Straight Line of the Day: Florida Says Successful Obamacare Enrollees Are an “Urban Legend”. Other Obamacare Urban Legends…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

52 Comments

  1. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    After partying on your limitless EBT cards at Walmart you wake up in a tub of ice in a cheap hotel in Juarez with you kidneys missing! Although, on further consideration…

  2. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    a drowned Polar Bear. Honestly, has anyone ever produced an actual polar bear that died by drowning?

  3. … that legions of young, healthy, largely unemployed youth are gullible enough to pay inordinately high insurance premiums to subsidize everyone else when most of them still qualify to stay on their parents’ plans. Of course, this is the group that voted for Obama – twice – so maybe that isn’t such a fable after all.

  4. Please, Damon is the biggest practical joker I know. He once convinced a sophomore that he was the middle Hanson brother just so he could get laid.
    Waking up in a bathtub full of ice in a seedy motel with fresh sutures is a good thing.

  5. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    Obama was born in Hawaii.

    the Vegan option turned out to be a Chihuahua!

    Republicans schedule impeachment hearings! Damn.

  6. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …affordable premiums

    …that the bill was actually read

    …that Obama actually Cares

    …that Obamacare covers a lame duck

  7. …other Obamacare Urban Legends…

    Are all RACIST because “urban” is a Honkey codeword for black and “legend” means fairy-tale so it’s all about keepin’ a brotha down, so…RACIST!!!

  8. . . . your only going to feel a little stick in your wallet.

    . . . only good looking, young, female doctors will be assigned for the “turn your head and cough” test.

    . . . trust me, this won’t hut a bit.

  9. …you will ever successfully communicate with your doctor without having the owner of the local 7-11 as a translator.

    …there will not be separate waiting-to-die rooms for people determined by the IRS as hostile to Obama.

    …scientists will use DNA instead of IRAs to determine how long you might live.

    …you will get a discount if you have an open wound when you forget it’s Bring Your Own Needle Tuesday.

    …abortion on demand won’t be a downloadable TV channel.

    …pharmaceutical marijuana will always mean more than normal Cheetos residue on your Vicodin and Oxycontin pills.

  10. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …butt-enhancement injections are covered by ObamaCare as long as the injections are with “Fix a Flat” – and it is administered by a transgender.
    ref: http://www.complex.com/city-guide/2011/11/transgender-miami-woman-gives-butt-injections-with-fix-a-flat

    …Sasquatch, Chupacabra and the Skunk Ape will enroll next year during the employer mandate.

  11. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …senior citizens all over Florida were asking why Election Day had been moved to October — and were wondering if they could enroll with punch cards.

    …senior citizens were confused why they had to enroll in a program that would provide “care” to the Obamas. “What’s in it for me?” was the most common comment.

  12. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …Kathleen Sebelius has a PhD in Information Technology.

    …the Iranians infected the ObamaCare system with the Stuxnet virus when Hassan Rouhani was in NYC for the UN meeting.

    …Al Gore actually designed the ObamaCare system, but he spent all his time perfecting the Internet — and inventing global warming.

  13. …is that it is in any way different than Romneycare. -It is *exactly* the same. The only reason the law is 1,000 pages long is because they used a really large font in order for Nancy Pelosi to read it easier after they passed it.

  14. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …in Florida, George Zimmerman was the third person to successfully enroll, but his application was squashed by Al Sharpton a member of the ObamaCare death panel.

    …Hugo Chavez hacked his way into the system, created an account, and was almost successful in enrolling — his mistake was to list death as a pre-existing condition.

    …Osama bin Laden hacked his way into the system, but his enrollment rejected because ‘underwater’ was not a valid permanent address.

  15. Florida says successful Obamacare enrollees are an “urban legend“. Other Obamacare urban legends…

    …Osama bin Laden hacked his way into the system, but his enrollment was rejected because ‘underwater’ was not a valid permanent address. (correction)

  16. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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