If you ask a Slim Shady if he's the real one, legally he has to stand up.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) July 25, 2013
Whoever stole my shoes while I was on that bouncy castle needs to grow up.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) July 25, 2013
Honestly, who can remember how many women you sexted outside your marriage after sexting already cost you a seat in Congress?
— SunnyRight (@sunnyright) July 25, 2013
*the doctor smiles at dad* congrats, you're a dad *turns to mom* congrats, you're a mother *turns to baby* congratulations you're a baby
— ｂｅｅ (@afriendlyb) July 25, 2013
Filner / Weiner 2016 (meters underwater)
— Erik (@torgospizza) July 26, 2013
I often wonder how my tweets are going to sound when read aloud at my future divorce hearing.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) July 26, 2013
Ur the worst, Connecticut. This same road work on 95 has been going on since u were a colony. Get it together.
— Bill Schulz (@BillSchulz) July 26, 2013