If I die before I wake there's a gun and a list of suspects in my nightstand. Amen.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) July 2, 2013
Now that Avril Lavigne and the guy from Nickleback are married do you think they'll start a bland together?
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) July 2, 2013
Michael Bloomberg is like a less-charismatic, less-capable Lex Luthor.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 2, 2013
Shorter ObamaCare Delay: Math is hard.
— Stephen Green (@VodkaPundit) July 2, 2013
I'm still upset that "So You Think You Can Dance?" isn't a show about cowboys shooting at people's feet.
— TheBestWorstAdvice (@BestWorstAdvice) July 3, 2013