Everyone knows that real peace only comes through strength.
Or possibly superior firepower.
Careful aim helps, too.
Anyway, these fine folks put the bitch-slap on the forces of mayhem and chaos, so I’m nominating them for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize:
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Name: James Pickett
Headline: 80-Year-Old John Wayne Fan Puts Attacker In Hospital
Money Quote: “I think I’m a ten times better shot than and he is… But they best not come back,” said Pickett.
*****
Name: August Peters
Headline: Man, 74, Shoots Carjacker, 18
Money Quote: Baltazar, wearing a ski mask, put a knife to Peters’ throat and told the man to hand over his keys. Peters got back in his car, pulled out a gun and and fired twice — hitting Baltazar once in the stomach.
*****
Name: Bradley Harvell
Headline: 82-year-old Man Kills Home Invasion Suspect
Money Quote: “I reached down […] and got a pistol that I had down there. A 357 magnum pistol that I’ve had for years and I brought it out and I shot him,” said Harvell.
*****
Name: Willie Lee Hill
Headline: Man, 93, Shoots Violent Robber
Money Quote: Covered in blood, Hill regained consciousness a short time later and pulled a .38-caliber handgun on his attacker. The suspect, Douglas B. Williams Jr., saw the gun and charged the man, who fired a bullet that struck Williams in the throat, police said.
*****
Name: Willie Hancox
Headline: 84-Year-Old Homeowner Shoots Intruder
Money Quote: “He said if they come in the door, I’m not gonna let them kill me and he meant that,” says neighbor, Dorothy Dickerson.
*****
Name: Gayle Martin
Headline: 79-Year-Old Shoots Two Intruders, Police Say: Homeowner Says Men Kicked In His Back Door At 5 A.M.
Money Quote: “He’s old school,” Lisa Garner said of her neighbor. “My grandfather would have done the same thing.”
*****
Name: Carter Westfall
Headline: Man Shoots Intruders/ 18-Year-Old Killed, Two Other Teens Wounded
Money Quote: Under Colorado law, a person may use deadly force against an intruder into a dwelling who he believes may use force or commit a crime within the dwelling. This is commonly referred to as the “Make My Day” law.
*****
Name: Florentino Jauregui
Headline: 85-Year-Old Man Shoots Robbery Suspect
Money Quote: “I’m proud of my father. He is a good person,” said Pedro Jauregui.
*****
Name: Monte Rompal
Headline: Chiloquin Man Shoots Intruder
Money Quote: Deputies later found Brown at a nearby house – asleep and drunk with a bullet wound to his left upper arm.
*****
Name: Michael Mah
Headline: Concealed Carry Permit Holder Shoots Suspect
Money Quote: “The bad guys… better be careful who they pick on,” said Troy Powell, a retired cop who recently moved here from Texas.
*****
Name: Charles (Gus) Augusto
Headline: Blue Flame Owner Kills Two: Harlem’s Restaurant Supply Owner Shoots Two Dead After Botched Robbery
Money Quote: “They ran into some tough stuff today,” witness Vernon McKenzie, 48, said of the stickup men, including one whose bloody corpse was splayed on the sidewalk.
Sadly, I couldn’t find this next guy’s name, but if anyone knows it, please forward it to the nominating committee:
Name: Unknown (and despite rumors to the contrary, it wasn’t me)
Headline: Man Shoots At Rappers Over “Cranky Old Man” Lyrics
Money Quote: “The elderly gentleman felt that these young people were insulting him in their songs,” the officer added.
As for the last guy:
It wasn’t me either but I’ll give him credit for trying to kill off rap music.
Great work, Harvey.
DUDE! We bombed the moon! I would have thought a post from you on the subject was obligatory.
Awesome, awesome list!!! “They ran into some tough stuff today.” Love it!!
Every one of these people has done something more substantial and worthwhile than Obama has.
I sent the following letter to the Nobel folks this afternoon. I’m not expecting a response (then again…)
To: comments@nobelprize.org
Re: Nobel Nomination
Considering the modern standards for the Nobel Prizes, I would like to nominate someone who will assuredly be the hands down winner for the Nobel Prize in Medicine. She has worked tirelessly to prevent the spread of disease and spares no effort in curbing poor conditions that lead to high-risk epidemics. I am speaking, of course, of my cat Squeaker who is a rapacious mouser and killed two in the last week alone, then selflessly ate them to prevent and outbreak of the Bubonic Plague. As Winter moves in and global warming forces these vermin into my house for warmth, her deft skill with claw and tooth will be indispensible in the protection of my family.
For this, she is most deserving of a Nobel Prize. She’s actually done something.
Xxxx Xxxxxxxx, Serf
North Carolina, USA
In Obama’s America, you’re supposed to let them kill you, then your family must refrain from making any negative comments about the killer until a jury tells them it’s okay to be mad at him. Then, he’ll go to jail for a short while before being released and supported by government programs.
It’s a gloomy, rainy day here.
Thanks for brightening it up with these heartwarming tales.
Just plain old good Americans, doing the right thing in spite of the nanny state.
Gotta love them all.
How about this one?
Naked man, 91, holds drunken intruder at gunpoint
Thanks for the post. Everyone of of those folks have done more for peace than anything from Obambi.
“Ain’t nothing as peaceful as a dead man.”
Reminds me of the bumper sticker:
I wish closed minds came with closed mouths.
Cheers!
My vote goes to Willie Lee Hill. That 93 year old took 50 hits from that guy with a soda can before he passed out? Holy freaking cow, what was this guy like at 35? Salute!!
Rehabilitated.
“The elderly gentleman felt that these young people were insulting him in their songs,” the officer added.
What are the odds that his name is Elijah? 2 Kings 2:24 😉
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OutSTANDING collection of happy dance news Harvey!
This makes my dick hard! Cool!
“He’s old school,” Lisa Garner said of her neighbor. “My grandfather would have done the same thing.”
What would she have done? Talk them out of it?
What about this one, “Angry U.S. tourists break Costa Rican mugger’s neck” at http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2215917320070222
Three things I’d like to note:
1) You can find these stories on Google by using the terms “year old man shoots” (without quotes). Apparently a shooter’s age is only in the headline if they’re very old or very young.
2) I didn’t do the search for “woman”, because it would’ve clashed with the theme established by the Clint Eastwood picture, but the stories can be found similarly.
3) I only used stories where the shooter was named. A lot of them simply say “the homeowner” – no charges, no crime, no need to put his name in the paper.
I hope Kanye West goes to the ceremony.
“Yo Obama, congratulations, I’m really happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but Beyonce is the most peaceful person I know.”
Even Kanye West knows that awarding
Obama the Nobel Peace Prize is
wiggity-wiggity-whack.
I loved James Taranto’s comment , “…The jokes write themselves. Six days ago, “Saturday Night Live” was mocking Obama for having accomplished nothing, and the president’s media protectors were crying foul. After all, can’t expect a guy to accomplish very much in a few short
months. But the incongruity of this staggeringly premature honor
–the equivalent of a lifetime-achievement Oscar for a child star–
makes yesterday’s satire into today’s news.”
I heard an interesting theory yesterday. The award was given to “the One” to ensure there would be NO troop surge in Afganistan. After all how can the most peaceful, peaceloving, peacenik escalate WAR. Unthinkable, inconceivable, unbearable.
Europe is now influencing American foreign policy. As we know from history they’ve done such a good job protecting themselves and their allies in the past. Neville Chamberlain has returned from the dead and his new name is BHObama.
Harvey, while reading this post, all I could think about were the men and women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan (like my son) who deserve a competent president and don’t have one. No doubt most of them are wondering how long they can endure risking their lives on a daily basis for a nation that doesn’t care led by a back-stabbing president – and still believe in the future.
I fear greatly for my son’s generation.
What will he do for an encore next year?
“NEVER pick a fight with an old man. If he can’t fight you, he’ll just kill you!”
Here in KY we had a story like these unfold, with some twists.
Initially it was reported that an older man had shot and killed a would be robber. (Yay! Said the gun rights people)
Then it was reported he had actually shot his grandson (Yay! Said gun control people)
Then it was reported that he shot his grandson, who was attempting to rob the house and fired on his grandfather first.
What a world.
“If he can’t fight you, he’ll just kill you!”
… and sue you afterwards!