When it was reported last week that MSNBC’s Carlos Watson started to wonder if socialist is the new N-Word, I was at a loss for words. Until today.
I read some tweets by Peter Schmugge directly addressed that. I told him I was stealing it.
With that said, I’m updating an old post.
Here is Blazing Saddles if “socialist” was the the “N-word”…
“He rode a Blazing Saddle, He wore a shining star, His job to offer battle …”
*click*
*click*
“C’mon boys. The way you’s lollygaggin’ ’round here with them picks and them shovels … you’d think it was a hunnert and twenny degrees…”
“Cain’t be more’n a hunnert ‘n fourteen!”
“Ohhh!”
“Dock that C***k a day’s pay for nappin’ on the job.”
“How come I don’t hear no singin’? When you wuz slaves … you sung like birds…”
“How ’bout a good ol’ socialist work song.”
“I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all. So tell me why should it be true, that I get a belt out of you? Some get their kicks from cocaine…”
“Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that shi*?! I meant a song. A real song. Like … Swing Low, Sweet Chaaaaaaarioooooottttttt….”
*click*
*click*
“What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a-goin’ on here?! I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f*****s.”
“Sorry Mr. Taggart. I — I guess we kinda got caught up.”
“Listen dummy. The surveyors say they may ‘ve run into some quicksand up ahead. Better check it out.”
“Okay. I’ll send down a team of horses t’ check out th’ ground.”
“Horses! Why we cain’t afford to lose no horses you dummy!”
“Send over a couple of socialists.”
“Okay, Mr. Taggart.”
“You. And you.”
“Sir? Sir, he, uh, specifically requested two socialists. Well, to tell a family secret: my grandmother was a Dutch.”
*click*
*click*
“Send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said — OW!”
“Send wire, main office, tell them I said ‘ow.’ Gotcha!”
*click*
*click*
“OW!”
“Why Taggart! You’ve been hurt!”
“Oh, that uppity socialist went and hit me on the head with a shovel.”
“I’d sure appreciate it sir if you could find it in your heart to hang him up by his neck until he was dead.”
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
“As per your instructions, I’d like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge.”
“I’d be delight… WOW! I gotta talk to you, c’mere!”
“Have you gone berserk? Can’t you see that that man is an socia…”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha. Wrong person. Forgive me. No offense intended. Ha-ha-ha.”
“Have you gone berserk? Can’t you see that that man is an socia?”
*click*
*click*
*click*
“The sheriff’s comin’!”
“Ring out the church bells!”
“Strike up the band.”
*CLANG!*
*CLANG!*
“Hey! The sheriff is a so…” *CLANG!* “…st!”
“What’d he say?”
“The sheriff is so close.”
“No, Gol-blame it dang blammit. The sheriff is a so…” *CLANG!* “…st!”
“Hooray!”
“Hooray! Hooray! Hoo–”
*clip-clop clip-clop*
“As chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel … and hearty handshake to our new…”
*clip-clop clip-clop*
“… socialist.”
*wham*
*clip-clop clip-clop*
*click*
*click*
“Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let us not allow anger to rule the day! As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this Good Book and what it has to say!”
*BLAM*
“Son, you’re on your own.”
*click click click*
“Hold it!”
“The next man makes a move the socialist gets it.”
“Hold it, men. He’s not bluffing.”
“Listen to him men! He’s just crazy enough to do it.”
“Drop it, or I swear I’ll blow this socialist’s head all over this town.”
*click*
Oh, yeah. Makes perfect sense, Mr. Watson. You’ve convinced me.
So how does one go about getting a job at MSNBC? Clearly intelligence isn’t a requirement.
With this classic movie the possibilities are unlimited, for exhample…………..
Bart: Mornin’, ma’am. And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
Elderly Woman: Up yours, Socialist!!
Taggart: I got it! I got it!
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We’ll work up a Number 6 on ’em.
Hedley Lamarr: [frowns] “Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one.
Taggart: Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a-taxin’ and a-regulatin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: Naw, we tax ‘n regulate the sh*t out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous!.
Slim Pickens’ character was named Taggert?
As in ‘Taggert Transcontinental’ Taggert?
It all makes sense to me now!
(Atlas Shrugged reference)
[We are here to entertain and inform. – B]
[And to correct speling mistaeks. – B]
I can’t wait to use:
Up yours socialist!
He’s also gonna have to change the end. We’ll take the C***nks and the Irish, but not the socialists.
[Isn’t that cop — Crowley — Irish? The line would fit. – B]
Sorry, I meant to say
Bravo. That’s about funny.
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: “Ditto?” “Ditto,” you provincial socialist?
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Democrat: raising taxes, writing complicated regulitions, whining, and raising taxes.
Hedley Lamarr: You said raising taxes twice.
Democrat: I like raising taxes.
“All (bleeping) socialists must (bleeping) hang.” – Animal Mother, USMC
Bart: Mornin’, ma’am. And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
Elderly Woman: Up yours, Socialist!!
Bart: Did I mention I’m a member of The Death Panel?
In a few years the word Obama will be the same as Munson(see the movie King Pin for explanation)
[Taggart spots two socialists on a government funded hand-car sinking into quicksand]
Taggart: Oh, sh*t. Quicksand!
[Lassos the government funded hand-car and drags it but not the socialists out of the quicksand]
Taggart: Dang, that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred billion dollar government handcar!
I heard recently about a 16 year old black kid in Rockford IL who was in a house that was then surrounded by the police. Given the reputation of the Rockford police (not racist, just incredibly stupid), he didn’t think he’d survive long if he walked out. He claimed he was holding a hostage, so the police negotiated with him for the release of his hostage. When he agreed, the “hostage” (the black kid) left and was loaded in a car and taken to safety. They then raided the empty house looking for the hostage taker. For the record, the kid was innocent and was found to be so later. The cops had the wrong house.
When my sister told me this story, I laughed hysterically because SOMEONE ACTUALLY PULLED the Blazing Saddles “taking self hostage” routine. Combined with the other coincidences, the whole situation was just WAY too classic.
I noticed that in the old days of broadcast TV, they bleeped out Hell and Damn (and even the fart sounds) but not the N word, and now it’s the opposite.
***Co-Starring Gene Wilder as Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid” Biden.***
Sherriff Bart: Are we awake?
Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid”: We’re not sure. Are we socialist?
Bart: Yes we are.
Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid”: Then we’re awake, but we’re very puzzled.
______________________________
Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid”: I got a note this morning.
Bart: From who?
Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid”: Well, I’m not sure. It was addressed to “The Deputy Socialist.”
Bart: Well, once I establish myself in this here town, Deputy Socialist might turnout to be a groovy position.
_______________________________
Bart: Who is this Mongo, anyway?
Joe “The Wac(k)o Kid”: Well, Mongo ain’t exactly a “who,” he’s more of a
“what.”metaphor, for the 53% of the nation that are Suckers for free stuff…..Mongo: Mongo like Free Health Care!
thank you “Useless Movie Quotes”
Funniest Movie Ever.
Slim Pickens’ character was named Taggert?
As in ‘Taggert Transcontinental’ Taggert?
It all makes sense to me now!
(Atlas Shrugged reference)
[We are here to entertain and inform. – B]
I’m glad I’m not the only one who caught that!
The N word is beeped out in blazing saddles but ACDC’s highway to hell still plays on the radio with the original lyrics “see the n***r on a one way ride”
[‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy! – B]
midwestconservative,
Isn’t it “Season ticket on a one-way ride”?
Blazing Saddles is the best movie ever! Too bad Mel Brooks wouldn’t be allowed to shoot it now.
[By the way, my favorite AC/DC song is “Dirty Deeds, Done With Sheep” – B]
My worst mis-heard lyric is when Patti Smith sings “Late afternoon” on Redondo Beach I hear “lymph nodes”, close enough for government work I guess. Which brings me to my first thought that this got started when people began referring to HSIC or Head Socialist In Charge.
Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you socialists are… gifted?
[sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, no it isn’t twue at all….(sigh)
Socialist Please!
Socialist Please! Simple….but very funny!
Pingback: Socialist Puh-leeze! | The Rude News
[Pharrell]
What, uh, c’mon, uh, keep the change, my socialist, (it’s too late)
It’s too late for that
Don’t gotta to spit that game
Keep the change, my socialist, it’s too late for that
Keep the change, my socialist, it’s too late for that
[Jay-Z]
Uh, uh, young, Neptunes, Young Chris, ROC
Uh, pimp stroll, pop my collar, hug the block, get dollars
Pimp stroll, pop my collar, hug my nuts, bitch holla
[Chorus: Pharrell]
My socialist, please – you ain’t signing no checks like these
My socialist, please – you ain’t pushing no wheels like these
My socialist, please – you ain’t holding no tecks like these
My socialist, please – you don’t pop in vest like these
[Jay-Z]
My socialist please, uh-huh, uh,
This my world, pimp stroll
socialist please, you ain’t start out from your trunk
Then reach the roof, just to put your roof in your trunk
socialist please, chumps don’t tour like us
You on the road a million hours, I fly over your bus
socialist please, you ain’t got your neck all froze
With the same logo that you got sketched on your clothes
socialist please, you don’t be getting no hoes
With La Perla on they cheeks, can’t be messing with cheap chicks
socialist please, you seldom seen with chicks in 7 jeans
Manolo Blahnik I’m going through they body like an ultrasonic
You ain’t got ’em blowing no chronic
Divine intervention, you can’t prevent me from shining
socialist please, I been around the world
Damn near beat Jordan in around-the-world
socialist please, you can’t even hold my shoes
I got wannabes who wannabe me that sound (socialist) better than you
[Chorus + ad libs]
[Jay-Z]
Uh, pimp strolling on ’em
Black diamonds, rose goldin’ on ’em
Paper foldin’ on ’em
Snuck pass the dog noses with the Foldger’s on ’em
Keys, Saran Wrap with petroleum on ’em
Snitch got pinched but he toned it on ’em
Lawyers got it adjourned, try {?} on ’em
Witnesses, it’s no holdin’ on ’em
Just George Jefferson strollin’ on ’em
socialist please, this is me, this is real as it be
My videos is like real TV
That chick, that’s me, that six, that’s me
That boat, I had it on the Mediterranean sea
socialist please
[Chorus + ad libs]
[Young Chris]
Yo, yo,
socialist please, y’all ain’t seeing no checks like these (no)
Y’all don’t run up in record labels demanding respect like we
Y’all don’t rock your Roc-A-Wear Nike checks like we
Y’all coach class, y’all never private jet like we
My socialist please, y’all don’t smoke the sour diesel like us
You don’t go to Pop and get ya flour cheaper than us
Knock it off in three hours and repeat it like us
And repeat it we must, y’all don’t re-up like us
Ay, y’all ain’t being like us, ’cause y’all don’t see it like us
The move the D’s when they rush
My socialist please, they must be on E’s and dust
Then socialists f’in with pills, y’all don’t get G’s like us
My socialist please, y’all young’ns ain’t got O.G.s like me
B. Sig, Young Hov’, Dame Dash, Kareem
socialist please, somebody must’ve gassed your team
Think a socialist outrun or outlast gangrene (GangGreen)
My socialist please
[Chorus + ad libs]
[Pharrell]
Amazing man, got your aerosol,
I made my money, but don’t trouble the law
I keep the womens around
I got the gremlin’s crazy
And wanna know the time
Better have me shades, see
My socialist please
isn’t rap great?
Please leave my sister-in-law out of this, and check your spelling.
MSNBC’s Carlos Watson is a moron. Intelligence is not a requierment to work for MSNBC. Blazing Saddels is great and Mel Brooks is awesome, but I don’t think he could make his movies today. Oh now HSIC replaces HNIC according to MSNBC’s Carlos Watson.
Spelling!? We don’t got to check no stinkin’ spelling!!
Pingback: D. Jason Fleming (djasonfleming) 's status on Monday, 17-Aug-09 20:42:11 UTC - Identi.ca
Mel Brooks should direct the movie version of Atlas Shrugged.
The bronze statue in the middle of the Taggart Transcontinental Central Station could be Slim Pickens, just before he got hit with the shovel.
(Seriously, the novel was so long and complex, I don’t know if any director could do it justice as a drama – but they might be able make it work as a satire.)
Given that the facts are:
• Socialism is no private property with government owning the means of production and distribution. And “by owning” that’s “100% owning”.
• And nothing Obama has proposed, nor anything that he has “hypothesized on as an intellectual exercise”, like his wishing for a single payer system vis-à-vis healthcare, even comes remotely close to Socialism.
• Nor does Obama’s proposed top marginal tax rates approach anything close to the levels that we had under many “conservative” presidents in the past 90 years.
• No White president in the history of the Republic has had this many lies spewed about him in such a short time.
It would appear that that the word Socialist in relation to Obama is nothing more than the N-Word repackaged.
[Socialism: any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.
You’re saying that Obama’s plans for the government taking over health care and other aspects of your life do NOT amount to socialism?
Your whole house of cards falls down. And I never even got to the lies your kind has spread about President Bush. Either President Bush, by the way.
And what conservatives are you talking about, “in the last 90 years?” Harding? Who cut the top rate from Wilson’s 73% (it was 7% during Wilson’s first term) to 44%? Coolidge, who got it down to 24%? Maybe you mean Hoover, who agreed to raise tax rates, and lost his job that November? Ignore, of course, that under the Democrats in the White House the next 20 years, top tax rates went up to 92%. Tax rates only came down 1% under Eisenhower and the Democratic Congress. Maybe you meant Nixon, who got top rates down 6% during his term. Ford got little done with the Democratic Congress, using his veto power to keep Democrats in check. Reagan, of course, got rates down from over 69% to 28%. Bush, of course, agreed to Democrats’ plan to raise taxes, and was called a liar by the Democrats for agreeing with them. George W. Bush was elected when the top rate was 39.6%, and cut the rates. So, what you said about top rates under Republicans (not all were conservative) is true, to a degree. But it’s because they inherited rates raised by Democrats, with the exception of Hoover.
If you knew what you were talking about, it’d be interesting. As it is, it’s not. – B]