Obama apparently has a very long to do list this year for Independence Day. Here is what my leaks claim he will be busy with this holiday:
- Lay by the pool with his old, lovingly dog-eared copy of The Communist Manifesto.
- Finally get around to reading The Declaration of Independence.
- Ruminate about making his birthday National Black President’s Day.
- Finally beat the Korean Team in the annual White House hot dog cook off with his special version of Bo-wurst.
- Cancel the 4th of July and blame it on the sequester.
- Debut his new 4th of July Pageant in which the British win and King Barack eventually takes the throne.
- Announce that 9/11 will now be National Tolerance Day, and tell his fireworks crew to ‘light up the sky like Benghazi.’
- Spend the day in white face and a powdered wig.
- Go through the NSA phone and e-mail records so he can get his next list of targets to the IRS before the audit deadlines, which inevitably means, get a good tax lawyer, Frank J.
- Have Bill Ayers over for drinks to discuss their plans for his ‘unauthorized’ autobiography.
- Give everyone in his administration a gift certificate good for one free pardon. The offer never expires.
- Put tiny holes in Biden’s water wings and alert the media so they can catch him jumping into the pool and saving Joe’s life.
- Take a $29,000,000 family vacation instead of a $30,000,000 vacation, stupid sequester.
- Take a day off from his arduous golfing schedule.
- Let Joe come with them to Disneyland so they can jump to the front of the lines.
- Buy extra bandages and salve in case Joe keeps grabbing the wrong end of the sparklers again.
If Egypt is any example, he might want to think about restricting access to green, handheld lasers.
BBQ Dog…HE ATE A DOG! Frack!