Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.
I think that this WE campaign is the best thing to come along since Bill Clinton was president!@!! First of all, we need to undo all of the damage that the republicans keep doing to our wonderful planet. They just do’nt understand how important it is to take care of Mother earth! So heres my suggestion– I think Cheryl Crow was on the totally right track when she started talking about the one square of toilet paper rule. I mean, think of how many trees we could save if even half of the country committed to doing this all the time!!!!1 We’d save at least 100 trees! and wow clean up our air.But i think we should take it one step further to include other kinds of paper products (computer paper, paper plates, napkins, etc). I think thats where your organization could be helpful. Like using your researchers to come up with a fair number for all Americans for how much paper we should get a year. And then the government could pass it out, and everyone gets their share. If you use it up, make buying extra toilet paper really expensive (hey, those wasting rich republicans can pay the price if they won’t support WE and us, and it will just give them less money to buy guns anyway.). Just my two sents.
Vote for hope, hope for change! Obama 08′
Dear WE,
The center of the earth is very hot, but we live on the surface of the
earth, and now I no that the surface is getting much hotter because we do.
It seems right to me that the center hot is somehow getting to the surface.
Oil in my car gets hot, so I no that oil is hot. Maybe it is the same in
the earth!!! If we get the oil out of the earth then the earth will be less
hotter. This is so right that nobody can not no it!!! Plus all the holes
to get the oil will make the center less hot, like my car gets air to it.
Thanks for making me think of this before its to late. Call me if you don’t
get it and I can help you get it, and I can think of some other stuff to.
Justin Berkley III
Dumb people are mean 🙂
I think its graet that WE are getting involvd in solving the pressing needs of the world. May I suggest?
1) Reduced energy consumption through global economic collapse. Its gonna happen, just WHEN is the question. WE can encourage this through government support of any and all programs — to starve the economy of resources.
2) A Global Tax on electrons used. With profits to fund green alternatives to electron/protons.
3) Sustainable cooperative initiatives through leveled playing fields. What I mean is reduction of inequality with an eye toward measurable fairness.
4) Clean-based ecofuel programs which are outcome-based and will not increase global warming and/or cooling.
5) Support initatives which wil increase community projects in greenscaping, cityscaping and ecoscaping. Investigative projects funded by BIG OIL which will discover the possible uses of kinetic energy in the sea (without interrupting native sealife) and potential energy stored in rocks poised to fall off high peaks.*
*Without actually removing the rocks from the peaks. The potential energy stored in boulders which are high on cliffs in say, Colorado or Montana could fuel a small city.
Nuke Iran! If we nuke Iran we can save the planet.
Here’s how:
When nukes go off they release an enormous amount of energy. This “energy” is in the form of a huge fire ball that will melt the sands of Iran.
Once the “dust settles” there will be huge sheets of glass made from melted sand everywhere the nukes exploded in essence making huge mirrors that will reflect the energy from the sun just enough to combat the dreaded “Global Warming”.
Poof, World saved.
Swinehound
Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).
I suggest this plan to get rid of global warming and liberals at the saame time. A sex tax! That’s right, a sex tax, because everyone knows that conservatives, particulally uptight white ones, don’t do sex and liberals do little else. Since liberals only want to use other people’s money to run the country, and they’ll never accept a system that only taxes them instead of us rich Republicans, every one of them will shift into the republican party – drill ANWR, become productive, scare the hell out of any potential enemy, clean out the education lobby and leftist professors, fill the churchs and empty the prisons, return marriage to men and women, close the borders, stop crime because everyone will carry, and best of all, we can knock off the permanent electioneering when we return to the constituion. Though I doubt many in radical Islam and Europe will like us.
Justin Berkley III, ohmygosh, that was awesome.
1 – Hey! Without sex us uptight white conservatives have to do Something to use up all that pent-up energy!
There are several way in which we could save the planet and eliminate the curse of humanity once and for all.
Step 1. Universal sterialization.
Step 2. Outlaw vaccinations.
Step 3. Outlaw all energy use, for any reason
Step 4. Close all hospitals, clinics and imprison all health care professionals.
Step 5. Suspend all drug tests but make available all dangerous, addictive drugs for universal consumption.
Step 6. Out law religion, execute any who continue to profess any belief in anything not carbon based.
Not only will this eliminate the curse of humanity but most people will be more than happy to evacuate the planet. I know I would.