 2007, the Democrats are touted to be among the Rich It could be why the Democrats had no problem getting campaign contributions and (real) Republicans did!!
But then who am I, just a lowly poor republican!!
Don’t nuke the moon just yet. We might need it someday when there is no place left on Earth for conservatives.
#25 – Posted by: spacemonkey on February 6, 2008 11:13 AM
Right.
#21 – Posted by: CraigO on February 6, 2008 11:11 AM
Of course.
Fred Thompson as Hannibal, Michael Steele as Baracus, Ron Paul as Murdock. Mitt Romney as Faceman?
In the words of the ever-wise Homer Simpson, we should live “under the sea. There’ll be no aggravations – just friendly crustaceans under the sea”. It had a catchy tune and a decent beat and we’ll be able to eat all the seafood we want. And Aquaman may actually be useful for once.
#28 – Posted by: Vote crotchety old bastard! on February 6, 2008 11:15 AM
The first team is set. Now who wants to go break Paul out of the loony bin for the first mission?
I say we roam the countryside by day in gas guzzeling Hummers looking for poor minority homos to beat with sticks, and by night we can use Humpback Whale blubber to fuel our lanters as we gather around our Redwood campfire and roast Spotted Owles for snacks. Then we’ll polish off a 12 pack of Coors-Light a piece, sleep, wake up, and repeat.
How about Tom Tancredo as Murdock?
People hate Conservatives because the media has won. For years, they’ve told us that Bushitlerton was a HUGE Conservative, and we all know how much people loved him. Problem is… he was pretty damn far away from being Conservative. Now, due to that wonderful tag, we have to find some way to define, once again, what Conservatives truly are. If we don’t, we’re going to be stuck with horrid representation for the rest of our lives.
Roam the countryside hunting RINOs, anyone?
We sure would be busy, that is for sure.
I suggest we sell our homes move into the middle of the country, buy up a state or two and create our own Utopia. A Walden Pond kind of deal but with people who work hard instead of lazy, smelly hippies, and a government that works by, for and with it’s citizens.
Anyone who proposes liberal claptrap is invited to leave and all religions are respected. School wouldn’t have to teach behavior, patriotism, loyalty and work ethics, that would be taught at home. They would be able to actually teach for the sake of knowledge instead of political correctness.
People could immigrate but only after passing a language and loyalty test. Yes I know 1984 lives but I think it’s the best we can hope for. After all it beats living in the Gulag
I think the answer is Yes ultra conservatives do suck because they are full of shit on so many issues.
The answer to your question is here.
#37 – Posted by: Wolf on February 6, 2008 11:45 AM
Thank you for scaring me for life.
#35 I think you are talking about Utah for the most part. God Bless. Jon
We need to all vote for someone who will improve the environment and reduce C02 emissions. McCain, Hillary and Obama are all good about this.
Ron Paul as Murdock.
#21 – Posted by: CraigO on February 6, 2008 11:11 AM
Nah. Murdock may have been crazy, but he was useful. Besides, I don’t think Herr Paul would accept riding around in a van with a black guy. Next thing you know you’ll be asking him to be nice to joooos.
Roam the countryside hunting RINOs, anyone?
We sure would be busy, that is for sure.
#34 – Posted by: CraigO on February 6, 2008 11:28 AM
Don’t waste the ammo. RINO’s follow the path of least resistance, looking out primarily for themselves. Once they see their buddies dropping like flies, they’ll change their tune.
I still say McCain will nab Leiberman as VP, and milk the across-the-aisle unity for cross party votes. It would sweep.
I say we kill all the honkeys.
I’m not sure why you think Conservatives are not liked. Of the three candidates, two of them got virtually ALL of the Conservative vote. McCain could not possibly have won without Huckleberry Hound taking all the Southern Conservative votes.
Do the math (it’s easy)… and you’ll see that there were plenty of Conservatives voting yesterday… but they were split in two.
McCain won nothing but the outsider/”independent”/”moderate” vote.
This was NOT a referendum on Conservatism– it was a media production for the “maverick.”
I remain unimpressed with McCain or his chances in the general election.
#43: Do the math (it’s easy)… and you’ll see that there were plenty of Conservatives voting yesterday… but they were split in two.
McCain won nothing but the outsider/”independent”/”moderate” vote.
Yes, there were some and they were split (rather stupidly), but look at all the people who voted for Obama/Hillary/McCain yesterday, and the conservative vote starts to look almightly puny…
#40 – Posted by: Nate on February 6, 2008 12:00 PM
Hmm, how do you propose getting rid of CO2 emissions when exhaling = CO2 emissions?
Invade Mexico! They want to come here anyway, so once the borders are swung wide open we trade places with the incoming herd, overthrow the joke they call a government, and reestablish a conservative state under a Don’t Tread On Me flag. Then when all the former Mexicans want to come back because the jobs have all disappeared thanks to class envy socialist policies and not enough jobs to keep all the former Mexicans employed, we sit back and laugh as they try to sneak back in. We can also use Mexico’s native illegal immigrant laws of Shoot Any Illegal On Sight, and probably turn the Rio Grande into a giant moat. Don’t need a wall when you’ve got a big honking moat and people who can’t swim. Fun times.
#46 – Posted by: on February 6, 2008 12:39 PM
One exception. We keep all the hot latina chicks!
Hmm, how do you propose getting rid of CO2 emissions when exhaling = CO2 emissions?
I should have said reduce not get rid of. Silly me 🙂 Thank you so much for pointing out my mistake.
I think we should all strap on our guns, jump on our motorcycles and invade posh communities full of country club republicans. We can punch the men and show the women what a real man is like! We will act like brutes and obnoxious rubes until they let us back into the party in 2012.
Oh…and Nate…stop being a Homo!
Wolf…ummmmmm…yikes, the most disturbing video I have ever seen…EVER!!!
Let’s invade a country, Canada wouldn’t put up much of a defense — their Army couldn’t take on millions of well-armed conservatives. #12 – Posted by: Michele McGinty
Hey Michele, couldn’t we just walk unhindered into Mexico? I’m pretty sure all its citizens are already here.
#23 is “fcastle” a Punisher reference? That would thoroughly entertain me if it was. It would also by the perfect “dispensing justice while evading the law” image.
#35 Thomas More wrote ‘Utopia’ as a satire of socialism. I shudder to hear it used as a metaphor for a happy, Conservative-y place.
Hmm, inclusion of the full spectrum of literary complexity in one post, fun.
#44 – Posted by: CraigO:
Yeah… well, Mondale and Jimmah Carter got lots of votes in their primaries, too– and so did John F’n Kerry (who served in Vietnam, by the way). Liberals love to get all worked up in the primary season– but then when it comes right down to it, many of them are too scared of the world to actually vote for their candidate.
Conservatives are the grown-ups and the liberals know it. Some of them run to mommy and daddy when the world scares them. That’s why Republicans (Conservative Republicans, that is) generally win the Presidency.
Bubba Clinton only won in ’92 because of Perot. Think about that… Clinton beat Bush-the-Elder by about five points. Perot got about 20 points. Without the diminutive Texas trouble-maker (for whom, I am sad to say, I cast my vote), Bush-41 wins in a landslide.
In ’96, Perot did it again (although only with about nine points this time. Even so, Bubba did not get a majority of votes AGAIN. Golden opportunity for the Republicans… but, no, they had to go and shoot themselves in the foot by nominating a McCain’esque Bob Dole. Why can’t they learn from this???
Huckleberry Hound played the part of Perot yesterday– with Juan McCain playing Bubba and Mitt playing Bush-41.
Now, think about the general election. If Juan gets the Republican nod, he will face one of the socialists and, quite possibly, a little wirey guy from Texas who will drain votes from the Republican side.
Sobering, eh?
Wow, that was a bit long-winded.
#52 Posted by AlanABQ….
Only the ones who are actually willing to work are here, the rest of the lazy, shift-less, low-lifes are far to lazy to walk anywhere.
They hate conservatives because they can’t handle being wrong.
#9 – Posted by: on February 6, 2008 10:55 AM
Let’s clear up the steal from the rich, and give to the poor thing.
Robin of Locksley stole from the rich Sheriff and King and gave to the oppressed people. So no, it isn’t like Obamaniac/Hildebeast. They steal from some of their subjects, take a huge cut for the bureacracy, then dole out a pittance to other subjects. Not the same at all. We need a Robin Hood now! Or maybe Underdog will swoop in and save us!
#12 – Posted by: Michele McGinty on February 6, 2008 11:00 AM
Mexico is warmer and they have oil! You may not care about this next point, but they also have senoritas. That’s the direction I will head. Plus it is only about a hundred miles away for me.
#21 – Posted by: CraigO on February 6, 2008 11:11 AM
I can totally see Ron Paul yelling “Trashbags! I want t-rashbags!” like Murdock
I say we kill all the honkeys.
#42 – Posted by: Phelps on February 6, 2008 12:09 PM
No, you spell donkey with a D! Duh-onkey. Say it with me! Duh-onkey.
I say we all search the Earth for HOT LESBIAN PRAWNS!!
I have to vote for McCain, even though I don’t want to. My penis depends on it. I’m almost positive that Hillary’s first step as president would be the dis-man-tling of everything and everyone conservative. Given my choice between losing my pecker and McCain, who by all accounts is a pecker head, I vote for the peckerhead.
#59 – Posted by: echo5a on February 6, 2008 03:19 PM
Yeah, I was so close to putting in that exact “trashbags” quote, but I didn’t think enough people would get it, but it is the exact image I had in mind when I nominated Heir Paul as Murdock…
http://www.conservativesuicidevoters.com
Robin Hood stole from the taxing ruling class and gave back to the overtaxed, just like President Reagan did.
Props to posts #s 17 & 18!!
Best post EVEH!
You guys all have it wrong. I say we put on our football pads, shave our heads into mowhawks, move to the desert and get started on the Road Warrior Scenario now. When the world finally comes to an end, we’ll be all set up to rule the others with our primative might!
By the way I’m a minority…please don’t hate me. My family came here legally and everyone of us has worked hard and earned everything we have.
TIO THOMAS! TIO THOMAS! TIO THOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
well maybe we can just sit back and live our lives, not too much is going to change anyways.