WASHINGTON DC (AP) – After it was widely reported that Democrat Congressman Alan Grayson of Florida called Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke’s aide and former Enron lobbyist, Linda Robertson, “a K Street whore“, prostitutes working the K Street area demanded an apology.
“No, I won’t lobby for you, you sick, book-cooking bastard!”
Silky Sparkles, spokestrollop for the Washington D.C. Adult Companionship Workers Local 269, said that she and her fellow K Street strumpets objected to Grayson’s demeaning use of the word “whore”.
“Being a whore is an honorable profession,” said Ms. Sparkles. “Sure, we do disgusting things with lonely, smelly, fat guys – like Mr. Grayson – in exchange for money, but Robertson lobbied for Enron. I mean… EWWWWW! It’s like, yeah, for enough Benjamins I’ll do ya a Cleveland Clamper or a Seattle Sashimi, but I’ve got STANDARDS! No Denver Danglers, and no working for Enron.”
National Organization for Women (NOW) President Kim Gandy also found the incident disturbing.
“The word ‘whore’ is deeply offensive to all women,” said Gandy. “It’s often reserved for women who step beyond male-patrolled sexual boundaries and is an obscene and especially degrading put-down toward a woman whose only crime is earning a living. However, since Grayson is a Democrat, we’re totally going to let this one slide. Besides, why would we stick up for some stupid whore Republican?”
When informed that Robertson was a Democrat, Gandy shrugged and replied, “Whatever. We mind our own business with Blue-on-Blue.”
After originally having his staff tell reporters to “go check the second definition of ‘whore’ in your stupid whore dictionaries, you damn news whores!”, Grayson later held a press conference where he apologized.
“Some people,” said Grayson, “were offended by my use of the word ‘whore’. I ask you to note that I could’ve called Robertson a chancrous, ill-mannered, gutter-slut – but I didn’t. I could’ve called her a crack-addled, knee-padding, man-gargler – but I didn’t. But I did call her a ‘whore’ – in the context of the debate over whether the Federal Reserve should be independently audited – and for that slip of the tongue… I apologize.”
“As for you actual K Street whores,” concluded Grayson, “I’ll be by later tonight for my Denver Dangler.”
Grayson said, “Or I could have used the more culturally acceptable ‘ho’. And with a little help from my fellow world traveler, Anderson Cooper, should have said – knob bobbing, tea-bagged, skank ho”.
what has more class the K-street whores or Congressman Grayson.
Hilarious 🙂
Am I the only one who thinks Grayson has that “special needs child” look? The forehead, the expresion, the vulgar outbursts? Doesn’t he need a self-contained class?
His continuing “You’re a poopy head kaka” comments are straight from the short bus crowd, the short bus driven by Keith Oburman.
Alan ‘Dick’ Grayson, Publicity Slut
I thought I was reasonably “up” on my slang, but I have no idea what a “Cleveland Clamper” or all the others are. They aren’t even in Wikipedia’s extensive list of sexual techniques. I know they do all kinds of weird stuff in the Navy, Harv, so maybe you can enlighten me? Or do I not want to know?
This is pure Harvey-at-his best genius.
Yeah yeah, thats all very interesting, but how do I get to K street? I want a Milwaukee mud flap and Des Moines drizzler to really set me right.
After today, such comments would be construed as a federal hate crime.
Wacky – IMAO gets enough pr0n spam without my baiting twisted Googlers with actual obscure and expensive items from the hooker menu, so I took a little artistic license with the names.
So if you’ve got an original move in need of a name, then you are free to use one of the ones from my fine bit of investigative journalism.
Just drop me a line, and I’ll tell you where to mail the royalty checks.
Oh, and for the record, that IS a “Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean” reference in that apology.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068853/quotes (4th from the bottom, or CTRL+F “apologizes”)
btw, hilarious article, Harvey. And I don’t really want to know the lengths you went to in order to find that picture.
Whenever I find myself in the District of Corruption I always make time to cruise K Street. Just remember to look for the union label!
“Am I the only one who thinks Grayson has that “special needs child” look?”
It’s 2009. Grayson’s a proud democrat. To mention “special needs” is just redundant.
5 stars for the term “spokestrollop”. Genius.
Grayson is awesome, he is blunt because he is passionate, a man who stands up for the middle and working classes who are being raped by Corporate America. Robertson IS a whore, she lobbied for Enron, and the fact that Bernanke hired a woman who lobbied for a firm which screwed taxpayers tells us what Bernanke thinks of taxpayers.
I’m not being sexist; Hank Paulson, Timmy Geithner, Greenspan, Bernanke are all whores as well.
Ben Bernanke is the very definition of “special needs”, handing out money to foreigners and not knowing who, what kind of moron does that? Scum like Bernanke hide behind civility, have you noticed how helicopter Ben does not answer questions?
Grayson, Kucinich, Kaptur, and Sanders are the only real Democrats, and Ron Paul is the only real Republican.
The rest, whether Republican or Democrat, are corporate whores.
The whole story is pure awesomeness
Gary – this post isn’t about Grayson or his insincere apology (real apologies don’t contain a justification of the offending behavior). It’s about the fact that liberals are supposed to be sensitive to women’s issues, and Grayson dropped a w-bomb on a woman.
Also throw in a little “if Bush had said that, NOW’s blistering condemnation of him would’ve been the headline for weeks.”
Harvey – in the link in the “blue-on-blue” line you have a typo – should be Robertson rather than Robinson. I, too, was pleased with “spokestrollop” and the follow-up of K-Street strumpets was wonderful.
Toubabou – Thanks… fixed now.
I am beginning to like Alan Grayson. I spent nine years getting kicked around in the investment industry as an assistant and I agree that the Fed should at least be audited (which it never has been in its 90+ years) and at most it should be disbanded. And, yes, I am a registered Republican of the Reagan persuasion. I also believe that anyone who defended Enron is a whore and should be treated as one.
I have grown disillusioned with my party – save for Palin and Daniels, Thompson (who doesn’t want to be a politician) – but not enough to go Blue. But Harvey’s post is really funny. And you are right – Bush would have been castigated for months over a similar comment.
I am beginning to like Alan Grayson. I spent nine years getting kicked around in the investment industry as an assistant and I agree that the Fed should at least be audited (which it never has been in its 90+ years) and at most it should be disbanded. And, yes, I am a registered Republican of the Reagan persuasion. I also believe that anyone who defended Enron is a whore and should be treated as one.
I have grown disillusioned with my party – save for Palin and Daniels, Thompson (who doesn’t want to be a politician) – but not enough to go Blue. But Harvey’s post is really funny. And you are right – Bush would have been castigated for months over a similar comment.
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