Archive of entries posted on July 2012

Random Thoughts: Olympic Fever!

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1.5% GDP growth means we haven’t been building that.

I still don’t get the point of Obama’s “You didn’t build that!” speech unless the arrogance of business creators is a big problem.

I don’t see any reason to deal with people who respond to my work with nothing but vulgarity, but then again my mom is free baby sitting.

No matter how you parse Obama’s “You didn’t build that!” speech, it’s a useless twit chastising business creators.

For some, it’s either cry racism or take a hard look at oneself and one’s political views.

I had a pretty good childhood for the parts not spent stuck down a well.

If you want to be cool and popular, Christianity is traditionally not the way to go.

Actually, if you’re never mocked, you might be doing it wrong.

There’s a lot of history in England with hobbits and Hogwarts and what not.

I wish the opening ceremony were a little quieter so it would be easier for me to read Game of Thrones while my wife watches.

“Want to give daddy a hug?”
“No.”
“Want to give daddy a hug?”
“No.”
“Want a tickling?”
“I want a hug.”

I don’t like that it takes a threat of tickling to get a hug, but it’s better than no baby hugs.

I’m quite amazed at Buttercup’s language ability and she’s not even two. Way better than the dog and she’s nine.

I would have thought by now they’d have changed it to “Science! Save the Queen.”

How long were the lines for health care while the doctors and nurses were out learning dance numbers?

Is the opening ceremony filled with subliminal messages to murder people, because I’ve been thinking about murder a lot more than usual.

If I were in charge of our Olympics team, our flag bearer would be an actual bear.

I like Douthat and Nate Silver at the NYTimes, but I’m not sure they counteract the blackhole of stupidity that is Krugman and Friedman.

Olympic fever really got me bad this time. Since the opening ceremony, I haven’t stopped vomiting.

If you lose in your event, do you still get to take home the Olympics home game?

As with all Olympics, I need to state that if a judge determines who wins instead of an objective result, then it’s not a real sport, i.e., all boxing matches should go until one guy stops trying to get up.

The Correct Response to a Shooting Spree

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[High Praise! to 4of7]

From the 1986 TV Movie “The Right of the People” [NOTE: there’s another good part in here about going from a liberal to a conservative in 45 seconds when confronted with reality (starts at 1:41), but I’m just going for the pro-gun rousing speech here, which – unfortunately – gets cut off prior to its conclusion in this clip]:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #408)

The irony here is that the movie itself was actually just gun-control propaganda. As one reviewer put it:

Of course, what ends up happening is that every little verbal spat ends up in a shooting, and the town is in chaos. The POINT, as if no one can figure it out, is that guns turn otherwise rational people into mentally depraved, frothy murderous lunatics.

It was a silly display. Just because you CAN kill someone doesn’t mean you’d try, no matter how flippant he’s being about your fender-bender. Most people know the difference between a heated argument and lethal violence; even if they’d be inclined to throw a punch, they’re not going to take it to the level of death.

Much to the producers’ chagrin, of course, subsequent to the movie, many states liberalized their carry laws, and instead of this morass of carnage, crime in each of those states experienced an immediate, dramatic, and permanent drop in crime.

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UPDATE: Linked by Darth Chipmunk

Pop Quiz: How Many of Obama’s Green Energy Companies Have Gone Bankrupt?

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[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

Answer: 12
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1. Abound Solar (Loveland, Colorado), manufacturer of thin film photovoltaic modules.

2. Beacon Power (Tyngsborough, Massachusetts), designed and developed advanced products and services to support stable, reliable and efficient electricity grid operation.

3. Ener1 (Indianapolis, Indiana), built compact lithium-ion-powered battery solutions for hybrid and electric cars.

4. Energy Conversion Devices (Rochester Hills, Michigan/Auburn Hills, Michigan), manufacturer of flexible thin film photovoltaic (PV) technology and a producer of batteries and other renewable energy-related products.

5. Evergreen Solar, Inc. (Marlborough, Massachusetts), manufactured and installed solar panels.

6. Mountain Plaza, Inc. (Dandridge, Tennessee), designed and implemented “truck-stop electrification” technology.

7. Olsen’s Crop Service and Olsens Mills Acquisition Co. (Berlin, Wisconsin), a private company producing ethanol.

8. Range Fuels (Soperton, Georgia), tried to develop a technology that converted biomass into ethanol without the use of enzymes.

9. Raser Technologies (Provo, Utah), geothermal power plants and technology licensing.

10. Solyndra (Fremont, California), manufacturer of cylindrical panels of thin-film solar cells.

11. Spectrawatt (Hopewell, New York), solar cell manufacturer.

12. Thompson River Power LLC (Wayzata, Minnesota), designed and developed advanced products and services to support stable, reliable and efficient electricity grid operation.
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Easiest way to become a millionaire in America? When Obama touts a green energy company – sell short.

The Cruelest Anti-Obama Billboard Ever Erected

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[High Praise! to A Cop’s Watch]

I’ve seen the pictures of the Bush “Miss Me Yet?” billboard before.

I thought it was just funny. You know… because it’s true. Bush’s economy didn’t set the world on fire, but compared to Obama’s disaster, it looked pretty good.

Now there’s this, and it’s just plain mean:

Damn… that one’s gonna leave a mark.

Because at this point, I almost do.

[According to ACW, this is real, not photoshopped, but I can’t confirm it. Anyone around Diboll, Texas, who’s seen this? Address is 1513 N Temple Dr.]
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UPDATE: From the comments, Mik [High Praise!] says he’s personally seen this billboard.

UPDATE: Linked by I’m a Man, I’m 41

UPDATE: Linked by American Power

UPDATE: Linked by The Real Revo

UPDATE: Linked by Liberty News

Obama Doesn’t Just Eat Dogs, He Pees Like Them, Too.

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[High Praise! to Theo Spark]

Say, remember when Obama said, “they talk about me like a dog”?

Maybe this is why:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,093)

Oh, and it would be remiss of me to omit Fred Thompson’s Twitter response to Obama’s comment:

“Obama: some people in DC ‘talk about me like a dog.’ Maybe it’s because he keeps treating this country like a fire hydrant.”

Obama Fails at Optics Again

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The White House thought it would make Obama look good to tweet a photo of him in some high school gymnasium, enthusiastically watching some sport (probably basketball), then captioning said photo with pandering, touchy-feely crap about kids & parents.

Just one problem.

Kid in the back row, fiddling with some electronic device, completely unimpressed by either the sporting event or the presence of Obama.

Either they didn’t notice, or they realized that they couldn’t crop him out without losing the coach’s head or one of the diversity-prop spectators.

Anyway, I re-did the messaging for them:

Apparently this kid’s passion is not giving a crap what Obama thinks is important.

He’ll go far in this world.

Link of the Day: This Is What it Means to Have Help

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[High Praise! to Hunter of Atomic Monkey Action Squad]

I had a lot of help

This story is not about Barack Obama.

When he emailed me, Hunter explained that although the whole thing with Obama telling entrepreneurs that they “had help” was the spark that ignited this compellingly dramatic write-up of a very dire personal experience, the story is only tangential at the point of the phrase itself, and is neither political nor related to Obama’s speech.

But I’ll make a political connection anyway.

The kind of help Obama talks about is compulsory, impersonal, and not nearly as helpful as he wants you to think.

The kinds of help Hunter talks about are basic human decency, and the acceptance of gifts freely offered.

The connection is that whenever Obama speaks of the former, he hopes you’ll mistakenly interpret it as being the latter.

Whether you read Hunter’s story or not, I know you know better than to fall prey to such sleight-of-hand Presidential chicanery.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

What’s a Good Food Analogy for Elizabeth Warren?

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From a comment discussion with Zach [High Praise!]
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ZACH: I’d kind of like to see us all start calling her Twinkie Warren.

I do kind of like Lizzie Warren, though. It sounds like Lizzie Borden.

HARVEY: Zach – Might not work, since the more popular interpretation of “Twinkie” is as an Asian slur: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

For Warren, you’d need something that was white on the outside and 1/32 red on the inside.

I’m thinking “powdered jelly donut”.

ZACH: Harvey, nobody makes a snack food that is a good analogy for her. If they did, they wouldn’t stay in business very long. Probably the closest thing you might see in real life is a store that advertises jelly doughnuts but a disgruntled baker filled them with mayonnaise.
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OK, maybe she’s a powdered sugar donut that’s sitting behind a sign that says “jelly donuts”?

Spanish Omelette, hold the tomatoes?

Tapioca pudding? (“those little lumps look white, but they’re actually red – see their tiny little high cheekbones?”)

Any other ideas?

Fun Facts About the 50 States: Idaho

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Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll be crushed to discover that there’s no such thing as a Mr. Potato Head Land theme park as we visit Idaho, so let’s get started…

Idaho state flag
The Latin motto on the flag, “Esto Perpetua” means “in the divorce, she gets the deer head.
  • Idaho became the 43rd state on July 3rd, 1890, despite objections from Illinois, Indiana, and Iowa that there were already too many states beginning with the letter “I.”
  • Gutzon Borglum, the sculptor of Mount Rushmore, was born in Bear Lake, Idaho. He did his famous work in South Dakota after ruining every mountain in Idaho trying to get Washington’s nose just right.
  • Idaho has only one radio station, but since all the surrounding mountains ruin the reception, it has only a handful of listeners. Although this may also be because it carries NPR.
  • Idaho is America’s largest lumber producer and the only state in the U.S. with a National Forest consisting entirely of stumps.
  • The word “Idaho” comes from the Crow Indian word, “E-dah-how,” meaning “Is there ANY month when it doesn’t snow around here?”
  • The tourism motto of Idaho is “Cold and boring like Canada, except with more gun-crazed right-wing militias.”
  • The state tree of Idaho is the stump.
  • Because of the long distances between cities in Idaho, most trucks carry an emergency Hyundai in the glove compartment.
  • If your Hyundai doesn’t work and you become stranded in Idaho, it’s traditional to wait three hours before resorting to cannibalism.
  • Idaho is home to numerous private militias, which, like their revolutionary forefathers, have orders to shoot anyone wearing a red coat.
  • Idaho state law requires all registered Democrats to wear a red coat to the polls on election day.
  • Hell’s Canyon in Idaho is 7900 feet deep, which makes it both deeper than the Grand Canyon AND a great place to throw registered Democrats after election day.
  • Although normally a peaceful city, Boise, Idaho occasionally erupts with violent gunfights between rival gangs of skiers and snowboarders.
  • The state bird of Idaho is the Bluebird, a shameful choice which clearly discriminates against the colorblind.
  • Elk River, Idaho is home to the state’s largest tree. At nearly 200 feet tall, it’s estimated that this single tree contains enough wood to build a chair capable of supporting Michael Moore.
  • In Idaho, it’s illegal to give someone a box of candy weighing more than 50 pounds, which is why Rosie O’Donnell will never play the Boise Improv.
  • Well, that, and she’d end up in Hell’s Canyon after election day.
  • Idaho is home to North America’s largest sand dune. It’s 470 feet tall, and is visited annually by over 1 million stray cats looking for a place to pee.
  • Appaloosa horses originated in Idaho and were first bred by the local Indians as a war animal. Today, this hearty breed is still highly prized for its thick armor plating.
  • The largest diamond ever found in the US was a 20-carat stone discovered in McCall, Idaho, which then changed its name to Bling City.
  • Being a large but sparsely populated state, land is incredibly cheap in Idaho. However, due to high transportation costs for lumber, you can’t afford to build a house on your property unless you make it out of potatoes.
  • The first nuclear power plant in the US was built in Arco, Idaho in 1953, but was destroyed in 1955 by giant mutant sheep.
  • Arco is now known as the “Radioactive sweater capital of the world.”
  • The firefighting ax was invented in Wallace, Idaho after giant mutant sheep drank the town’s entire water supply.
  • Beaver Canyon, near the city of Spencer, Idaho, is rumored to be the site of a huge fortune in buried treasure. No one has found it yet because they’re too busy giggling at the canyon’s name to search for it.
  • In 1925, the entire city of American Falls, Idaho was moved to make way for the American Falls Dam. The dam itself was recently moved to make way for a Wal-Mart.
  • Thanks for the Kelo decision, Supreme Court!
  • Jackasses.
  • Television was invented in Rigby, Idaho, which may explain the city’s frighteningly low scores on standardized tests.
  • In 1896, Butch Cassidy robbed the bank in Montpelier, Idaho, after being screwed out of his free tote bag when he opened a checking account there.
  • Idaho law forbids children from deliberately stepping on ants. The kids don’t mind too much, however, since pistol-whipping them is still legal.

That wraps up the Idaho edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’re off to the Land of Lincoln for a look at Illinois.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pistol-whip some ants.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]