Via Chizumatic, this Greenie website tells kids at what age they should die so as not to use up more than their fair share of the planet’s resources.
Vile and tasteless, its only redeeming factor is that it tells me I should’ve died 37 years ago, a statistic in which I take some pride.
And no, it’s not a parody.
I saw this at Tim Blair’s site and I should have died at age 2.
The only good thing about global warmmongers is that they have no sense of perspective so they keep turning the dial up.
Yours go to 11? Theirs goes to eleventy ‘leven.
I wouldn’t trust that calculator too much. It looks like the professor is a dog.
Of course it’s not a parody! I’m somewhat tempted to buy and/or restore an old muscle car just to spite these deranged fools.
Lord help you if you fly for work, or spend over 50K a year. My pig looked like something from a B-Movie monster catalog. Well, until he exploded. Then he look like all the rest. I guss it just goes to show that we all look the same inside.
This seems like a somewhat biased calculator. I think that they age that comes out is probably more the age that the author’s wish you would die. If you make any money at all, then you’re screwed. It’s worse if you drive or fly for work – how does the carbon or resources used multiply just because you were producing something with it, rather than just using it up for yourself? (seems like the hippies have a bias against the gainfully employed)
All these things make some sense towards reducing the years needed to use a “fair share” of the planets resources – whatever that is. However, if you spend just a small percentage of your income on “ethical investments” they pretty much make you a saint. When I was playing around, they told me I could live forever, just because I spent about five percent of my money on “ethical investments.”
So, it looks like the authors are just wishing they could get rid of evil capitalist consumers – unless they pay money to the author’s pet causes. I’m glad they directed the site at kids.
Dude, this is f-cked up.
I’ll be moving from minnesota to Arizona next week, belching well over 3800 cubic tons of carbon into the atmosphere, so according to this site, I should’ve been aborted in the womb. I’m glad these folks are qualified to make god-like decisions.
I apparently should have died at age “8.4”. I was unaware that there were people out there who actually used freaking DECIMAL PLACES in their age.
Seriously, the people who designed that disgusting site (did you see the “Planet Slayer” thing as well, typical demons of capitalism nay saying crap) should follow their own advice. I’ve noticed almost all the “approved” standards (and where the HECK are they getting their #’s..whats the empircal baseline?) are essentially 3rd world level poverty. I clicked between 40-50k for my salary (does that make me rich? thats news to me) and the pig thing grew huge…so…what….I’ll strive to make less? Bob from Office Space voice Um…yeah…if you guys could just die……that’d be greeeeeeeeeeat. I wonder if Al Gore’s Jet made it on there. Oh, and I’m a BUSINESS TRAVELER. GUESS WHAT? I HAVE TO FLY ON AIRPLANES CONSTANTLY! ITS NOT SOMETHING I LIKE TO DO! ITS REQUIRED FOR MY JOB! Grrrr. Sorry……….Yeah, screw that site.
Dr. Schpinkee in the white lab coat must be one of those doctors left over from the Third Reich. It reminds me of their ultimate solution.
I think that website should die in 1.2 hours. And it’s owner and programmers should be hog-tied, dragged face-down through a pigsty and shot up the a$$ with pig gas. Hey, I’m trying to be nice about it.
I guess I was saved in the end by the fact that I only buy normal stuff with my money. If I only bought eco-friendly stuff, I should die at about 7 years, but since I don’t, I can live forever! YAY!
I played around with this little calculator a bit and as near as I can figure, you can live as green as possible but if you aren’t putting a good percentage of your money spent into green “ethical” investments, then you don’t get very much time to live. Also, you can be the biggest carbon piggy around, but if you are investing “ethically”, you can live forever. It’s all about the benjamin’s, folks!
At first they came for the SUV drivers and I said nothing
Then they came for the Pick Up drivers and I said nothing
Then they came for the Muscle Car drivers and I said nothing
Then they came for the Super Bike riders and I said nothing
Then they came for me…
…and you ripped off their heads and shoved ’em up their asses !!
Happy Weekend.
OMG!! I gone 4.1648 times over the recommended death limit!!! I hope they use hemp rope when they hang me for it, not that evil nylon stuff…
My comment left on theirs news article was an apology to the Aussies for Al Gore & how sh*t like this happens anytime you allow libs & ecotards the slightest access to children’s education.
Now, a confession: I totally want to hook-up with that “Greena” chick. I’d get her naked…
…and then I’d spray her stupid hippy-ass down with some soapy water.
See, on my death calculator, if you spend any money on “ethical green investments” it would automatically say you should have been aborted. Not because you’re producing so much CO2, but because you’re too stupid to live.
Yay. I used up my share of the earth 30 years ago. I feel good, too, Harvey.
It said I should have died at age 1.4 years, about 49 years ago.
You know, I’m thinking there ought to be :
“The IMAO Game”
Let your imagination run: With thousands of preprogrammed liberal quotes and policies, you get a chance to reply to randomly displayed liberal garbage and the heuristic, AI-like algorithm sifts and grades your response… all while you’re shooting at hippies, communists, terrorsts, and the Democrat Congress in 3-D with real terrain. Things get tougher with Pelosi- and Reid- and Obama-pop-ups that require extra skill to shoot and respond to. Plus, you play it interactively with IMAO members via the Net.
Yeah, that’s it. The new IMAO is actually a live, 24/7 interactive web game complete with regular postings and comments. Extra points if you buy T-shirts and compliment the writers!
OK, I’m going back outside.
Logan’s Run was a scientific report turned into a documentary film.
I was hoping that this was a joke. It reminds me of Tom Clancy’s “Rainbow Six”, where the ecotards plan to wipe out all human life. Except for those who Love the Environment. These people need to be stopped.
But in Clancy’s Rainbow Six, the ecotards got what they deserved a chance to live out their theories. Unfortunately, we can’t do the same with this bunch.
Good scene at the end of the book, scientists vs. special operators. Guess who lost.
This calculator can’t adapt to people like me, who go out and burn pallets and other scrap wood just for the hell of it.
My ambition is to have a lifetime carbon footyprint that makes algore’s look like that of a mass of algae.
“Unfortunately, we can’t do the same with this bunch.”
Let’s not be hasty about taking options off the table…
See what happens when you answer that quiz like Al Gore!
Someone please report this site to CAIR. It shows a pig and suggests that you should die for mother earth rather then Allah, so obviously it is a hate crime against muslim’s everywhere. Its time for a holly war between islam and radical enviromental moonbats.
My ETD, according to these idiots: 1.5 years.
By their account, I should have died during the Eisenhower Administration.
And yes, the Rainbow Six conflict … and endgame … comes to mind.
Only because of the prosperity, derived from the socioeconomic system they wish to destroy, can they sit here and come up with this waste of computer resources.
Maybe my parents are right … we don’t have it hard enough …
I wonder how much of a carbon footprint is made, by all the power plants running, to provide power for all the liberal internet servers? Besides, all unbiased scientific evidence shows that if the average temperature was ten degrees warmer, as it was in the middle ages, life would be better for everyone. Stupid liberals want to continue living in an ice age.
Actually, the more I think about it, and there is scientific evidence backing it, a warmer environment would be way better then the way it is now. We should totally start a pro-global warming movement. It is every man, woman, and child’s duty to make the absolute biggest carbon footprint they can.
With gas prices being so high, it is no longer just as simple as driving an SUV, or such. What are some economic steps I can take to help raise the temperature of the earth? I’m doing it for the children, so they don’t have to be so cold at night.
I apparently should have died at age “8.4”. I was unaware that there were people out there who actually used freaking DECIMAL PLACES in their age.
#7 – Posted by: Swamper on June 7, 2008 11:21 AM
They’re aussies and enviroweenies! What do you expect? I apparently should have died at the age of 3.6 according to this dumbass.
Basic idiot skills garnered by the site place an average idiot in his death accurately. Too bad most silk ponies, crackheads, and Al Gore, reason beyond this mental challenge. It probably holds a visceral pleasure akin to picking at a zit for these herpe infested tree humping maggots.
Blogging form Burma…and I see IMAO….STILL HASN’T ENDORSED RON PAUL.
There is still time!
I scored 5.6 years. I’m just not trying hard enough. The Global warmongers (I like that, may I use it?) don’t just want us to live like bare- foot, burlap wearing serfs; ‘No, Mr. Bond, I want you to die!’.
A new iceage would suit them fine. I calculated that if 10% of the worlds human population died each year for 10 years we’d go from 6 billion to 1.5 billion (approx). That’d leave about 150,000 totally soulless elitest pr*cks to run the world, with 100 armed lackys and 900 slaves apiece to do the actual work, like converting all the surplus biomass (bodies) from the killoff into Soylent Green, or organic mulch for their hemp farms. And someone will have to wax their floors and scrub their toilets. The impression I’ve always gotten from this sort is that if they can’t use you, they don’t want to know you.
This is not a new idea. H.G. Wells, George Bernard Shaw and their progressive chums were tossing around the idea that “swarms of black and brown, and dirty-white and yellow people would have to go” when Hitler was still selling dirty postcards on a steetcorner in Austria.
E.A. Ross wrote in 1914, “They are hirsute, low-browed, big-faced persons of obviously low mentality … Clearly they belong in skins, in wattled huts at the close of the Great Ice Age. These ox-like men are descendants of those who always stayed behind.”
Hey, I resemble those remarks!
Did anyone else notice how effeminate the ‘green’ pig was? That site creeps me out on So many different levels!
Spathi – sorry about the oversight – everybody vote for Ron Paul. Unless there’s a war you want to win, or something.
Captain Planet (not) – I, too, noticed that that little green pig shore had a purty mouth.
Which is odd, because I’d always figured Australians for sheep fanciers.
Four point zero on the money. HA, I have 48 extra years and counting, you pompous busy-body jack-a-napes.
4.6! I’m worse than Harvey!!!
I’m not sure why they haven’t begun a Mandatory Abortion Program. After all if all humans were deleted from the planet it would be good for the environment.
I know, some of their slogans could be:
Kill a child, save the planet
Children are planet killers
Abortion- Birth Control for Mother Earth
Yes I know harsh, but then I’m the meanest mother anyone will ever know, just ask my kids.
HA you slackers, I got 2.1
I’ve already lived 29 years past my usefullness (2.5 years), so I figure I might as well drink and smoke as much as I’d like, just so I can “help the planet” and kill myself faster.
seanmahair: How mean ARE you? You haven’t been posting in a while. We miss you, mean Mom.
this things a load of BS.
im 13 so i spent less than 10K. its all on normal stuff, none of the green crap.
it said i should die at age 17 so according to the dog i have about 4 years left to live. cool.
this things a load of BS.
im 13 so i spent less than 10K. its all on normal stuff, none of the green crap.
it said i should die at age 17 so according to the dog i have about 4 years left to live. cool.
Well, I’m sorry that there’s no public transportation where I live.
I have to drive around 200 miles per week.
I should just die. I’m killing the planet, and not contributing anything.
Oh. And my pig scared me. A lot.
1.2 years and a really cool pig. It could easily eat both of those wimps. So I’m 51.6 years ahead.
I’m so mean that when my children fought with each other (even just picked at each other) I made them sit on a bed with their arms around each other until I was satisfied they got the point.
More….. you know where Jim.
How is spending money anti-environment? I didn’t understand that question and it cut my life to 2.1 years.
I wonder whether it will be the suicide/fratricide (little/big bro/sis is destroying the enviromnent!) rate among children or the conservation rate which will see a bigger uptick due to this steaming load of greeen crap.
4.7 years old. Well, a lot of people felt like dying during the Carter years, I hear. I’ll have to go flying or something to catch up with some of you guys that only made it to be toddlers.
I really like the IMAO game idea.
The sick part about that site is that the Global Warmongers won’t be satisfied until some Young Skull Full of MushTM takes that calculator seriously and offs him- or herself for The Cause.
Also annoying is how they only have km on there instead of miles…anyone know offhand how to convert the two at the time they were doing the thing?
I should have only made it to 7.3 years.
Am I supposed to feel guilty?
#49, a kilometer is roughly 3/5 of a mile
In the United States of America we don’t give a rat’s ass what a Kilometer or a Liter is! We are America and we set the standards for weights and measures and the rest of the world can suck it if they don’t like it! It’s the greens and the other Euro wannabees here in the US that always use their standards and think they are being cool when they are really being retards!
I’d love to see a calculator that tells you how many people you’d have to kill to raise the average global CO2 allotment to the level you use.
1.7 yrs (’bout 33.5 yrs ago…) until i realized that it was calculated in aussie money. 1.2 after that little adjustment…