Straight Line of the Day: Scientists Are Attempting to Resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA Samples. Their Follow-Up Project…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

77 Comments

  1. …resurrecting functional brains from liberal voters.

    …bringing back M*A*S*H (or Soap).

    …finding Mr. Wooly Mammoth a prom date (I nominate San Fran Nan or Sandra Fluke)

    …getting him into a proper uniform for his new Airport Security Frisking Person job.

    …auditioning him for The Voice.

  2. 16.walruskkkch says:
    August 1st, 2013 at 12:17 pm
    Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

    pulling a rabbit of their hat.

    You realize, of course, they’ll accidentally use lion or rhino or flying squirrel DNA….

  3. Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

    moving the animals to Alabama to harvest their Ivory because everyone knows in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

  4. Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

    One morning I woke up and shot a Wooly Mammoth in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

  5. … blame Bush and Republicans for the climate change that caused its extinction.
    … find the Koch brothers’ time machine that they used to frack for natural gas, causing the ice age.
    … resurrect a wise-cracking saber-toothed tiger that sounds like Dennis Leary, and feed John Leguizamo to it.

  6. …determine if cost effectiveness will be enough to spray orange paint on Michelle Obama or all of the mammoths.

    …strengthen Chris Christie’s stomach bands with Adamantium.

    …equip Whoopi Goldberg with a mammoth hunting season early warning system.

    …fast track the Kenneth Pinyan Horse-Mammoth Protection Act.

    …just for laughs, resurrect an extinct mouse to scare it with.

  7. Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…
    resurrect Ronald Reagan to beat the snot out of the dog eater and fix the mess we’re in.

  8. …Resurrect Detroit
    …Resurrect Lindsay Lohan’s career
    …Resurrect morals in the Democratic party

    Never mind, all of those are too hard. They are better of resurrecting extinct animals like the Dodo.

  9. …hire Fred Flintstone to cater the annual picnic.

    …resurrect Eva Cassidy and obliterate Justin Bieber making being a scientist cool again, except for the many sobbing scientist Bielebers.

    …mix a bit of human DNA into Pelosi and laugh as it gets rejected like a Romney presidential bid.

    …avoiding prosecution for replacing some missing mammoth DNA with some stolen from Obama’s ears.

  10. ………………attempting to insert a spine and integrity (extinct body part and moral code) into the president of the United States.

    ………………creating stun collars for politicians. Every time they lie they are shocked, the more they lie the heavier the shock.

    ……………..trying to find the black hole into which the president has thrown our economy, our society and our future, and using the presidents ears or michele’s butt to stop it up.

  11. … Wooly mammoths with non-binding resolutions on their back.

    … Determining if wooly mammoth steak is better rare or well done.

    … A completely unrelated project fighting off wooly mammoth zombies. Participants just need to grab a gun and follow the dotted line… they’ll know when the test starts.

  12. Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

    … a Star Trek-type transporter buffer that can filter up to eight years of Obama from the American economy.

  13. Scientists are attempting to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA samples. Their follow-up project…

    somehow push Earth into another Ice Age so that they will have some natural habitat.

  14. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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