Random Thoughts

I don’t think you should be free in this country to denounce freedom. Not being free to denounce freedom would make denouncers of freedom happy since then they wouldn’t be free.

Scientists calculate there are up to 10^10^16 alternate universes. That’s five more than I would have guessed.

MSNBC’s ratings and Obama’s sinking popularity tell us that while Americans may vote for liberals, they don’t like hearing them speak.

I hope the Yankees win every competition in every sport so that the only people who are ever happy are Yankees fans. And Satan.

Why do I even visit LGF? The only purpose seems to be to make myself angry at how Charles Johnson mindlessly latches on to arguments like a terrier.

Anyone seen any interesting pine cones lately? I saw one that was brown.

Some seasons I don’t see pine cones. I wonder where they hide.

I hear pine cones are actually pineapples that have been left in the sun too long, but I haven’t confirmed this.

If you leave a pine cone under your pillow, it will really freak out the Tooth Fairy. “What kind of tooth is that?!” Ha ha. Of course, I’m not sure you should interfere with the Tooth Fairy’s business. If it weren’t for her, we’d have landfills of teeth.

I really don’t know what pine cones are hoping to accomplish, but from the looks of them it can’t be anything good.

Who would ever have thought to pitch the premise of Red Dwarf as a sitcom? For fun, I just described the show to my wife and didn’t mention it was a British sitcom. “There’s this spaceship, and this one man is disciplined and put into stasis for the rest of the mission. When he awakes, the whole crew is dead from a radiation leak, and it’s three million years in the future. It’s hilarious!”

The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door there was a pine cone sitting on the front steps. Whoever did that, that’s not funny.

Cats aren’t as flammable as you’d think.

Am I annoying? I certainly don’t like me, but I don’t like anyone.

How could anyone be unhappy when they know they’re loved by someone as important as Jesus?

Jesus does not love pine cones.

I hate it when a baseball game is tied. Nine innings is already way too many for such a boring sport.

If you shoot a monkey and say it was self-defense, do they just take your word as a human or do you have a full trial?

27 Comments

  1. Anyone seen any interesting pine cones lately? I saw one that was brown.

    I was hiking the other day. I saw one that looked like Obama’s face. It was sticky and brown.

    I hate it when a baseball game is tied. Nine innings is already way too many for such a boring sport.

    I once loved baseball until I realized that the Pirates will never be good again.

    If you shoot a monkey and say it was self-defense, do they just take your word as a human or do you have a full trial?

    We can’t shoot monkeys in cold blood anymore? Another reason for the moon’s mocking us.

  2. I’m not even going to ask about what happened to you involving a pine cone, Frank.

    I guess I like them because, back when my son was a little kid and art class was therefore age-appropriate for a boy, he made a Christmas tree ornament out of one. I still have it.

    I had to pull him out of art class once he hit age 5. Boys should be learning how to handle a gun, not how to paint watercolors, once they pass that age.

  3. The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door there was a pine cone sitting on the front steps. Whoever did that, that’s not funny.

    Pine cones are the work of Satan. I’d say Obama put the pine cone on your step as a message.

  4. Here’s my random thought, well one of them at any rate….What could possibly be worse than broiling yourself to death in a plastic covered (plastic for God’s sake) phony Indian sweat lodge in a vain attempt to become one with the universe just as the ancient natives did before the evil white people forced them to abandon their old ways and eventually become casino operators?? Paying some California flim-flam artist big bucks for the privilege….that’s what!

  5. I think that one of the Frank J’s from one of the alternate universes are writing his Pajamas Media Columns.
    The thief cometh but to steal, kill, and destroy. Kind of like the New York Yankees.
    It will be worth seeing the Yankees win it all, so that Red Sox fans can get back to their whining ways.
    9 of the 10 voices in my head tell me that pine cone humor isn’t actually humorous.
    If you shoot a monkey, and say it was self-defense, just make sure you plant a weapon on it’s lifeless corpse before reporting it.
    Any sport that needs a 7th inning stretch probably shouldn’t go 7 innings.
    One of the innings was so long that God had time to create the heavens and the earth. That would be in the Big Inning…
    The Tooth Fairy doesn’t seem too bright about economics, it’s a wonder he/she/ it hasn’t been named O-bah-muhhz Economic Stimulus Czar.

  6. It’s the pine trees you need to worry about!

    They are evil insidious creatures bent on human destruction, kind of like monkeys. First they spread a soft bed of pine needles which is really a neural network through which they drain the life force of any hapless human who ventures too close. The pine cones are actually the lifeless husks of the unwary, although, in some years they are carried off in huge numbers by hordes of soccer Moms and other Martha Stewart wannabes.

    Does that clear it up for you, Frank?

  7. I saw some interesting pine cones in the grocery store the other day: they were cinnamon-scented.

    I’ve read that pine cones make pretty good kindling for a fire. Wouldn’t fire take care of pine cones and monkeys, in a “2 birds” kinda way?

  8. Nunya, if you burn a pine cone or monkey or cat, peta will camp on your stoop to throw tar or poo or hairballs at you. Unless of course you tell them it was a conservative. then that would be okay.

  9. There was report from Charles Fort about a six foot tall walking pinre cone in England. Frank may be on to something. Or the pine cone was from the Red Dwarf. Take your pick.

    What ever complaints we conservatives have with Bush the elder, he did a fine job calling out the pmsnbc crowd the other day. If bush the elder can still kick your butt, you ARE washed up.

  10. Jesus the Messiah loves his sheep. You don’t look like a sheep. (Could be the whole nuke the moon thing.) Complete the syllogism.

    Repent and believe the gospel while it is the favorable year of the Lord; God’s day of vengeance of is coming. Sorry, a nuked moon will be the least of it – eternal lake of fire and all that. With the new heavens and the new earth, I’m thinking the pine cones will make out okay in the transition. People who aren’t His sheep…well…

  11. “The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door there was a pine cone sitting on the front steps. Whoever did that, that’s not funny.”

    It was the only way we could settle the bet. I had money on briefs, most of the other posters had guessed boxers. I’ll admit it Frank, you really shocked us with the thong.

  12. Pingback: 12 Monkeys Poster | The OriginalUnOriginal.Com

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