The Life of Julia slideshow Obama unveiled was just a rough draft. Obama has since consulted with futurists and science fiction authors to give more precise details about what life will be like with Julia under his guiding hand versus what will happen if Mitt Romney is elected. And I got my hands on these details and reveal them in my new PJ Media column.
AGE 25
Under President Obama: Julia graduates college and looks for a job. No jobs are currently available, so she is given more contraceptives. She watches on TV as President Obama, now immortal in his robot unicorn body, is democratically elected god king. Thanks to the new two-way TV design, she is comforted by the fact that Obama could be looking back at her.
Under Mitt Romney: Julia ventures out only at night to make it harder for Bain Capital’s hunter/seeker robots to find her.
“Having no way to learn anything without government help, she eventually drinks a gallon of paint.”
Unfortunately, I was drinking 1/16 gallon of coffee when I read that.
Some people have pointed out that Obama is a socialist for advocating cradle to grave government dependence with his Julia cartoon character.
Some people have also pointed out that Obama is a sexist for only including a female character in his slide show.
However, I believe that I’m one of the first to point out that he’s a RACIST!!! for only using a white cartoon character to illustrate his propaganda. What about all the cartoon characters of color??!! What about all the cartoon characters with high cheek bones???!!! PROTEST!!!!!
Such a bland, inoffensive white name to pick. I’m just curious why his advisers told him to go with it.
It HAS enjoyed a surge of popularity amongst the post-baby-boom generations, though:
http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager#prefix=julia&ms=true&sw=f&exact=true
Your best column yet, Frank. Isn’t it great to have a President who supplies such great material?
And arn’t you gonna be sad when its gone and you only have Rommy to kick around
RAML – I think Frank will be just fine under a Romney presidency. After all, the majority of his “In My World” posts caricatured the Bush administration.
And Romney’s got plenty of characteristics that can be exaggerated for effect.
I have designed a more accurate version of the life of Julia under our beloved “leader”.